{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Team member sends email copying PM saying I messed up...\n\nCue: All versions in question with revision trackers, and several passive aggressive questions about Microsoft Office errors\n\n#coveryourass", "post_id": "5a8f93e0a5e055001355e841", "reply_count": 26, "vote_count": 10, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

Team member sends email copying PM saying I messed up... Cue: All versions in question with revision trackers, and several passive aggressive questions about Microsoft Office errors #coveryourass

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What a toxic environment. I'd get you both in a room if I was PM. Both making yourselves look bad more than the other.

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Instead of all of the attaching and cc'ing and passive aggressiveness why don't you suggest a quick call / meeting to walk through things? They go low you go high

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A1: CYA is the practice of re attaching all emails and trackers of work you’ve done when someone accuses you of making an error you didn’t make

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A passive aggressive response is not the move, in my book. There is no sense wrestling with a pig in the mud. You will just wind up dirty, and the pig enjoys it. I would take the person aside, 1:1, and read them the riot act about the right way to work together. I prefer to confront aggression with directness and assertiveness. However, I agree that when you receive a broadside like that, you absolutely must respond.

likesmart

Best accompanied by passive aggressive comments like “See attached mtg recap on our decisions about the deliverable and my list of next steps. Sent to you on (date) and attached here for reference. It appears the team missed discussing that item during the meeting, and the team missed assigning an owner to that item that had not been discussed"

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In person feedback is my general usual way of doing things 🤷‍♂️. That is tough to do when there’s email record of messing up and performance reviews are coming up. We also have 9 hours of back to back client mtgs tmr so there’s time to meet. M1, in an ideal world we could chat. But it’s tough for junior staff members when we get called out via email. With the flaw of recent memories holding stronger in the human mind, I’d rather the team member respond confirming they were incorrect rather than the manager going into a performance review with the last memory they have of me as an email where I messed up

likeuplifting

I would appreciate your email response, OP. Followed up by an in person meeting where the two of you work this out. Can't fault you for covering your ass (let's not act like we don't all do it) and presenting a paper trail of evidence. That's not passive aggressive at all. But finding a solution and a way forward with your toxic colleague would be the logical next step and the way to "go high" like folks here are suggesting.

likehelpful

??? *confused

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M1: I actually picked this skill up in my last project which was particularly toxic...this project is actually fine but in this case I did a lot of extra work that I didn’t need to for this team member, so a cc to the manager saying I messed up, rather than spending 5 min checking past client comms and versions, or emailing me (without cc-ing me the manager a question) like “hey can you double check all the clients edits from the last week are in?” brought out these skills I hope I don’t need to use in the future... ☺️

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OP M1 is probably right but I’m with you 100%. You absolutely have to call out peoples BS and drop the pleasantries sometimes.

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I agree with M1 in theory, but having been there as a junior resource, I would have enjoyed putting together the email clap back too lol

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People who pull that move are beneath contempt, in my view. The right thing to do would have been to come directly to you with the error, and give you a chance to fix it. That's how you build trust and act like a team player instead of a competitor trying to play "gotcha." Relationships matter, and that colleague just demonstrated that he cannot be trusted. Very short sighted.

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OP, I would have presented the accuser with the evidence and told them they have one day to retract what they said and correct their mistake. No need to involve the PM. Just come to that person and tell em to make it right. Address the issue and fix the error. Then escalate as required.

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Sending that response in an email doesn’t nobody any good except make you both look like squabbling babies. Pro tip is to respond by requesting a meeting to discuss, and then having that ready should the conversation take that turn. There could be something you missed, you just don’t know it yet. Having humility goes 10x further in situations like these

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A1 I am with a boutique firm

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Like I said before, I would remember both of your defensiveness more than any mess up that wasn't actually one. My last memory would be this guy takes initiative to resolve issues rather than perpetuate a silly email trail.

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To each their own. The message was worded not as a defense to my work, it was worded that I was concerned the client emails and wrong versions were being sent to me or not being fwd along. Our main client actually misses people on cc all time so not getting all the emails from the client has happened. (Per my original post it was all written in the spirit of CYA though)

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I hate emails like this. Pick up the phone and get it fixed

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Grow up children

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Maybe next time try saying "I'll look into it" then email the accusor with the evidence and ask them if theyre "seeing the same issue" then ask them to let the team know / just update the team after. Avoid the mud fight. Like all the managers are saying here, nobody wins when you do that, it lacks tact.

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What to do when you severely disagree with a retired partner

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