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Thoughts on showing (I) cleavage and (II) shoulders at work? For ladies although everyone please weigh in. On that note isn’t it curious how different the standards are based on one’s gender identity?

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My wife pulls her shirt off her shoulder to jokingly flirt with me in a totally non serious and goofy way so in my mind anyone who gets worked up over shoulders because it is somehow too racy needs to relax a little or keep their fetish to themselves. When it comes to cleavage, I think showing it usually doesn’t produce the effect most women are going for. I’ve been around countless women in office settings who have cleavage showing and when they have to have a conversation with a man, all they do is fidget with their top/sweater/jacket or fold their arms and adopt all sorts of body language that screams “I thought I looked super cute when I put this on in the morning but now I’m desperately uncomfortable speaking to a man who is directly facing me and can see part of my boobs." I will also add that I am the type of guy who (1) is married, (2) doesn’t flirt with women other than my wife, (3) doesn’t check out women at work, and (4) isn’t really a boob guy, but I still find showing cleavage EXTREMELY distracting when speaking to women in a professional setting. I don’t know if it’s because it is a point of contrast that my eye catches or if it’s just because it is programmed into me as a guy to look, but cleavage draws the eye and I hate having focus on not mindlessly allowing my eyes to drift when I’m not even interested in the first place. I have to cast my vote against it in the workplace.

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I don’t think spaghetti straps are appropriate in any office, but overall what’s acceptable depends on your office climate. Florida in general is extremely relaxed- also due to weather. People are in sandals and sleeveless tops all the time, at least when in the office. Honestly the cleavage thing, I feel, is a personal choice. I agree that if you’re just going to fiddle with your shirt all day, you’re just bringing attention to yourself and therefore causing your top to become inappropriate. Invest in some fabric tape (Ulta sells it) for any shirts that tend to fall accidentally lower than you’d like, instead of removing them from your closet. Some tape bonding your bra strap to your shirt does wonders

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Omg yes EY 6. I literally feel like I look crazy sometimes cause I make sure to look at a woman’s eyes and not their chest but it’s just something that stands out and my eyes are drawn to it. If a dude was showing chest hair I’m gunna look at that shit too.

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I don’t understand the shoulder thing. If offices weren’t 2 degrees in the summer I would care much more about this.

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Boobs are distracting. Maybe it’s because they were a source of food when when we were babies. Maybe it’s sexual. But I’ll look at a 90 year old woman’s cleavage if it’s there. It’s a huge distraction. Not because we are pigs but because of curiosity. For example if I walk around the office with my asscrack hanging out it’s gonna draw a gaze or two. Don’t wear an asscrack on your chest and expect people not to look. Since we know looking can be perceived as sexual and inappropriate your boobs turn into Medusa. Don’t you wish that evil on me Ricky Bobby. If it’s that important for you to show your boobcrack at work.... maybe less time focusing on wardrobe and more time focusing on workpapers.

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Dress to appease me

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Agree EY9, why can’t I show off my hairy shoulders and man boobs?

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I rock a real nice dong bulge when I wear khakis. Same difference, right?

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EY6 that is totally me when I realize my camisole or shirt is pulling down a bit much and showing cleavage! I have removed shirts from my work wardrobe for that very reason

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How are the standards different? I don’t see guys at the office showing cleavage or shoulders.

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It’s called a moose knuckle

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SA2, everyone is a victim nowadays

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Woman have boobs...sorry if you guys find that to be distracting but you need to get over it

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Cleavage is tricky. When you have big boobs, it’s hard to find things that don’t show a little bit. I try not to wear anything that shows cleavage at the office, because I don’t like the thought of my coworkers seeing my boobs. By shoulders, do you mean wearing sleeveless shirts or do you mean like a tube top? I think sleeveless shirts can be fine but tube tops are a hard no.

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EY 6 is totally right. I am also married and do zero flirting at work and I hate talking to clients or co-workers with massive cleavage just sticking out there. It's not even boobs because if they are covered I don't notice. Cleavage though, so distracting.

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A good rule that I just made up - it seems ok for a top to show skin above where the top of bra cups meet the straps. So if it’s a ‘straps only’ depth, it shouldn’t be bad. Anything level with cups seems to show too much

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It's gonna be tough getting promoted if you're not showing cleavage

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Pwc2 I’m shocked that that’s all you took away from that. Are your still mad Hillary didn’t get elected ?

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If you have to ask them no to both. Try dressing professionally and gain respect. The office is t the place to show things off.

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^tone deaf comment

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Sleeveless tops are generally ok, as long as they are work appropriate. Generally cleavage is considered not professional. I think the rule is only 1 or 2 buttons should be undone on a shirt? And if by shoulders you're referring to "cold shoulder" or off the should shirts..personally I find those also unprofessional. "Dress for the job you want."

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