This is personal. My ex is a med student and she is compulsively on this bowl. It started 3 months ago when I was invited for interviews with a top boutique and then with M and B. Night after night we butt heads and went through case prep, pei prep in constant stress and struggle. I couldn’t have asked for better coaching and support. It paid off. This week I got an offer from M but I also lost my gf. She’s been in pain resisting her parents - her mom can’t accept someone who is not in medicine.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Do you want this girl or not? She sounds phenomenal. To think she spent time prepping with you, while managing med school and getting even an ounce of sleep. Damn, she amazing!

If you do, you'll do whatever it takes to win her and her parents over. If she won't marry you without their blessing, then do whatever they need to feel comfortable. Pay stubs, trajectory, whatever. In the big picture, they are just scared and worried about their baby and want the best for her.
Once you get her, make an effort to make your MIL proud of you. This will only strengthen your marriage long term, since your gf seems to lean on them emotionally.

likehelpful

Sad thing is, your career earnings will probably surpass most doctors

like

Many don't get how good a career consulting, esp MBB, is. Sounds like the parents are those people.

like

They’ve never heard of consulting in their lives.

like

As someone with first generation East Asian parents and first generation East Asian in-laws, don’t waste your time with someone whose parents have made up their mind not to like you. That is unless both you and your partner are ok with completely being cut off from them

likefunny

This will sound brutal but did you throw out any numbers? My parents were pressuring me to be a doctor, professor, or SWE right up until I got my McK offer and they looked up comp numbers lol

like

Yeah Chinese immigrants are drawn to money, status, and stability. MBB consulting definitely checks the first two and the brand takes care of the third.

like

If I may ask, are you Chinese.
Because from the place where I see, it may not be 100% about being non-med.

Because, reasonably her parents would have Googled (or Baidued) MBB compensation and stuff like that.

If you're not Chinese, I think it has to do with race.
Race penchancy is common in Asian culture.

likefunny

Honestly, if it’s that easy for your ex gf’s mother to control her life like that, it might be best to move on. This is a huge red flag in my opinion. You can try to let her mother know why consulting is worth it, but if she is being unreasonable AND your ex allows her to do so, that sort of toxicity does not bode well for the rest of your life. Imagine getting married and needing to deal with her as an in law.

Unfortunately, this situation sounds like it’s out of your hands - your ex will need to deal with her mother on her own. This is coming from a chinese immigrant whose mother has these controlling tendencies, but I made sure to set strong boundaries in college so that she understood this was my life, not hers.

like

Second this. If your gf won’t stand up for you on this one, she probably won’t stand up for you with them in the future. This won’t be the only instance of the in-laws blatant disapproval, and will likely get worse with weddings, kids, schools for kids, etc.

like

In 5 years you’ll be happy you stayed single when you look at all the options around you 😄. Move on.

like

After the offer we got into a minor argument regarding this mom situation. Gf’s mom found out about the argument and is now actively blocking gf from seeing me and gf has asked to break up.

Do you wanna be in a relationship where her mom is calling the shots?

Does she have any reason to not like you besides your line of work?

At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is if you both are happy with one another and that’s it. A bit personal but I lost my ex in a similar situation and I honestly regret it. So it may seem tough now, but if you two are happy with each other that’s what matters. Her parents arent going to be in the relationship for her either way so keep going

Have you tried showing her other how much money you'll make ?

Congrats on your great new job!!

Controversial take:
As a married woman, w. large group of professional girlfriends, if she hasn’t broken up with you yet - go after winning the parents.


If she has broken up with you, then should just mourn but let this one go.

That means it is clear she is ok not having you in her life. And you don’t want to waste your time on chasing someone like that when you’ll have a lot of options ahead.

Perhaps she tried so hard to help you in your way as a parting gift for a really great guy to be positioned for the next really great gal... but you are not the one for her.

Related Posts

Hi All,
I received offer letter from cognizant to join in upcoming week. Today I received call from another Hr that he want to proceed with the offer roll out. Confused . Can anyone help ?

