There are coworkers I really like and am friends with but I still give them brutally honest reviews that are borderline scathing. Helpful or mean?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Soften your approach before you lose your friends. It’s possible to give constructive feedback without it bordering on scathing.

like

Are they that bad? Then you're doing them a favor. Everyone is so scared of not being liked that we're all just saying what we think people want to hear. Break the cycle 👊

like

Based on how you describe your actions and the fact that you are even asking if this is helpful or mean is a sign you could improve your emotional intelligence. If you are honestly asking if your approach is appropriate, I’d suggest keeping the review environment professional and productive, no matter what your friendly relationship is. Review time and feedback, in my experience, are rare, serious times for employees, many of whom hang their happiness and personal growth outlook on it. Always start with some things they’re doing well. If it’s hard to find those things, maybe they’re not right for the job, but being chummy around the office then scathing in a review would seem to me that I couldn’t really trust you.

like

Wow. Give them the most intense honesty in person, so they have a chance at correcting it. Putting things in the worst terms on record for HR is not helpful. HR reads reviews knowing that some people temper negative feedback because they like their peers. Even when I was having huge issues with a colleague, I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to talk to HR about it, and even then it was hard to do when you have empathy for your coworker. Also, think about this: How would you feel if your feedback got back to the other person as written? Are you being fair and showing consideration of their situation? If not, you’ll shoot yourself in the foot because these people will not want to work with you, let alone be your friend.

like

Disagree with the above. I think it’s great and helpful. If they are a friend but Work needs to be improved you gotta step in and let them know. They’ll thank you later

Related Posts

like

Anyone here able to give me some insight into the FBI SA job? 2 years ago I went through the process and stopped after being offered the phase 2 interview (life was...happening).
I am thinking of applying again, however I just had a kid so I’m trying to see if it’s reasonable to have a family while being an SA. Any insight or opinions are welcomed!

like

New to this bowl, so sorry if asking for candidacy opinions is annoying. I'm considering PT Booth or Kellogg, and wondering if I'd be competitive. 2.5 YOE consulting at T2/T3 firm. 3.89 GPA from larger state school and received BS in Accounting and a BS in Finance. Lack luster extracurriculars / community involvement. Am a CPA and have passed CFA I. GMAT range will most likely be 650 to 700ish, but haven't take it yet.

Anything that I should focus on before applying?

like

How much of racism would evaporate if wealth inequality were eliminated?

likefunny

Anyone transferred from consulting into government “industry”? Just curious to experiences. I’d assume WLB is better with worth pay. Also curious about how you got the job! Thanks :)

like

Any Cornell students here able to share a bit about the competitiveness of the work experience and ECs you’ve seen within your admitted cohort?

like

Have any moms received ridiculous career advice from their MD or career advisor?

like

I started dating this guy some months before covid struck.. he was literally crazy about me. He even stayed in Hyderabad for months just so that we could meet once before he went on to stay with his family. After that it had been a real roller coaster. He pampered me a lot before and now he hardly talks. We both have switched to different companies (earlier were in the same) and now he works 6 days a week. Sleeps or Vists his relatives or works on Sundays. Sometimes I feel he no longer loves me.

like
like

Anyone here had success in purchasing a book? If so, would love to hear about transaction and how it went.

like
like
likehelpful

Currently a marketing designer - any particular skills needed to branch into a visual designer role?

like

When is the best time to get out of consulting?

like

iso: an elementary math curriculum that works remotely! We just switched to eureka and it’s kind of a nightmare from a special ed perspective (but if it’s working for you/your kids share your wisdom!). We are fully remote - does anyone have any suggestions that work remotely? Easy to differentiate and navigate?

like

Very good. Unique finish of banana and caramel. Enjoying in my new glass courtesy of Santa🎅

Post Photo
like

Just started working out again at the beginning of the month. Haven't been able to see changes in the mirror or on the scale, but when I started I could barely do one reverse lunge without wobbling over and now I can do a whole set without assistance! Feeling so motivated!

likeuplifting

Can some one refer me for finance transformation role at Deloitte?

like

Film industry fishies! After covid, what is the average of projects your company handles each year?

like

Additional Posts in Advertising Confessions

Congrats to whoever got their client to sign off on this risky but awesome idea in an nyc bar

Post Photo
like

I confess that I confessed to confessing about confessing.

like

I have ptsd from a terrible accident where two people died. I nearly died myself. Every time one of you says you got ptsd from a difficult project or bad client, I want to scream.

like

How much do you charge your nightly rate when you sleep with your CD’s wife? Round up to 30 min’s or bill 69 just for fun.

likefunny

I am tired of people not doing their jobs. No matter the level, the department. People slacks tons and expect you to problem-solve all the time. It’s exhausting.

likefunny

Definitely have a crush on my AD

like

Already thinking about lunch, anyone else?

likefunny

Anyone know what happened w the Ogilvy CCO? Adweek was cryptic as hell and I’m just being nosey :)

like

1. I’m a pandemic hire at this new agency and I like it enough, but I feel SO detached from all these humans I’ve never interacted with IRL… like, I just don’t give a flying fuck about these team-building zoom calls. :(

2. My boyfriend and I often just go off cam / mute during the more useless meetings and have sex instead. I secretly hope everyone who is muted/cam off in meetings is getting some action.

likefunny

Why are most TV ads so loud and annoying? I don’t need loud music, yelling and screaming and obnoxious sound effects. Whoever is doing and approving these ads sucks

likefunny

In he past week I’ve gotten responses that say I’m over qualified or not qualified enough. Figure it out industry.

like

What to do when you don’t know what you want to do next? ☹️

likehelpful

I hope every day that the assholes that fired me for bullshit reasons (other than my salary was too high and they were awful managers and worse people) would perish in flames.

like

I honestly save hundreds of dollars a month just by eating leftover food from client and team meetings for lunch and dinner.

likefunnysmartuplifting

Shut it down.

like

But no confessions

like

Me: time for bed!
Brain at 2am: do you know what your biggest mistake was this year?
Me: no, what?
Brain at 2am: ...
Me: no, what?!?!
Brain at 2am: let's just review them all, shall we?

likefunny

Was talking a friend abt emerging tech trends and he asked me “what do you think about voice as the new search?” I found that somewhat dubious and asked him where he came across that idea. His reply: “Have you ever heard of Gary Vaynerchuck?”

funnylike

I think I’m over paying for internet but I’m addicted to Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, Disney+, texting, TikTok, Instagram, LinkedIn...f*ck Facebook.... Twitch, Spotify, SoundCloud, e-mail, Zoom, and all the other shit I gotta do for work online. Help.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal