The partner I work under is extremely toxic and has no boundaries. I work until 9PM and go to bed feeling good about everything, then wake up to multiple emails from her between midnight and 2AM. Our office has high turnover, which has led to me having no staff under me for two years. I do everything and when she offers to help me and I take her up on it she either doesn’t do it or procrastinates until the due daye. Any advice? I’m ready to put in my notice because life is too short for this.

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If you can't work things out between the two of you through dialogue, the I'm sorry to say that you need to start looking for a new job. Unfortunately, there are always going to be people in power who don't have the type of personality to maintain relationships with other human beings.

likesmart

It’s kind of a crazy situation. I didn’t work under her when I first transferred, but when I’d do work for her she’d be so appreciative...give me gift cards, etc. Since we have the same industry focus it made sense for me to be her manager so over the past two years I’ve worked under her. Everything nice stopped at that point. I took all her work away from her and she’s out having an affair, traveling, etc. Never is around to help me and then waits until the last minute to do partner review so I look bad to clients.

At this point I don’t know what can be done. I put my cards on the table last week and told her I can’t handle this anymore and she didn’t have much to say. She’s well aware of the fact that I’m upset about my pay as well. I low key wish I’d get fired every day during the past two busy seasons.

likehelpful

A partner like this is never going to change.

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💯

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How did you know about the affair...

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Juicy

Sorry you have to go through this. I feel like this as a staff :(

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Sounds like the partner I work for. She texts at 2 am expecting updates and on a Friday night. Also texts my associate at 9 pm to get him to log onto make updates until past midnight. Then she reviews the files and blames us for formulas not working when she’s the one who changed the file. Our solution: we’re all looking for new jobs.

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I feel ya. Not all of us want to be accounting robots. I give everything I have to the job and get nothing other than a paycheck in return, which I may add is 20-25% below market.

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I was in a very similar situation and ended up leaving for a new job. It may be worthwhile to try to talk to her about these issues but ultimately people aren't going to change unless they want to and the reality is that many people dont want to. I found that getting a fresh start has helped me tremendously since I took my experience in my old job and used it to set expectations and boundaries from the beginning.

Very sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. Think about what makes the most sense for you but remember that life is too short to let other people treat you like shit

helpful

To add, I charge about double the time any of our other managers charge despite me wanting to focus on business development. If I look back at history it’s always been that it’s just the partner or the partner and a manager working on the industry I specialize in. I transferred to this office for ‘more opportunities’ two years ago and I kinda see why there was more opportunity than my past office.

You work until 9pm? That sounds terrible already. No need to read further - get out now. Why do people think it is okay to work this late?

Why does everyone feel the need to be so toxic? The question was not if OP is working late enough, it’s how to deal with a toxic partner. Not that it’s ANY of our business, but OP could just start early in the morning. Sorry about that OP- I hope it gets better with the partner!

You will feel a weight lift once you put in your 2 weeks notice. Follow your own advice. It’s the last sentence of your post.

Talk to your counselor and staffing and change clients. Been doing this for 25 years and so much long term upside, try making a change before giving up. Partner is clearly taking advantage and your firm would rather have you change clients than leave altogether.

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