TL;DR: need advice on moving forward with brother-in-law who cheated on my sister

5 months ago I found out BIL was soliciting inappropriate relationships on private IG account. To what extent I am unsure. Was super angry for a few months. Just found out they are moving back in together. At this point I’m not as angry but just confused. It’s hard to know what I can or should do. They have a kid due in Sept.

Any thoughts/perspectives appreciated. Trying to be a good brother

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I mean making a huge assumption it sounds like they got back together because they’re having a kid. Unless he makes some crazy changes, it seems that the relationship is doomed. You gotta keep supporting your sister because if she feels you can’t be around them, she might isolate which isn’t healthy.

Tbh, I don’t think I’d be able to trust him again, but take your sisters lead. Tell him he has to build your trust and your sisters back. If he hurts her again, you’ll kill him (jk, but I think some level of this can never happen again is critical).

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He hasn’t reached out to me since but I feel the convo is coming soon. Any advice on that would be appreciated too, from a cheating perspective or someone that’s dealt with something similar

From my experience with cheaters, if it’s not a one time drunken mistake but rather a systematic thing, they’re not gonna change. They may Return to normal for a little but it’s only time, especially when your sister is pregnant / has a newborn. Just protect your sister is I guess what I’m trying to say.

BC1 thanks for the advice. I think you’re right, I just need to focus on her and let the rest unfold on its own. I’ve let her know since the beginning of this that I love and support her however she decides to move forward.

I think I’m just going to tolerate him from now on. Like I’m not going to be an asshole to him (oh how easy that’d be...) but I’m going to only engage with him insofar as it means being a good brother/uncle is concerned. He’s the type of guy who will take a mile if you give an inch. Known him since I was 5

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