Thoughts on dating a divorcee? Pros and cons? I'm still fuzzy about dating someone who's married before. Single/F here...

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Every divorce is different so it completely depends on the situation and person

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You're judging this person- get to know him for who he really is and give him a chance. For all you know his ex wife could have been the crazy one and he's a totally normal loving person who wants to be happy in life like everyone else. You can't bracket all "divorcees" into one group and judge them based on that one part of their past.

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Might consider it if I was in my 30's, but no reason for me to deal with that baggage now

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Well I'm not divorced but I have friends who are and can see how things can go sideways fast. I'd say don't necessarily discriminate because someone else was willing to commit to him, likely for good reasons.

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If you don't like him you don't like him.

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How old are both of you?

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Everyone makes mistakes - it didn't work out and they've no doubt learnt from it. If anything, they're probably more tuned in to what works and what doesn't.

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Mid-20s with a penchant of attracting older men...in this case, a divorcee

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Pro: likely will not rush marriage. Con: like anyone else, could be cray cray. Pro: might already have kids if you are a woman and don't want to birth children. Con: might already have children. Pro: maybe a great divorce settlement. Con: might be paying alimony. Pro......

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He: 33. No kids. So far hasn't revealed why he got divorced. Not sure I want to wait around to find out...

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@OP, I was with a single mom for a little bit, the kid ALWAYS came first. Wouldn't do it again, kid or not. Just too much baggage and not as much excitement after the initial renegade streak wanes

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I like him just fine. But the whole divorce baggage...very foreign to me...and he's pretty private and not willing to share much details on it. Want to give him the benefits of the doubt, aka "he's a totally normal loving guy whose ex-wife was a cray cray and let him go", but I'm worried that I'm living in a fantasy world to think of that...

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Just ask him! "I'm starting to like you more and more, and would just like to know a bit more about this part of your life....."

If he likes you - he'll share!

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Imo a lot of divorcees do dating better bc they've learned the hard way what doesn't work. You should give him a chance. Ask him about what happened.

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OP - you need to push it. He may be embarrassed.... make it clear that this is turning into an issue for you. If he doesn't open up - then he's made a decision for you.

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@bcg1, my thought too...but I wanna hear some positive side about dating a divorcee, if there's any...

Also mid-20's. To me, it's a sign that they are more likely to divorce again, and already having kids would be a definite no.

How old is he?

And still aiming for that "normal loving guy" who has never been married before...cause I don't believe I deserve any less...but this guy seems very into me now...and relationship seems promising except for the whole mysterious divorce with unknown causes...that bugs the hell out of me...

Well you got plenty of time. If you like him enough keep on dating and once you find out the reason then see if he is worth sticking around. If you don't like him enough, then hit the road now.

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