{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Throughout pretty much my entire career, I've never taken a true extended vacation. I'm about to take nearly 2.5 weeks off and actually be mostly away from work to focus on my wife and kids. To be honest, I actually have some anxiety about it. Any sage wisdom from others on disconnecting?", "post_id": "61ef0ed814f3d80036b189b3", "reply_count": 40, "vote_count": 10, "bowl_id": "5902937c77e26a00105a5bd9", "bowl_name": "Partner One", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Throughout pretty much my entire career, I've never taken a true extended vacation. I'm about to take nearly 2.5 weeks off and actually be mostly away from work to focus on my wife and kids. To be honest, I actually have some anxiety about it. Any sage wisdom from others on disconnecting?

likeuplifting
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Just do it. Set an expectation that you will be away and offline and just do it. And when you get back, make it clear that your team members can do it too. Then take a vacation again. You aren’t that indispensable. If you were hit by a truck tomorrow, your company would still be solvent and your clients would still be around. They’d get over your disappearance quickly. Focus more of your attention on those who wouldn’t. And remind yourself of who is who.

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Think of it as something you need to do both for fam and yourself and also to set an example. If your anxiety is that things will fall apart, your team needs more rope. Use this to give it to them. Work out ways for them to escalate and call you to confirm. Clients need to have second in command POCs as well. No time like now to adjust your approach to be more healthy.

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1. Create a 2-hour window at the end of every 5 days to focus on work / replying to most urgent emails / get viability into progress 2. Tell your minions that it’s a step up opportunity for them 3. No idea what to tell clients though 4. Take 4 weeks off

likefunny

How dare you…. Disconnect completely. Set an OOO and say you will have NO connectivity and access to email. Done. This isn’t even a bitter reply to Deloitte, this is in general.

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How have you never taken time off before? What did you do when your kids were born?

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2.5 weeks is not an extended vacation

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Remember, even brain surgeons take 3 weeks off knowing that someone could die during those 3 weeks. Is anyone dying in your absence? I hope you dont think so. Go take a vacation

likesmart

I honestly don’t know what to even say with this. Way to set an example for your team, mate.

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😂😭😭😭😭 right?? So pathetic if you ask me

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I’m 12 years into my career and take an extended vacation every year. It’s hard to disconnect and I never fully but I delegate, set clear guidelines when folks should contact me, and then periodically check in every week or so.

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Don’t bring your laptop

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Communicate and set a plan in place with clients and colleagues. Delegate a strong number two to filter what, if anything, is urgent. Delete your Outlook/email app from your phone. Be available by text for urgent matters (you likely won’t even be contacted).

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I seriously was trying to read it as 2.5 months. That’s more like an extended vacation. I do minimum 2 weeks every summer and in December holiday break in additional to smaller vacations. You won’t get over your anxiety unless you do it. Your teams will step up. And if they don’t you will know what you need to work on to make the next vacation successful!

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I think it’s a little unfair to call this sad. OP is asking for help getting comfortable to make this change — a habit that’s likely been ingrained for years. Principal 2’s advice I think is spot on. Also great to teach junior people they can do the same.

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Ehhhh no it’s sad. You made all those sacrifices to not even enjoy the fruit of your labor. 🙄

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Visit a cemetery and ask how many of them thought they were irreplaceable.

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If you meditate hard and know what to look for you'll "hear" them

I read things like this and immediately think are you truly even enjoying all the money you make other than providing for your family? Not trying to be an asshole but I’m generally intrigued to know if you do anything for fun outside of anything that involves your family.

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Tell people you’re doing it, and then absolutely go cold turkey. You’ll be amazed at how much your teams will step up in your absence (which will hopefully help break the back of your tendency to do this in the first place!)

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Honestly same. 2.5 weeks you should be fine. I tend to stay plugged in for urgent items because it give me less anxiety to check emails 1x a day for 20 mins than being totally disconnected. Even when traveling internationally. Some will tell you that’s unhealthy but you gotta do what’s best for you.

uplifting

2.5 weeks? You madman! Just get your team to step up, also make sure you have someone else that can help sign contracts (if necessary) in your absence. Make sure they only contact in case of fire or massive escalations. Otherwise just disconnect.

Sad. What kind of relationships are you even building if you can’t tell them you’re on vacation for two weeks? People who trust and rely on your council now, also will in two weeks. If they don’t, focus on other relationships.

Don't look at your phone. Everything important to you should already be around you

Fully understand that the world is not going to stop if you're not around. Then go take the 2.5 weeks and come back to see if that's true. It'll be true. If not, that's good too. You can restart the world ;) Oh and zero work. Try very hard to completely unplug. You'll succeed in a couple of days.

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Remember, its okay to not be okay. Take time off and do what you enjoy.

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When is too soon to take time off at a new job?

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Sooo ready for the holiday party on Friday.

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How do you go about using PTO outside of an actual vacation? Because of the tight knit nature of the teams I’m on it feels like I can’t use an actual off day when I need it. (Corporate/M&A for reference)

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Just over a year post BL. Still a lawyer but more balanced. Still crazy to me how all those weird things about corporate BL are actually not inescapable realities of practice, e.g. not having free time on weekday evenings, work email notifications, having to take my laptop on vacation, caveating accepting a birthday party invitation by saying "if nothing comes up". The happiest surprise: work is still intellectually challenging because of the randomness of being an in-house generalist.

likeupliftinghelpful

Are we allowed to travel from out of province to Vancouver for the holiday break? How rigid are the lockdown restrictions in B.C. right now?

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why do i feel guilty taking time off work … i’ve only been off for officially 1 day and I’m already on my laptop responding to emails the next

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What consulting firms have the best WLB? How many hours per week do you work? Are weekends safe? Is vacation safe?

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What is it about clients that obligates them to go on vacation as we’re preparing to close on a deal (or they decide to leave the country the morning of closing)? Is it something in the water?

likefunny

Is it true that AFS doesn’t allow people to start with a positive PTO balance?

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I’ll wait till the holiday weekend ends then send out a survey to get an idea of the demographics we have in this group

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