Tips on projecting confidence? Feedback I get often is along the lines of you’re doing great, but be more confident etc. Curious if other Black women here in particular have struggled with this

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I started researching how to exude confidence a few months ago and honestly, I have noticed SUCH a difference in many facets of life. Confidence is hot and being hot is a mindset. Please see below on how to be hot and confident:

don’t be afraid of eye contact and never be the first one to break eye contact. Make eye contact not with just the person you’re speaking with, but even when you walk into a room, don’t be afraid to look ppl in the eyes and don’t break until they do. Eye contact (without nervously glancing away/breaking it) oozes “I have confidence”

general body language:
-walk into every room like you own it. You’re hot, you’re intelligent, you own it. Seriously tell yourself in that your head as you walk in
- walk in with your Shoulders back, back straight, chin up, don’t look at the ground, and walk with a purpose (but not sprinting or anything).
- Don’t have your arms crossed while walking or standing. Crossing arms and similar gestures, especially ones that make you seem smaller, ooze vulnerability and can hint at insecurity. Insecurity makes someone an easy target
- When you are standing, don’t play on your phone, look down, fiddle with things, or anything similar that shows you’re uncomfortable. Even if you’re standing by yourself, you need to look perfectly content that you’re doing so
- when someone is trying you, your body language will say more than your words ever can, I promise. If someone is being disrespectful, Subtly stare at their forehead, glance down at their mouth, and then go back at their forehead. Continuously starting at someone’s forehead during a conversation in general will make them feel stupid, it’s some psychology thing. Never let anything someone says get a verbal or physical reaction from you. Shows them that they just took some of your power. An important part of disrespect is that confidence is something that will make someone way less comfortable disrespecting you. The issue is, once they’ve gotten away with disrespect 1-2x, it’s a little harder for you to reassert yourself after that. Prevention is key
- I don’t really use this inside of work but you can if you feel comfortable. If someone says something out of pocket, I’ll say “sorry, I must’ve misheard what you just said. Mind repeating it?” Gives “I know those words didn’t just come out your mouth” and the repeating makes them feel stupid
- Your appearance does mean something. The halo effect, which is when we think people who are put together/attractive are smarter, kinder, etc. You obviously don’t need to wear a full face or anything, but you looking your best will have you feeling your best. Wear outfits that make you feel like that chick. If some mascara and concealer makes you feel 30% better? Do it. When you feel your best, you’ll ooze confidence. When you think about it, realistically, ain’t no man in a poor fitting suit about to tell me what to do. Kidding, kinda. Am I more likely to subconsciously think more highly of the man in a tailored suit? Absolutely. Being sloppy makes people think less of you. Being indifferent about your appearance is kinda neutral zone, but I mean, taking your appearance seriously and making sure that YOU feel your best is what really matters

likeupliftingsmart

Whew this is a word, thanks

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Another thing that helps me is really understanding how pathetic and miserable people who are attempting to put you down are. That really helps with trying to keep your body language in check during situations with hightened emotions.

Say an EM is disrespectful more often than he should be. What’s driving this disrespect? His internal misery. Instead of letting what he said feel like it just stabbed you, think to yourself “lol how pathetic his life must be that this is what gives him a little boost of dopamine, poor guy. Imma pray for this loser” BUT you truly have to believe this. However, I absolutely believe that statement is true, and when you think about it, it is. Like “wow your poor, sad life that this makes you feel better”. You’ll chuckle to yourself in your head once you realize that ppl are just miserable

Good luck! Remember, hot is a mindset

likeuplifting

AP1 - being a hot girl isn’t just about appearance! It’s an aura

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I was “too confident” and it unknowingly to me came across as arrogant to my EM, who tanked my reviews

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