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HCL Technologies offer being delayed and recruiter keeps saying that there's a problem with their "Offer release portal system." I have already stated my issues with relocating until after I have the offer signed and ready. The project is supposed to start on the 19th and I'm supposed to join before, or on that date. It's already coming up soon and I don't have the official offer so that I can confidently start the relocation process. Has anyone else recently dealt with this?
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when do we get hikes in Accenture ?
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I messed ups no need help. Idk where to turn.
Bowl Leader
I went to AA, worked for me
It's very likely that at some point your friend may come to realize that the drug habit is an extension of their alcoholism, in which case Alcoholics Anonymous would be my recommended path. I went to my first meeting out of the sheer terror of losing my job, and next month God willing I'll have 10 years without a drink or other mind-altering substance (I tried it all, alcohol was the corroding thread that held it all together).
Here's the bad news, there's not a damn thing that you can do that will get your friend on this path. Be supportive, and make the suggestion without being overbearing, your friend isn't going to stop until they are good and ready. My best friend had to watch me decline for over a decade, and for much of that time I would have been resentful as hell at any forced attempt to get me to change. Remain supportive, protect yourself, and understand that they are powerless to make any change until they themselves are ready to reach out for help, and even then it'll take their willingness to place a heavy reliance upon someone/something other then themselves.
FWIW you'll never find a post in here that's too long to read, those that have come out the other side know how important it is that someone get the right help right when they need it.
I am on the opposite side of you. I am the one with the issue. I vent to my best friend (and coworker) and they listen and try to give me advice. But the truth is, no matter how much they care about me, it’s all on me. I am the one who keeps doing it, and keeps failing when I try to get better. Just be there to listen and try to give some advice. If they have insurance, rehab might be a good idea, but the decision has to come from them. My insurance paid for rehab and I was on a medical leave from work for a whole month. It helped me a lot, just being able to reflect, not have to worry about real life and and sharing time with people like me.
Eventually I ended up fucking up again, but that’s on me. I am alive thanks to having gone to that place. I still have my job thanks to having that medical leave.
I hope your friend gains the willingness and strength necessary to want to quit and get better. I wish you keep being strong as well. Thanks for being there for him.
Assuming you don’t have an addiction, you can only do so much. He needs to talk to someone who is an addict/alcoholic. Preferably someone he doesn’t have to pay, but someone who will freely and honestly share their experience, strength and hope. I found that at AA.
I tried to quit on my own and not only failed miserably but got worse. AA was the only thing that worked for me and I’m not religious. Sober 8 years July 9th
Bowl Leader
Others touched on it, but the best results, anecdotally, are reached under these circumstances:
- The person dependent on drugs and/or alcohol recognizes their behavior is a problem
- They actively seek help, or are at least willing to accept help
- Depending on the severity of their dependence, therapy would be the simplest route with the least disruption to the family
- However, if they are a real alcoholic or addict, meaning they fit the symptoms as described in the AA Big Book, then AA is likely the only chance for sustained sobriety and overall recovery.
Going to AA would of course result in some changes, but the benefits would outweigh the alternative of staying the current course.
For family members, Al-Anon and/or Alateen has been invaluable in helping the family deal with the overall impact of the disease. If one person in a relationship is sick with an addiction, the whole family becomes sick in a tragic, inverse reflection kind of way.
All that said, there are many paths to recovery and no person can say what will work for someone else. The truth is, that most of us who are afflicted, will hide behind an illogical level of denial until our entire world has crumbled around us. Following best practices and suggestions from those who have recovered is the best shot any of us have of receiving the miracle.
If they don't change, all that is going to get "upended" in a horrible way. You can tell them this. IF they can get sober, straight -- whatever they want to call it-- and change the patterns of their addictive life they might get to keep the people and things they have. The last thing is that you cannot do this for them. THEY have to change.