This is just to vent. I’ve been dating this guy for a couple of months. Our last date ended well, but then he asked me to go to his place. I didn’t because I wasn’t ready, he seemed quite frustrated. I thought his frustration was unwarranted and told him I think we should get to know each other a little better. We kissed and made out a little we have another date approaching tomorrow but I saw that he updated his dating app photos. I honestly feel sick and hurt.

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Either he’s not serious or you aren’t. Three dates in two months isn’t a good sign, shows lack of initiative. Him getting frustrated that you don’t want to escalate in intimacy is also a red flag.

Maybe his frustration is due to a lack of reassurance on your end, or maybe he just wants to get his rocks off and he’s finding you difficult.

Also, if y’all aren’t exclusive, he has every right to update his profile. I wouldn’t internalize it because I would assume he’s seeing other people anyway, which is likely because y’all haven’t been going out together consistently.

And lastly, do not sleep with him. If you’re already hurt that he updated his profile, you’re going to be sad af if you hook up and he ghosts.

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Spot on PM2!

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2 months, only 3 dates, and no intimacy? This is quite a slow burn by modern standards. I'd be updating my app pics too if I were him. I recommend you do the same.

There's still hope, but both of you should try to see each other weekly to more quickly evaluate if this is a potential match or not.

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If you are interested in him then you should initiate a date and not wait around for a man to ask you.

A couple months of dating without going to a guys place is crazy… he should’ve binned your faster, no disrespect OP.

Most guys would’ve already got rid of you

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Yes lol he got me sprung low key. Hope this works out because I ain’t trying to alone this cold winter ❄️🥶

I'm sorry that you're hurt by this situation. Seeing each other 3 times over the course of two months is casual enough that I would assume he's been seeing other people in that time. And you should be seeing other people too. It seems like the connection wasn't strong enough for you to be intimate or exclusive.

Forgive the metaphor, but think of it like recruiting: you found a suitable candidate who wanted to jump right into salary negotiation after 3 interviews, whereas you still wanted him to go through more rounds of interviews before you made him an offer; of course he's still sending out his resume and applying for other roles...you should be looking at multiple candidates too (and maybe interviewing more efficiently)

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After 2 months of “dating” you can initiate a date. I don’t understand waiting for him to initiate. A man can still court even if you say “hey let’s do x”.

Also, if you like someone, tell them. Now this guy you have may not be as serious as you want him to be.

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I initiated after the 2nd!

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I mean there’s nothing wrong with him continuing to date if you two haven’t committed to becoming exclusive / serious

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He’s now reopened for business 🤷🏾‍♂️

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Lmao

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What happened?

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lmaooooo son said it’s a big city

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if you didn’t want to go, then you didn’t want to go and that’s totally fine 👌🏽.
If he’s not ok with that, then you know where you stand and what he actually wants 🤷🏽‍♀️

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How many dates? Have you never been to his home/had him over at yours? Are you 2 in an official relationship?

I’m glad you dodged this bullet.

Frustrated? Because you said “no”? Nah sis.

Sounds like emotional manipulation to coercion. From there, force is a likelihood.

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So should I just cancel our date today?

I’m on the app because he hasn’t taken me off the market yet lol. However he already paid for the date so I’ll attend and have a good time and like you mentioned have the conversation with him

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