The holidays has always been difficult for me. Whenever used I meet up with my family, it’s always the same old toxic dynamic, so much fighting... that I stopped meeting up with them for the holidays a few years ago.

My close friends typically go home to their families and spend time/travel together. I have no SO to enjoy this time with. I feel like something is so wrong with me for not having any loved ones to spend the holidays with together.

Does this get better with time?

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I’m in a similar situation. I do think over time you can find friends and people to focus on sharing these holiday times with. I have a friends giving every year and for Xmas i go home w a friend every year too. I think focus on the relationships in your life that feel good and positive, invest in them and make the holidays about celebrating them

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I’m in the same boat and have been for the past 5 years. Used to spend holidays with a friend’s family but stopped this year due to COVID. Honestly it helps lessen the judgement/sympathy I would normally get when you just say “oh yes I’m not traveling for the holidays due to the pandemic.” You sound like a hero! A lot of people are alone for the holidays whether COVID related or just because of toxic/lack of family. I think people just don’t talk about it or parade it as much on social media so just know you’re not alone

helpful

I hear you and I’ve made those decisions as well. It can feel lonely but I was at peace unstressed. It only gets better if you do something about it like start building relationships with other people, put yourself out there to potentially meet SOs, maybe work on therapy with your family etc.

I HAVE been doing something about it, but I can’t exactly force myself into friend’s family gatherings if an invite was never extended in the first place.

Same with dating, I’ve done my best on that department as well but have yet to find a man who is consistently respectful towards me.

I’ve put in the effort to build those relationships. I have good friends, but looks like they’re settled with their guest list for the holidays just fine. For dating it just hasn’t been jelling. I’ve done therapy for years and am told it’s just a matter of time and continue to put myself out there.

All I’m short for in ‘effort’ is forcing myself into someone’s home for the holidays, or forcing a relationship with men who aren’t good to me. The latter feels very tempting right about now, but I’m resisting as logically I know that would hurt me in the long run. I’m at my wit’s end.

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