The last paragraph really did it for me.

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funnylikeuplifting
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

You've got to raise your level of tolerance if you think this is cringe. Any good recruiter ideally goes through someone's profile before reaching out and the last paragraph saves everybody's time.

likefunny

Like a blue chip ball player holding out announcing his college choice 😂

likefunny

Well one things for sure, Deloitte didn't teach the difference between "it's" and "its"

likefunnysmart

To be fair…I think you’re supposed to learn that before you get there lol!

like

Why can’t people understand the difference between it’s (it is) and its (possessive form of it) is beyond me.

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Its beyond me

"What makes the firm great is its people." Literally the same boilerplate nonsense talking point used by every single executive at every single company. Trust me, when you said "what makes deloitte so wonderful…." we all knew where the end of the sentence was gonna land.

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When I left my previous company of 10 years after a painful disappointment, I had so much to say and concluded to just leave and say nothing anywhere.

Apparently my silence was louder.

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Deloitte 1, I was an international transfer during the pandemic repatriated in a very unfair and harsh manner I've never seen in my company. I had to escalate my situation to regional and HR directors in both US and my home country.

Being 10 years in the company many people knew me. I declined joining my 10 year celebration and said nothing to anyone.

Apparently rumors began spreading even when I said nothing and the leads involved in the repatriation decisions created a narrative where they did everything right and it stained my reputation.

When I resigned more people from HR and leadership had questions so my little escalation went to a lot of people, didn't change a thing anyway.

So once I left leaders were confronted with the contradictions in their narrative and because I didn't say goodbye as people noticed I was gone the topic revived over and over.

When they realized I have a better position and am growing in my current company that prompted more rumours.

I don't get involved with that I just look forward. But despite rumours I'm glad my work and my results are louder.

Recruiters who reach out via Linked In aren’t worth my time anyways. Every time I’ve gotten messages from them, it’s always some kind of commission only job where you’re taking ALL the risk and eating the start up costs for the “privilege” to say you work for xyz company.

likehelpful

^ same as Google 2.

I love the boundaries. Telling recruiters one-by-one that I was starting a new role in a couple weeks was annoying, and I would have rather they spent their time reaching out to someone actually available.
Some were really pushy, too, trying to get me to drop an offer a couple weeks out from my start date for a team I didn’t even know and a client they wouldn’t disclose.

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LinkedIn is now FB Circa 2008, persona: high school student. Please fix.

What is wrong with people lol

Can confirm this is what you become after time at Deloitte

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What are other facilities in PWC?
And how much hike will get ?

@pwc

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can you return things bought using Shop Your Way points at Sears?

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VUMC clinics pay how much?

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I'm evaluating two offers and would love any advice.

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I have offers from PwC India and EY GDS with same CTC in technology domain. Which one should I choose and why?
The important parameters for me are annual hikes, promotion, work life balance, learning, growth and exit opportunities. Kindly help.

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How would you prepare for a SQL or any coding live interview? Do you solve hackerank or leet code problems every day?

like

How do Bernie supporters support Biden after this?

likefunnyhelpful

Where can I find an Xbox Series X without having to pay 1,000 dollars for it

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I heard that when Netflix hires outside counsel, it asks a series of questions to determine how credit is given at the firm selected. The goal is to ensure that the “old white hairs” at the top are not receiving/taking credit from the lawyers really doing and managing the lion’s share of the work. Some level of research shows that the real working lawyers tend to be predominantly women/POC who are essentially punished by old school origination systems. Thoughts?

likehelpful

MBB fish any advice on nailing a virtual interview? What should candidates do differently (if anything)?

like

What you bank’s common M&A advisory fee check?

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Any tips for a weekend in Toronto?

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Fish ... really need some help with next move. 10 years of experience in the big 4 in the forensic and dispute space. Struggling to move out of here ... industry seems like a pay cut...

Hello,

I am looking for an opportunity. I have experience in Python, FastAPI, Django, Oracle, React JS, BASH, Ansible, Got, and Docker.

If any position is open, I'd like to apply. Currently serving notice period.

Thanks

like

Epam anywhere, Software Engineer, 19.2 LPA, 75k joining bonus, permanent remote.
OR
Nagarro, Assosiate Staff Engineer, 20 LPA, Pune

I'm inclined towards Epam because of remote opportunity.

Does Nagarro has any significant benefit over Epam apart from the difference in package?

like

How do we keep leadership from getting so offended and defensive when we professionally and respectfully flag culturally inappropriate work? Oh, the amount of possible Pepsi moments I’ve prevented!

like

Need some consolation! Lol
I was referred for a Consultant position at Deloitte (Risk Advisory - Climate & Sustainability services). Today, I took the Hudson abstract reasoning test and performed poorly (in my opinion). Is the test deal breaker? Do you think that I still have a chance or I should move on?

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Is it possible to avail a 10 days leave in Barclays within a month of joining due to personal reasons or should I inform the LM before joining?

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Passed interview for Software Engineer Advanced role. 8+ experience in .net c#.
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Additional Posts in LinkedIn Cringe

Calling support… is an accomplishment.

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like

This is an old one but sharing in case anyone missed it back when it was originally posted.

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funnylike

Why are people cropping the name out of these screen shots? LinkedIn’s search is good enough that I can search one line from the post and find their profile immediately. Might as well save me the time…

likefunny

Anyone else hate when people overuse the word “right?” when they speak? - - that’s part of the being a consultant, right, you need to look and sound the part, right, or you won’t be taken serious right.

like

LinkedIn has to end

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funnylike

Any day is a good day to pat yourself on the back. In public. 🤦‍♂️

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funnylike

🥴 more gimmicky than years ago when consulting firms where all trying to advertise that they do “big data”

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like

I’m genuinely angry she’s taking this very serious, sad, deeply personal moment for someone to make it about herself and collect likes

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like

I’m not posting for attention but also GIVE ME ATTENTION!!!!!

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funnylike

There’s a lot to unpack here…🥴

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funnylikeuplifting

Saw this on Twitter

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funny

Made a series of terrible mistakes. Recently took a job at ACN, 2 weeks later I posted the cringiest humblebragy post on LinkedIn and fast forward 2 weeks and I realize that I was bamboozled into taking this job which was horrible mistake to accept.
I look at my LI post with 100s of likes and feel totally ashamed.

funnylike

JOB POSTING

COMPANY NAME

JOB TITLE

ABOUT US

WE are a company who has been around since before you were born. Established last year, we are the EXPERTS in EVERYTHING.

ABOUT YOU

YOU are NOTHING

Job description

-YOU are responsible for all aspects of everything.
-This is not a complete list of duties.

JOB REQUIREMENTS
-10 years of experience doing a skill that takes 30 seconds to learn
-MUST BE A GOOD CULTURAL FIT!!

BENEFITS
NONE

Women are encouraged to apply. We can pay them less.

funnylikesmartuplifting

I think we’re seeing all these posts because LinkedIn “training” is telling people that they should post 3 types of content rotating.

1. Something about your company/product
2. Something about the broader industry you’re in
3. Something personal to you that is still somehow related to your job/industry

I’ve never posted the third type but I’m not a LinkedIn “influencer”

like

How can I get God’s cell phone number?

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funnylike

Wadd up my Cringe-lantes? 😀

like

Honest question. Does LinkedIn give people cancer??

funnylikehelpful

LI equivalent of simping for that Google thirst trap.

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likefunny

Buckle up, incoming cringe bomb. If you are attending Neocon in Chicago, uh, heads up.

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like

Lol so true

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likefunny

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