{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "This is my life. I haven’t stepped back (partly because I don’t want to lose the autonomy and independence making a good salary gives me) but man I feel the rub so much more than my husband does.\n\nhttps://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/26/upshot/women-long-hours-greedy-professions.html", "post_id": "5cc337dad8904000211255fc", "reply_count": 10, "vote_count": 9, "bowl_id": "5976222cab932800101a9ca4", "bowl_name": "Women in Advertising" }
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The part where she talks about how he can decide to work late or travel and never even has to give a thought to who will take care of the kids made me cry just because it made me realize how heavy the weight of that constant worry is on me

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Emotional labor is REAL and I remind my husband every day. He definitely seems to appreciate that fact but it doesn’t shift the burden really.

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Thank you for posting this article. I would not have been able to have kids and ascend the ranks if husband hand a similarly demanding job. I say similarly because while his job is demanding it’s in a different way. He can’t ever work remotely and it’s rare for him to be able to take days off if the kids are sick. However he has set in office hours and never has to travel. If he has to work late it’s with plenty of notice. We therefore have struck a nice balance but it wasn’t without some bumps and painful conversations. I realize how lucky I am when women on my team feel like they have to jettison their careers “because he makes more”. Ultimately I get it, living and raising children in the northeast is so damned expensive what can we do?

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This is my life too. I know the men in my life don’t want this lack of balance either. In a world where a lot of jobs will be automated, isn’t it our responsibility to say no to long hours so that companies appropriately staff and we allow more people to have meaningful work?

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When I was married, I did it all with the house and kid. I also always worked jobs or gigs that allowed me to be a mom first. Now I’m finally in my first ad job in my late 30s, relying on alimony to live decently since I’m a junior, and thus, combatting self-esteem issues all the time. I usually forget how much freedom I gave my ex so that he could always do what he wanted. Since I always had creative passions that he helped support, it somehow made that into the scapegoat of me being now older and broke, as opposed to me choosing creative passions as my “work” since they allowed me to do them around my kid’s schedule and needs. God, I feel like such a loser most days now and am trying to create a career with all odds against me while still playing “mom” (at least it’s part time now).

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This resonates strongly with me too. I actually have higher earning potential than my husband who works in community health but between the two of us, I had the opportunity to take a flexible role that pays far less than market because of the work from home advantages it has. So therefore I am the primary caregiver. Plus even though he got a hefty raise when I got pregnant and my salary has stagnated since having our first son, our salaries are now equal and our family suffers from the financial impacts.

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It’s the reverse in my household, like PS2. I’m the breadwinner, my husband has more of a fixed schedule, He can’t work from home or work beyond his scheduled hours. We split a lot of things - knowing that my availability often takes priority. I definitely feel more pressure to be “present” at work - even when i’m not physically there - given the “greediness” of my job. This on top of the pulls of being the mama and the exhausting emotional labor is, well. a fuckton.

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I had to reset expectations at home and am continuing to communicate my needs. Let me know in a direct message if you want examples to help

Yep - My life too. My husband does do a lot at home, actually, but the fact remains that kids have to be picked up, taken to appointments,etc- I can’t just choose to stay past 5;30 most days. And you both can’t travel at the same time without advance planning. Someone’s career has to take at least a (slight) backseat. We are transitioning to an au pair to see if that is something that will work for us. DM me if you want to talk more

Interesting. I’m starting to wonder about an au pair!

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Business analyst position at JPMC same as a business analyst in consulting?

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Any thoughts on getting a degree from Harvard Extension School? I’m thinking of getting a grad degree in Management Info Systems instead of getting an MBA

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None of my Zoom meetings have been hacked or compromised, do the hackers think im ugly ?

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So with the unlimited PTO move - is EY now the new KPMG?

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Has anyone taken disability leave, and then used it to look for jobs? How does this work legally?

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