{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "The PL on my case makes every feedback feel like a personal attack - not only towards me, but towards everyone else on the team. He is unpredictable and choleric - should I raise this topic in my...", "post_id": "5bfeb83199beec00178a7619", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

The PL on my case makes every feedback feel like a personal attack - not only towards me, but towards everyone else on the team. He is unpredictable and choleric - should I raise this topic in my...

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OP: do not. I’ve been there and it doesn’t help. Not only did it not change his approach, he’s told everyone I’m not open to feedback. My suggestion: raise this to someone else. The partner on your case and your CDA. Let them intervene on your behalf. Good luck

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Some people don’t realize how they come across. I gave really honest upward feedback to a PL about how they were constantly demeaning and belittling and the PL was horrified, asked me for detailed feedback and examples of what he did and what he could have done instead and regularly checked in to see that he was improving. Obviously I got the best case scenario outcome but try to gage their level of lack of self awareness vs actually being a dick. Also, at the end of the case when the partner asked me for upward feedback on the PL I provided full details of how bad things were at the start and how much they had turned around. The partner felt TERRIBLE and told me that I should have reached out to him for him to intervene. So there’s the option of you (and maybe bring one of your teammates who feels the same way) talking to the partner on the case about it. Frame it well - that you value feedback and want to improve but the delivery is toxic.

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... feedback session and tell him how I feel when he talks to me like that or should I just grow a thicker skin? Any experiences?

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Thank you! I am just usually a person who raises interpersonal problems immediately to solve them right away, but this might not be the right thing to do here.

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BCG 1, I would legit love to see how you documented and tracked to provide evidence in a health way. I’m not being sarcastic, but I’m in a situation and it takes some kind of commitment to provide healthy examples gathered over time to prove your experience

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Agree with BCG1 above. Consider how this feedback could be received. Can you role play with someone else on the team to practice approaches? Ultimately, they need to know to improve. Perhaps asking in a moment/example of this behavior and saying “oh, that made me feel bad when xyz was said. I’ll gladly make this change, but could you ask without the personal attack next time?” Or something breezy and light rather than an intervention.

How do they make it feel like a personal attack?

Sharing how you perceive his behavior and how it makes you feel is also sometimes helpful. Our’s is a feedback driven culture and consequences are high, so very little chance for your PL to react the wrong way. Even if he does, things will be documented by PTO, partner etc., so do not worry about sharing. You are only doing your PL a favor, so his loss if he doesn’t take it that way. I am a PL who is dealing with a Principal who treats me and the team pretty badly (though unconsciously maybe). Partner really helped me frame that conversation of how I/ team perceived it. After things didn’t change and issues started bubbling up on several forums, more direct action was taken by Partner and PTO. We also believe there is an ongoing values violation talk. Treating fellow BCGers with respect no matter what pressure and stress you are under OR even if the other person is an under-performer is a must. It’s the most basic thing expected of all of us. Your gut is right if you are feeling that way, you should share it.

MC1 I didn’t do any formal documentation but I spoke with my teammates on a near daily basis about all of our frustrations and how he could have handled things so differently. So from the constant dialogue with everyone other than my PL it wasn’t hard to recall numerous examples and alternative solutions since they had already been discussed.

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