Related Posts
Additional Posts in Big Law
Reasons to use Lexis over Westlaw?
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Reasons to use Lexis over Westlaw?
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
Download the Fishbowl app to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Copy and paste embed code on your site
Send download link to your phone
OR
Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. First piece of advice: no shame in asking for help. There are a lot of lawyers who would tell you they regret not starting therapy at an earlier sign of a problem than when they finally started going. If you’ve been feeling depressed, and especially if this is a recurring problem, I think you should talk to someone.
Second, you don’t have to be best friends with anybody. Don’t put pressure on yourself to pal around with everyone. It’s perfectly appropriate (and maybe even smarter) to just be friendly with everyone. Go to coffee with people, go to happy hours (don’t drink a lot, and give yourself a limit if you’re inclined to drink more when you’re uncomfortable), just let yourself get to know people.
I know it sounds silly but the social stuff is important. Watching you interact with peers and coworkers is how partners start to evaluate whether they feel comfortable one day including you in their valuable client relationships. I’m not saying that to add pressure, but to highlight why there’s value in trying to get along with people even if you’re not on a group chat with the other summer associates all day or hanging out with them all weekend.
Also know that a lot of people (and lawyers) struggle with social anxiety. You really are not alone and I bet if you look you’ll find young associates at the firm who you can totally relate to in this way. Hint: for obvious reasons they likely are not the associates that show up to every summer event—but that doesn’t mean they’re unfriendly.
Be sure to go to therapy and keep with it. It will not only help you handle the stress in firm life (simply because you have to talk to who will not then turn around and tell someone else), it will teach how to handle you fine life with your personal life. As someone who has, it is beyond worth it.
Hi - you absolutely need to go to these events. Do not listen to anyone who says otherwise. Firms are looking to make sure you’re a good “fit”. They will appreciate your effort and as a lawyer you will be in many many uncomfortable positions throughout your career. It’s your professional “job” to learn how to handle these situations. You can do it!!!! Really. I know that feeling, it’s a lie! Don’t let your head trick ya. :)
Hi OP. With time you’ll see there is an extraordinary amount of introvert lawyers in Biglaw.
I hate to be the one telling you this but this is a field where all the technical talent in the world isn’t enough if you don’t have the social skills to match.
Do your best, seek help, make an effort to put on a happy face at all of these events. I could give you a list with dozens of partners I know who are not technically brilliant but are good with people. I know precisly 1 who is admittedly an introvert.
A1, yes but you have to get hired first for them to actually assess that. It may not be fair but if it’s a big class looking to cut someone, the summer associate who doesn’t show up to events that no one knows is more likely to get cut. Going to the summer events is as much a part of the job as the legal work.
There’ll be plenty of other ppl to meet who don’t go to your LS. Keep in mind that a lot of ppl will be coming from schools where there’s one or two summers max. Don’t sweat it, just relax. I predict you’ll end up enjoying at least some of it!
And for what it’s worth, I find ppl who trumpet how important it is to be ‘social’ to make a successful career in law to be hopelessly awkward folk who would legitimately struggle to socialize their way out of a paper bag.
Law is full of introverts.
Law is full of unpopular introverts, and I’m sure you will find people in your summer class you can be friendly with. I wasn’t friends with the other SAs from my school before I started but we became friends over the summer. I would not worry about it this early. The events are designed to give you something to do/talk about and you will find your people.
You’re likely not the only one who feels this way in your summer class. Hopefully you can find another introvert and agree to attend social events together. That way, neither of you feel awkward when you have to engage with each other or others.
You don’t have to go to them. If you are socially anxious and just want to do the legal work, I’m sure the firm would be ok with that.
If this isn’t medically diagnosed, it’s incredibly easy for this to be misinterpreted as someone who think’s they’re better than other people, don’t care about their work or firm or something worse.
I’ll be pretty honest: no one likes someone who is there just “to do their job”.
So you are going to be a summer associate in a class of 15 ppl from various schools? Or from the same school?
Holy crap that's a lot. But yeah, remember you will be at work, and you will find someone to hang with. Don't stress it.
Have u tried meditating?
Make other friends. Whenever a bunch of strangers are put together, it’s easy to make friends early on. (I.e., think about starting law school/college/high school - were you worried about making friends? Did you?)