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This is NOT ok. Sorry you are dealing with this. I agree — document and report!
Agreed with the folks above about documenting, but would add — to me, this is egregious enough and sensitive enough that I also think you should consult with a lawyer, immediately. This goes well beyond “microaggressions or sexism we report to HR.” I’m so, so sorry this happened to you. This is horrible and totally unfair. Hope you’re okay and please be kind to yourself.
Rising Star
Tell HR. Document everything. Also I’m so sorry.
Enthusiast
What a bizarre series of wildly inappropriate comments masquerading as backhanded compliments.
Serious question: is your boss by chance on the spectrum?
Literally was about to ask the same thing
Reminds me of a time 30 years ago when my solo practitioner boss asked me to have sex with him. I was smart enough to tell him that was disgusting to ask (while I played it off as a joke), but I was too young and naïve to file any kind of complaint against him with either the bar or the courts. It was still very much a legal man’s world at the time, and I was afraid to make waves in the community where many lawyers knew each other and I did not want to tag myself as someone others might be afraid to hire. I have always regretted that decision. In my next firm a few years later, when a partner said something sexual and inappropriate, I immediately went to those in charge (all men at the time), and they were horrified and completely backed me up. I actually don’t think I’ve ever seen them that angry before. I wanted to make sure that it never happened again to any other young women. It never did - and I know because I am now one of the owners of the firm! My point in sharing my story is to encourage all women to come forward when someone senior crosses boundaries.  there is tremendous support in the legal community to try to stop these dirtbags.
Agree 1000% . As an owner, I'd want to know this is going on and end it. For the individual as well as the silent others it's likely happened to since this is rarely a one off.
Thank you all for the feedback, the comments, the advice, and the story sharing. This is not the first time this has happened, but it is the first time I have been unable to let it go. I think so often we are taught to just let it go. And that’s not ok either. I fully intend to say something, and then to move onto another job.
Good, your boss is classless and rude. No one deserves this.
What the actual F....get out of there, OP!
Bowl Leader
Agree he sounds mega creepy and inappropriate!
I’m so 😢 sorry. It amazes me how many people in the legal profession are either this clueless or this brazen.
EEEEEEWWWWW. Tell other people you work with BEFORE going to HR. This is the key. You need other people to know. Remember, HR isn't there for your benefit, they are there for the firm. The only way to protect yourself is to tell other people you work with who you trust. I also recommend talking to a friend in employment law if you have one. they can help guide you. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I had an attorney tell me to blow him this year and I went through the HR "investigation process". I had told my assistant and another female attorney before I talked to HR and it was the absolute right move.
Document everything. Put it in an email to HR. Then give HR a call informing them that you’ve sent an email. Then follow up on your email saying that you’ve confirmed that they received the email via a call. This is outrageous
Eewww this is not OK! Sorry this happened to you OP
Rising Star
Woooow. No. Unacceptable. I agree. Document, report. And start looking for a new job.
When you find another job and give notice, be sure to tell him that you would have stayed, but you don’t think he’s beautiful enough for that.
HR
Ew
100% report. New job. WTAF. I’m sorry that you have to be the person to educate him re: lawful workplace conduct.
Perv.....
Pro
R U N
Don’t know size of your firm and HR but if you can and feel comfortable I would urge directly bringing it up with the guy so he can hear directly from you that is was not appreciated and not acceptable. Then follow up with brief email to document. I know that can be hard or impossible given power dynamics at work. The law on harassment is stacked for employers in many jurisdictions where even when friends and peers see something so inappropriate a court may not find it unlawful (assuming you were fired or demoted or felt the enviro was hostile to have a claim arise). Plus he might grovel and cower or apologize which he should do.
This sounds super gross and weird. New job time!