{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Thinking about staying married but living a separate life because we have a kid. So technically , being roommates until we can figure out what to do next. Pros and cons ?", "post_id": "61abb459351749002fbfb461", "reply_count": 31, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "5e8656b80bdab1002a7355dc", "bowl_name": "Confession " }

Thinking about staying married but living a separate life because we have a kid. So technically , being roommates until we can figure out what to do next. Pros and cons ?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Go ahead. I am not married but in my mid 20’s, from my experience speak to your partner and do whatever makes happy for both of you but whatever decision you make, make sure your kid did-not effect from this!!

likefunny

This sounds like a good premise for a rom-com.

Recent IconRecent

Please just leave. My parents did this for as long as I can remember … I’ve never seen them hug or kiss, they only talk bills, they sleep in separate rooms and when they have to sleep in the same room because a guest is in town they put a pillow between them. I don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like.. For the sake of the kid, leave and find a loving partner

likesmart

Sc1 yup , agree.

Your kid will be able to tell that things aren’t good between you and may be worse off than if you can amicably split/divorce.

like

Have you heard of mediators ? They are way cheaper than lawyers and can help split assets

like

Kids prefer kids staying under the same room, irrespective of life's ups and downs. Seems like you both are rational about this. Best wishes.

likesmart

My parents did this for… basically years.

like

My parents did this as well. I was always envious of other kids parents and how they could be a family, but mine weren’t. I think it affected my siblings and I in different ways, and probably not all good. None of us want kids and my siblings can’t have healthy relationships with their SOs. I have a firm belief that parents should still separate and show how happiness works for different people for their kids. My parents stayed together until the summer of my college graduation and I was the youngest. The reason being my dad passed away from a heart attack.

like

Do not do this. A friend of mine just tried for the past 2 years and two genuinely good people had the worst brought out in them. And the child suffered. Kids are smarter and more perceptive than many realize and it’s cleaner and healthier to just be honest with them. I’m a child of divorce and my siblings and I were relieved when our parents got divorced bc we could tell they were just putting on a front for us and it was unnatural. Also agree with others re having your own life. I’m dating someone who is divorced with kids and he is the most amazing man and I have great relationships with his children.

like

You rob yourself and your spouse if a life. Why not come up with an amicable separation instead?

like

It’s not easy for sure. In our case we came up with amicable terms for my parents. But there was a toxic situation from 3 decades+ of a marriage so plenty of baggage from that. If plinth parents prioritize the childrens happiness vs getting even at each other, coming up with acceptable terms is totally possible. If it’s being “fought” it can take 5-10 years and is very bad on the kids. Most important is to not have parents berate each other with the kids. That is the WORST for them. You have to stay very atrong

This is a great question. Kids first!

like

Related Posts

New employer’s parental leave policy is silent on whether you have to return to work for a certain period after the leave in order to avoid having to pay back to leave. Are pay back clauses common?

like

The culture around PTO on my 6-7 person team is one where: 1) no one (besides me) takes more than 1-2 days off a year, 2) people frequently brag about how little time off they take…”I only took one day off for my child being born”, 3) people make comments that I’m “always on vacation” (in the last 2.5 years working at my company, I’ve taken cumulatively ~4 weeks off). Team workflow is deal-based so it’s difficult to plan in advance for taking time off as deals often come up unexpectedly. Cont…

like

Hey all, when would you say is a good time to inform your direct manager of your upcoming parental leave? Wife is expecting but not sure when I should tell my boss so we can plan on transitioning / back filing before I’m out. Thoughts please?

like

How do you feel about putting on hold your family expansion plans because of a recent promotion? Do you think it’s a normal thing to do? And if so, how long is the normal waiting period? Knowing that the parental leave is about 6 months!

like

Dads with older children: while raising your children, did your children prefer their moms over you? I know some will prefer dads over moms, but I assume majority of children out there will prefer their moms over dads… I have one child and it kinda hurts to see my child always preferring the mom over me. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I just do. How did you cope with such issue raising your children?

like

Anyone have tips on culturally relevant (read Black) parent podcasts or parent preparation programs? I’m looking for something similar to New Mom Boss but for us

Thinking of getting a Black Baby Alive doll for my daughter. Preferably one that talks and moves, but there seems to be so many. Any suggestions?

like

Today is my first day back at work (and first full day back in my physical office) after a few weeks off for parental leave. Needless to say, I am struggling to stay focused on anything other than wanting to go back home to my spouse and child. I know I shouldn't take an emotional temperature on day one, but it has been more difficult being back than I anticipated. Any tips for navigating the waters for the first day/week/month back?

like

Did anyone disappoint their parent(s) when deciding to work in advertising?

like

I am getting ready to send my 2 year old toddler to a toddler program next week for the first time. Have to fill out a form “bathroom waiver”, which is basically allowing teachers at the school to clean my child after a potty, including genital area. I feel uneasy about this but I know I have to let them… I assume all parents have signed such waiver?

