💍 Thoughts on how to set the right budget for an engagement ring?

Aside from the 3mo rule, how can you arrive at a reasonable figure?

likeuplifting
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Married man of 15 years here. My wife told me she wanted a gold band. I bought a diamond anyway. She liked it and wasn’t mad. But she rarely wears it. Guess what she wears on a daily basis? A gold band. Point is: communicate with your SO early on. talk about desires and cost, etc. You’re getting married so this is her purchase too.

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I mean, you work at BCG - if you go by 3 month salary nobody will have anything to complain about. But definitely communicate with your partner, and do a bit of sleuthing. Has she dropped any hints? What do her friends have? Is she the type to compare and/or get jealous? Will she relish in getting compliments on her ring? If you think you want to go non-diamond, make 1000% sure she is on board with it. I would recommend going ring window-shopping before you commit to buying. After all, the point is that she loves it and wears it forever.

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3 month rule was a marketing gimmick devised by the diamond industry. Just communicate with your SO or your SO's best friend to get an idea of what they want in a ring. If your SO is someone who is going to be unhappy with a ring under a certain value, then there are probably other issues that need addressing anyway.

likesmart

@VP1 - actually no dowry, that’s fairly old school and doesn’t happen much in the US - think about it this way - we had around 300 couples, of which around 250-260 gave close to 100 each, that’s a simple 25000, then the remaining 50, gave between 500-5000 - just on a 1000 average - 75000 is easily met. The other side of this is that for those people who gave in the 500-5000 range, I will do the same in my life time. For example; I know already for my 4 year old niece, I will be culturally suggested to give her 1 months income - so that’s gonna be well over 10K in 20+ years - but her grandfather gave me 2500 for my wedding - it’s all about tradition and relationships - and the mindset that it’s all staying in the family.

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A reasonable figure is whatever you and your SO agree and can be happy with. For example, both me and my SO thought the whole thing was silly so we bought cheap, amazon rings, which was promptly tossed away (literally) after realizing how pointless it was.

Still married after being together for14 years, in case you are wondering.

You do you, though.

likeupliftinghelpful

This 💯💯💯

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If you are worried about your wife having to explain to someone about a small/cheap ring, buy Moissanite - no one call tell the difference between that and a diamond unless the are jewelers. And it may cost you 2-3k including a matching band

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There are lab 💎 too... it has the same physical, chemical, and optical qualities as a natural stone, except that it’s flawless and it’s more affordable.

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That’s actually false. The color on lab made diamonds are terrible and will not be certified as a diamond. Ultimately has no value; just another marketing gimmick taking advantage of the “blood diamond” story that is also a complete fallacy

3 years salary, right?

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Make the ring yourself from sprigs of wood and spit.

funny

Just went through this myself. I agree that communication is critical. I planned on spending 15-20k on a ring. We went looking together just to see what she likes vs doesn't style wise and she hated all the bigger rings. Ended up spending 6.5k and she is thrilled. As long as you give yourself some lead time and make the moment itself special the element of surprise is still very much present....the thought of marriage shouldnt be a total surprise assuming you have been together a while.

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Thank you!

Sell your soul to the devil

funny

Thanks so much for all of the advice, really appreciate it! One of the more prevalent comments is to speak with her about it. The problem is I fear that will take the surprise / excitement away!

I know the style she wants, I’m just struggling with what size, quality, color, and cut I should get and how much that is going to be.

Sounds like 2ct is a safe starting point!

Seconding M3. SO had sent a pic of exactly what she wanted to her best friend. So that helped tremendously.

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Whatever is reasonable for you. Got married out of ugrad with debt so $1.5k was more than reasonable. Even now I wouldn’t spend more than $2k just because we don’t see the value in it. There’s like no resale

As much as you would spend on a new car

Communicate, know what she likes, but set expectations. Even if you have a household income of 300K I think it’s ridiculous to spend 5K+ on a ring when that can go towards the honeymoon, your new home, or other life goals.

I think one month of your annual income is good, 2-3 months is OK, but pushing it. Also keep in mind you’re not less of a person if you don’t get a diamond. Pearls and stones are more of my wife’s thing. She also loves rose gold over regular gold, which was hard to find in stores. In the end, I ended up having a custom ring made from her on Etsy for about $700.

Aww that’s a great idea :)

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