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Do you want this girl or not? She sounds phenomenal. To think she spent time prepping with you, while managing med school and getting even an ounce of sleep. Damn, she amazing!
If you do, you'll do whatever it takes to win her and her parents over. If she won't marry you without their blessing, then do whatever they need to feel comfortable. Pay stubs, trajectory, whatever. In the big picture, they are just scared and worried about their baby and want the best for her.
Once you get her, make an effort to make your MIL proud of you. This will only strengthen your marriage long term, since your gf seems to lean on them emotionally.
Sad thing is, your career earnings will probably surpass most doctors
Many don't get how good a career consulting, esp MBB, is. Sounds like the parents are those people.
They’ve never heard of consulting in their lives.
As someone with first generation East Asian parents and first generation East Asian in-laws, don’t waste your time with someone whose parents have made up their mind not to like you. That is unless both you and your partner are ok with completely being cut off from them
This will sound brutal but did you throw out any numbers? My parents were pressuring me to be a doctor, professor, or SWE right up until I got my McK offer and they looked up comp numbers lol
Yeah Chinese immigrants are drawn to money, status, and stability. MBB consulting definitely checks the first two and the brand takes care of the third.
If I may ask, are you Chinese.
Because from the place where I see, it may not be 100% about being non-med.
Because, reasonably her parents would have Googled (or Baidued) MBB compensation and stuff like that.
If you're not Chinese, I think it has to do with race.
Race penchancy is common in Asian culture.
Honestly, if it’s that easy for your ex gf’s mother to control her life like that, it might be best to move on. This is a huge red flag in my opinion. You can try to let her mother know why consulting is worth it, but if she is being unreasonable AND your ex allows her to do so, that sort of toxicity does not bode well for the rest of your life. Imagine getting married and needing to deal with her as an in law.
Unfortunately, this situation sounds like it’s out of your hands - your ex will need to deal with her mother on her own. This is coming from a chinese immigrant whose mother has these controlling tendencies, but I made sure to set strong boundaries in college so that she understood this was my life, not hers.
Second this. If your gf won’t stand up for you on this one, she probably won’t stand up for you with them in the future. This won’t be the only instance of the in-laws blatant disapproval, and will likely get worse with weddings, kids, schools for kids, etc.
In 5 years you’ll be happy you stayed single when you look at all the options around you 😄. Move on.
After the offer we got into a minor argument regarding this mom situation. Gf’s mom found out about the argument and is now actively blocking gf from seeing me and gf has asked to break up.
Do you wanna be in a relationship where her mom is calling the shots?
Does she have any reason to not like you besides your line of work?
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is if you both are happy with one another and that’s it. A bit personal but I lost my ex in a similar situation and I honestly regret it. So it may seem tough now, but if you two are happy with each other that’s what matters. Her parents arent going to be in the relationship for her either way so keep going
Have you tried showing her other how much money you'll make ?
Congrats on your great new job!!
Controversial take:
As a married woman, w. large group of professional girlfriends, if she hasn’t broken up with you yet - go after winning the parents.
—
If she has broken up with you, then should just mourn but let this one go.
That means it is clear she is ok not having you in her life. And you don’t want to waste your time on chasing someone like that when you’ll have a lot of options ahead.
Perhaps she tried so hard to help you in your way as a parting gift for a really great guy to be positioned for the next really great gal... but you are not the one for her.