**I have given cognizant interviews multiple times on Saturday and Sundays

like

How many example leadersip princple cases should i prepare for my first Amazon interview?

like

Can anyone please share their experience of Data scientist/ ML interview at Microsoft. I have mine coming up. I highly appreciate any help on the areas covered, level of coding test etc. TIA Microsoft 6 yrs exp

like

Can someone please share about your experience and the topics asked in BCG interview for java developer?

like

Hi Fishes need your suggestions please. I have an interview with PWC for GCP DE Manager, currently working in pure technical role as data engineer. YoE 12.5, cctc 10.5 and holding offers till 23.5 fixed and few more in pipeline, expecting till 27 with 40 days left in np. How much can I ask for a senior manager level in PWC AC Bangalore and how difficult is the work and transition from pure technical to managerial role? I am still bit reluctant to leave tech side, is it good in long run?

like

What is the average salary that i could negotiate for a Business Intelligence Developer role? I feel i am being underpaid in my current company. It would be great if someone could suggest me how to improve my skill set and how to prepare for an interview on this role. TIA.

like

Hi All,
Requesting suggestions for the case study round for Nagarro.Please provide your valuable insights.Thabks in advance

like

Has anyone here had an interview with ad agencies like xaxis, mindshare?How’s the interview process like?

like

I loathe my mother in law

likefunny

Hi all, i have an interview coming up for a product manager/owner position. It's a problem solving interview and the case study could be based on a growth, conversion or a P&L problem.
What kind of questions should i ask on all three to get more insights into the problem?

like

Hello Fishes 🐠
I am looking for an EA positions in Southern California, however willing to relocate to the Bay Area for the right position! I have been applying to jobs for the last 5 months with plenty of interviews, and processes I have made it far but still have yet to secure a position. I would really appreciate any one who is hiring! Thank you 😊

like

Any advice on how many slides a ~15min tech interview presentation should be? I know there’s no perfect number but is like maybe 8-12 slides good enough? Context is this is for higher up like we’re talking Directors+ and they’re very smart in tech with phd’s.

like

When interviewing - is there a way to respectfully decline a take home case study that doesn't automatically result in disqualification from the candidate pool?

like

Hey everyone, I need some advise. I've been interviewing for a company for the last 4weeks. The salary was originally discussed as (say Xk) but the recruiter I'm working with said today that they "realigned the goals" and brought the salary down to (Xk-10). I wasn't even okaay with Xk tbh, and now they've gone ahead and reduced it by 10k! I'm attending the final round on Friday - do y'all have any tips on how I can negotiate my salary to X+10 and let them know that this is highly unprofessional?

like

How are you all handling work + the holidays? I just want to take a bunch of time off to spend with my family and unwind but instead, I'm drowning in work.

like

Any stats on how many people get past 1st phone screening case interview with McK? Also if it’s phone does it mean no charts?

like

Hi, did anyone here experience interviewing with Revolut for technical product owner role?
I got on a Hr call with them and they said they really expect technical product owner to know the nitty gritty of backend like payload or system designs etc, and that I would need to brush up on backend knowledge if i want to pass their technical interview.
The HR said I can do some brush up and let her know once I’m ready for the interview and she will schedule it then, as if i go ahead and fail now, i wo

like

I’m Elizabeth and I’m in Las Vegas. I’ve been teaching ECSE for 14 years and it’s my 18th year teaching (i taught resource for 4 years). I love my littles! Who has taught the toddler crowd?

like
helpful

When you are the one interviewing for a recruiter or recruiting program management position, how do you like to prep? Do you find questions that seem to be consistent across interviews?

like

More Posts

Just found out this morning that my H1B RFE got approved! Submitted the RFE documents on 11/17, approval on 12/4. I found out from the USCIS website. My lawyer hasn’t told me anything.

like

Does Barclays put your profile on hold?

Barclays

like

How do you all meet people? I work 60 or more hours a week and travel around 70% of the year. I'm not really a tinder type person, but I'm about desperate enough to try anything these days.

like

Any Good Tips/ Suggestions for Honeymooning on Points?

like

Anyone at amazon willing to refer?

like

Well this is looking like a bloodbath. Anyone feels like the predictions of a 20% correction might actually be real.

like

How are data engineering projects in Microsoft?

like
like

Typical salary for strategy associate with 1YOE in London?

like

Seriously considering if leaving would be a better career move. Did 5 years and ended up in a federal tax consulting role, which I like, but it doesn't translate well to industry. Thoughts?

like

Want to be fit (the rona fad of weight gain has died down). where to start? going to the gym is boring and most oftentimes I’m just lazy. serious recos only pls

like

Hi Fishes,

I attended hr discussion round on nov 10 and also they approved CTC but still i didn't get offer letter

How long it will take?

like

Well pretty summs up the double standards within the EU

Post Photo
like

Ericsson vs Oracle. Both have same tech.Ericsson offering a better.which one to go for ?Ericsson Oracle

like

Pricing Strategy vs. Marketing Communications (both in Pharma)? Which role do you guys/gals believe better sets one up for a leadership role in marketing in the future. Comp for both roles are equivalent and I like both specializations equally, so neither comp nor interest is a factor. Only factor I’m weighing is which is a better path towards potential leadership role in the future. T.I.A!!!

like

Favorite track off of 30?

like

Hi All

Any idea as to till when can we expect work from home in global practice?

like

Ps & MDs/EDs/Ds - how do you keep motivated after 25-30 years in PA? Burned out from long hours early in yr & just want to hang with kiddos. Hard to focus. Other options in PA besides a line P/MD?

like

Crypto, any idea about Shiba Inu?

like

Anyone starting D-Hop tonight? It would normally be a no-brainer but he's listed as game time decision. I have Diontae Johnson on the bench to replace if needed.

Thoughts?

like

Additional Posts in All Things MBB

Any stats on how many people get past 1st phone screening case interview with McK? Also if it’s phone does it mean no charts?

like

McKinsey & Company What are the metrics/areas you use to evaluate candidates at McKinsey & Company?

like

What was it like when you got your r2 decision call? What were you hoping to hear and what’d you end up hearing? How was it?

like

Has anyone completed the paid courses on Crafting Cases and would/wouldn’t recommend them? Bruno keeps sending me emails and I’m tempted!

like

Bain & Company Is Bain & Company actively recruiting? Really only heard M and BCG making the push

like

Starting McKinsey in Jan 2023, but wanted to ask if onboarding was virtual or in person? Moving to nyc and trying to plan

like

For Bain’s 6 month abroad program, are you paid your home country’s salary?

like

For more senior MBB folk (SM/EM/PL+) who exit to (non-technical) FAANG roles, do you need to be in the tech practice or does it not matter?

like

Are BB also hiring like crazy right now, or is it just M? And if I started at my current place like 3 months ago and let's say I get an offer from a MBB, would pivoting be frowned upon or be considered "burning bridges"?

like

BCG: Do you get paid monthly or biweekly?

Is a Mock case prior to first round truly a mock, or are you being scored on how you perform? BCG.

Background check question. Had a grad school project on my resume with a company. Project was 8 months work with company and 3 months of prep training. This was considered a volunteer role and I have no W2s or anything associated.

On my BGC I listed the 11 months listed above. My previous resume listed this under my education, so I never had exact dates. Grad school was several years back.

Q1 is this kosher to list 11 months?
Q2 anything I should do to clarify?
Q3 does MBB care about vol?

like

McKinsey & Company Bain & Company How is MBB's Human Capital Consulting practice? I also have an offer as FAANG Product Manager in the same city with similar compensation. I have 7YOE in risk management at an industry specific (tech) boutique investment bank.
McKinsey & Company Boston Consulting Group Bain & Company

how long does McKinsey H1-B transfer take on average?

like

Any Boston MBBers? What is the culture in your office? Are you actively still hiring or is the hiring frenzy over? Would you say the people are happy?

like

Hi guys, I just got a verbal offer from McK a couple days ago. Negotiating is proving tough and I seem to be getting lowballed. What is the best way to negotiate considering I do not have any other offers on the table? Would love any input

like
like

Received ECT AD in ops at BCG. I have two questions:
1. Is it difficult for these roles to get utilization/billability targets?
2. If I work for say 3-5 years, opportunity for good industry exits?

Background - 15 YOE. Currently Director at global firm. I am not looking to become an equity partner and happy to focus on content and interesting work. Main reason to join is opportunity to work and learn from different clients, smart people and good brand. Feedback/guidance/insights welcome!

like

Hi all, how long did it take for you to get to equity partner after MBA? Where you in MBB pre-MBA?

like

Is it worth taking a demotion in terms of role (manager to business analyst) to jump over to McK from another consulting firm? Also would be curious about salary for an experienced BA with ~4 years work exp

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal