Those that take care of your parent(s) from a (physical) distance, how did you establish the distance and boundaries on the kind of care you’ll provide? Especially those that went from being physically present for years previously.

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They know I don’t want to give them emotional support so we talk for a few minutes monthly. I pay for their mortgage, phone, property tax, and insurance from afar. They know if they bother me or annoy me I will cut them off. My sister provides them emotional support (lives with them) and they know anything that requires translating they need to go through her.

Honestly some might see this as rude but I see it as instilling boundaries. I’m still resentful about paying for their stuff especially since after moving out at 17 I never received anything from them. I went to college and business school for free or took out loans. But at the end of the day I still love them - but not enough where I’ll allow their burdens to impact my day to day.

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