I’m at the point that I start trembling every time I get an email alert. It’s the little things piling up that is getting to me. The to do list full of, “send emails to X about Y,” “follow-up re this,” “revise the 100 small things the baby lawyer drafted.” Tasks that might take 15 minutes to an hour individually, but all together it’s a lot. I’m the bottle neck. I’m the one who needs to move these things along. But there’s always something bigger and more urgent. Nothing’s ever FINISHED.

like

My wife and I need a break. Had our first baby in March and we are worn out (getting better) but very tired. Wife said to me “I need us time”, and she’s never said that in the 3 years we’ve been married. Suggestions on getaways or things to do?

Hi , I am working as an Contractor at Zs Associates from my parent company HCL technologies. As per offer letter my probation period is 12 months and notice period is 3 months.I want to switch to another organization but they need someone who can join early. There is anything I can ask HCL technologies to early release me ? Thanks

McK and BCG 🐟, do you all accrue tenure while you’re on parental leave? If so, how much?

like

SIL is having a baby shower and I can’t make it - ideas on things I can get delivered the day of that you think would be a nice gesture (in addition to baby registry items).

like

Is it fair for divorced parents to take up two parent/teacher conference slots? I don’t think it is. I would love to hear your thoughts about this and how it os handled at different schools.

What is Accenture's parental leave policy..

like

New mom here - ways to overcome/cope the guilt of missing work when kid is sick or missing baby when baby is sick and focusing on work ?

likehelpful

Happy Saturday! All week 3 challenges due by 9pm to qualify for prizes!Here's a final GUESS WHO for the wk. This person auditioned for Up With People when he/she was 20 and was selected to tour around the world with them for a year. He/She would perform for groups and events held at the civic center solo, as a child. He/She would sing and dance at these events. He/She also won 1st place state UIL in poetry reading. This person loves to "roll" with whatever comes his/her way!

Post Photo
like

Hey family-Has anyone gone with a pediatrician who didn’t have hospital rights to do the exam at birth? Context: first baby, high risk pregnancy (blood pressure), in northern Dallas suburbs but delivering in Dallas proper; strongly prefer a doctor of the diaspora (my OB is black; we want our son to see black excellence all around), but those in the suburbs tend not to have rights in hospitals in Dallas proper

Additional Posts

How do you know when it’s time to find a new job? I love what I do, my coworkers, and my clients, but I keep thinking that there’s something more out there. Mostly thinking of more money and title bump

like

Anyone in Chicago taken the in-person test? I can’t find dates for like april

like

Accepted an offer earlier this month, with planned start date mid February, at public high growth software company. Meanwhile I’m still going through interview process with a unicorn start up and should wrap up this week. If I get a second offer, what are the consequences of reneging on the first offer?

like

A senior person in my org who I don't know, mailed me with "Hi <my last name>" asking for some help. I replied back with "Hi <requester's last name>, how can I help? Never heard back from this person.

funnylike

What ever happened to Big Fuel? Their name just popped up and I was shocked they were still around.

like

DM me for Job referrals at Accenture for following critical skills.

Post Photo
like

Did you do anything different leading up the transfer / any advice on what to expect, i.e. exercise habits, limiting caffeine, etc.? I have the saline ultrasound this week, (hoping it's not as bad as the HSG), then I hope I'm cleared to start prepping!

like

Any good resource to learn about school systems in a practical way? Grew up in India have a toddler, and kind of new to the education here, for ex. Recently found out that if you move neighborhoods you don’t need to change charter school but have to change public school.

like

My newborn is supposed to go to the pediatrician to get vaccinated at 6 weeks old, which is next week. What to do? I live in a high risk area in California. Big deal if I delay getting these shots?

like

I am going to receive an offer from accenture should i chose to move from kpmg(kgs) to accenture. Please suggest.

like

Thank you bitcoin gang..It was not possible without you!!!!!

Post Photo
like

What is AA round at microsoft? What questions they can ask in AA round?

I regret taking a promotion to become exempt/salary. The amount of freedom I had prior to the accepted role I took for granted and now I'm kicking myself in the butt.

like

Is mega backdoor Roth truly going away by Jan. 1, 22?

like

How often do you all deal with conflicts at work? I feel like my current job isn’t a good fit but also early in my career so I don’t know if the daily annoyances are just normal.

like

Why do I constantly feel like Sandra Bullock in the movie “Gravity” working in audit or “Bird Box” trying to stay sane going down the river completely blindfolded while crazy lunatics succeed in Big4?

funny

Any intel on PW’s NYC finance team?

like

Hi Everyone, I need 11 likes to activate DMs. Need to reach out to a few people here. Please help! Thanks.

likehelpful

What are the key differences between a CD, GCD and ECD?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal