TL;DR: having trouble fitting in with the rest of the attorneys in my firm being super young compared to the rest of them. Not sure how to navigate.

Just started in June at a small firm where I’m the 7th attorney. I’m a K-JD and just passed the bar in August (🥳), making this my first real law job. The next associate is 10 years older than me. Everyone has spouses and at least one kid. All they talk about is said spouses and kids. I have none of that. Being social w/them is super hard. Help?

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I’m at a similar firm with a similar situation. I’ve been here for 3 years. It gets better! I just steer the conversation to something that everyone can talk about like football or upcoming events.

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I know how you feel. You can still express interest in their kids, families but also bring up topics outside of that - hobbies, current events....unless they are the type that just talks about their kids 24/7. Then you may just have to grin and bear for a while.

I would try for news topics, sports, company events/industry events. You'll probably have to make intentional conversation with them about things other than kids/family, but I think they'll be open to it once you get to know each other better.

I hope you don't mind but are you an introvert? Introverts usually have the tendency to have a hard time socializing with others. But I understand you since I've been there. Seniority and age gap really is quite intimidating. Just give it time and you will totally get adjusted.

I hope you don't mind but are you an introvert? Introverts usually have the tendency to have a hard time socializing with others. But I understand you since I've been there. Seniority and age gap really is quite intimidating. Just give it time and you will totally get adjusted.

It's understanable since you had just started. You're probably just getting the feel of things. Why don't you initiate a different topic? You could ask them about their experience at their first job or ask them for some tips. I know they would be very much happy to share some knowledge.

I get it, I've been in your exact position before. What helped for me was joining them for lunch. Naturally, the conversations just flowed and they started asking me about my experiences in law school. It went on for a while and things clicked with most of them. Now we go out for coffee runs to new cafes or even to dinner some nights. What I'm trying to say here is just go for it.

That’s the case with me too but you can’t let that concern you. You don’t need to be friends with them; they know you’re in a different life stage anyway. Just focus on doing the best work you can for them.

I had a similar start and have been with the same firm for four years now—just batted in June after clerking and school. I think a lot of older practitioners just want to see a bit of loyalty first as I am sure they have all seen their fair share of turnover. Year 2 was a huge improvement for me, and now, I’m closest with the oldest partner there! Just be involved with their conversations as much as you can and slowly but surely you’ll come closer.

Nah! Don't be discouraged and intimated, OP. You don't have to fit in using spouses and kids.

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