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Make sure you talk about finances beforehand. How will you split bills, groceries. Will you have a shared account? Each contribute the same % of salary or the same amount in $$s? It will save a lot of stress down the road if you figure out financial compatibility now.
Agreed with all the above but also....living with your significant other is so much fun! (and also varying degrees of stressful until you find your routine)
If you’re planning on getting married, I think living together is super important to do first.
Navigating the details of living together when you feel “stuck” by the idea that you have you get married now that you’re engaged puts an unneeded amount of pressure of living together.
A1 - What are the sources for your final assertions? I haven’t seen any research supporting that cohabitation “prevents shit marriages.”
While we may have anecdotes, this sounds a waste of time. You should be able to establish a partner’s trustworthiness and deep-seated values prior to living together. Whether or not my SO screws the cap back on the toothpaste tube or picks up his clothes do not make or break a marriage.
I mean, why not get married at this point? Genuinely asking. Not sure I see the value in moving in, potentially wasting three more years, when you’re kind of through the trial period. At this point you know each other and you want to be together right?
Agree - if you want a marriage now is the time. Or if not the time, that's okay but dont move in. Or don't move in unless you have a bunch of "f you" money in savings -$3-5k if you live in hcol city.
There are a lot of different thoughts on proposal vs moving in first - you have to do what’s right for you. I always thought I would live with someone first but then my husband proposed pretty early so we ended up moving in after we were engaged.
If you are older (late twenties and up) and want to be engaged, I would ask yourself (and likely discuss with your SO) why you aren’t yet. Once couples have been together a few years and are old enough/mature, I often wonder what are they waiting for, what else needs to change for them. If you both want to live together first, cool. But don’t move in wanting an engagement that you don’t know when it will come or what else you two are waiting for.
My husband and I lived together for a year before getting engaged. We both wanted to make sure it would work with us living together, and I am glad that we did. If you are thinking of buying a place (we did), make sure you have a legal agreement in place of how to handle if you split. Not something you want to think about, but necessary
If it feels right it feels right. I’ve always been of the mindset that you should wait a year before doing so just to see if the relationship is stable as is. My boyfriend and I will have dated for 1.5 years by the time he moves in with me later this year. I think it’s the right move.
Is there anything you’re hesitant about?
Yes - why not get engaged now. Life is short. If it doesn't feel like the right time, it's not the right time to move in and play house.
Do it if you want to and it feels right.
I moved in two months into the relationship...