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Enthusiast
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Grant Thornton, kuch karke dikhao
What exactly is Deloitte hybrid model????
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Pro
Just get divorced. No one wants to grow up in a home where their parents are unhappy.
Have you ever drunk Bailey's from a shoe?
Have you tried marriage counseling?
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100%. I'm ready to compromise and have a lot.
The list of compromise sought from me keeps on increasing. At this point it's become a non equitable compromising.
Rising Star
Divorce and co-parent/be civil.
Chief
Get a babysitter every week for a date night. Put in the extra effort on a consistent basis. Rotate weeks on the planning and arrangements. Try to get to where you were in the beginning. Divorce is the last resort. Weekend parenting is awful from what I have seen. Don’t listen to the throw in the towel easily crowd. You have to see your kid cry, they don’t.
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D1 I'm not saying she's at fault 100%. I'm sure I'm at fault too. Let's say she prefers to cut a pie square and I prefer it sliced in triangles. There was love but incompatibly in a lot of things which either were not realized during the dating period or were overlooked thinking love alone is enough.
Chief
Just divorce if it’s clearly over. What would be the point of anything else?
Rising Star
Same as all above. Wouldn't you want your kid to grow up on a home with parents who love each other? If its parent and stepparent so be it
Your kids don’t deserve parents who don’t love each other. Do you want your kid to absorb your negative energy!
Rising Star
Seeing these type of post a lot lately. So many emotionally broken people these days 😔. As someone who stuck around a pretty bad marriage for 17 year (mostly because of money and kids), you need to either sort it out with your wife or work on a proper exit strategy. Or else you will become resentful and depressed. That means don’t just bail on your kid.
Now, if you talk to your wife and she is cool with an open marriage then that might be another route. I have no experience with that (nor would I want it) but I know some people who it works for but it should be something that is discussed with your wife and always keep your kid’s safety in mind. I have known people who let dangerous people into their home. Not saying that you would, just be cautious.
Rising Star
OP, personally I do not like the idea of an open marriage. However, I don’t judge people who do it. It’s just not for me. I hope you can work out some kind of arrangement with your wife. I speak from experience but sticking around when there is no love left will slowly eat away your soul. After 17 years, I was depressed and apathetic towards everything.
Divorce is easier on kids the younger they are. Divorce is also easier when both parties agree things are over and the split is amicable. I’m not saying don’t try to fix but if your child is the only thing keeping you together then just get divorced while things are amicable and come up with 50-50 custody schedule. Divorces are a mess when one person is caught cheating. And if it’s bad now you won’t make it until your kid is 18. I mean, I know people who got divorced when kids were in college and the kids were still all upset and pissed. It’s better when they’re little. And kids deserve to live in a happy home.
Enthusiast
If this is what you are looking for already, why this post?
Rising Star
OP, how would you nurture a happy relationship if you guys are like this? How do vacations work, Thanksgiving get togethers, meeting in laws / grand parents?
I mean the question is- with the relationship as it is, is status quo really good for the child; or are you just assuming it is?
Rising Star
I think it makes sense to find time and lay out to your wife the cost of your situation on the child.
As they grow older they will feel these things.
My parents separated before I can remember and it was for the best. While it would be wrong to say you should divorce, given that you've tried everything it certainly is something to consider.
Pro
If your wife is so solid on staying for the kid, then she better start being a better wife for the kid. Otherwise the impression she'll leave on him will be much much worse. Or divorce.
I’m sorry. That’s really sad.. How do you think you ended up there?
Rising Star
Dude, respect each other enough and get a divorce if neither of you want in anymore. There’s no point to a paper marriage except setting a shit example for your kid.
OP- my parents were arranged. They grew to love each other but can’t really say they’re a good fit.
It kills me to know my mother will die without knowing what love is or what it’s like to be courted and romanced.
My mom tells me never to get married and to live alone and happy. If this is what you want for your child, your continued path will get you there.
Just that your child is very much affected, even if you stay together
Rising Star
Do you want to stay married to her? Sounds like you’ve already checked out…
Conversation Starter
Sort of.
I think it’s the respect aspect that changes the tone of the situation most. Anything good to say?
Conversation Starter
Not really. Nothing bad to say as well. Just indifferent