{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "To be FTM here, baby is due in September. What kind of support i’d need in initial few months? Both me and my husband will be on parental leave for 5 months and 3 months respectively plus will have some family members staying with us for initial 2-4 weeks non of them have managed newborns before.\nI’ll be hiring someone to cook for us or at-least help with cooking.\n\nDo I need nanny specialized in newborn care? if yes should I go with full time or part time in the first 3 months?", "post_id": "60f8aef2d2b83200286c6929", "reply_count": 31, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

To be FTM here, baby is due in September. What kind of support i’d need in initial few months? Both me and my husband will be on parental leave for 5 months and 3 months respectively plus will have some family members staying with us for initial 2-4 weeks non of them have managed newborns before. I’ll be hiring someone to cook for us or at-least help with cooking. Do I need nanny specialized in newborn care? if yes should I go with full time or part time in the first 3 months?

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I found taking a prenatal class really helpful in reducing my anxiety - both for the information on what to expect and the network of other parents who were going through everything on a similar time frame. Even if your visiting family aren’t skilled in newborn care, they can do everything else so you can sleep - cleaning, shopping, washing bottles, etc. Just make sure you set the expectation with them that you aren’t going to be hosting them, they should be there to support you! And if you can afford a night nurse for a few weeks, I’ve had friends rave about how amazing they are, because the sleep deprivation is really hard. My understanding is that they come for the evening hours and will bring the baby to you for feeds / feed them with a bottle then handle settling/getting back to sleep and sterilising, etc. so you can catch up on sleep. It’s particularly helpful when you’re healing in the first few weeks. But also - remember that you will figure it out and find out what works for you.

2 week old newborn momma here. Ideally you'll need 3 people at minimum. You, hubby and a grandma. You'll feed and recover. Hubby will do night duty, diapers and help you with things such as laundry, helping you out of bed, anything below the knees since you can't reach, refilling pads, making a sitz bath, washing bottles, errands, etc. Grandma will make food, play with baby, watch baby when both of you need an afternoon nap, bath time, general advice. Especially if you have a traumatic delivery like I did, you'll need this much help for the first month at minimum for the best recovery. I also pump half time so that helps since someone else can feed while I sleep. Amazon Prime is wonderful for new moms, I was able to buy practically everything I and baby needed on my phone without ever stepping outside to go to a real store. I know there are couples who do it themselves, or single moms who manage, but if you have the option for help, take it.

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This is all true, but to be clear I know very few moms who in reality have had access to this level of help. Many go it alone, many have hub home for 1/2 weeks and that’s it. Absolutely take every bit of help you can get, but you will be absolutely fine with the ample coverage that you have.

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Honestly it sounds like you have it pretty well covered. I’d you’re both home + have family coming to stay, I don’t know what the nanny would do? A night nurse is the only thing I could see helping?

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Bcg1- you know her personally to make that claim?

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You’ll be fine.

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I am very nervous since this is my first baby and I am first generation immigrant here. no idea what is going to come next so want to be as prepared as I can be.

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You will be great, OP. When I had my first, my husband had 2 weeks of paternity leave snd that was it. We have family nearby but no one helped, other than maybe stopping by once a week with a meal. We managed just fine. I’m on mat leave with my second now and we have no help, aside from childcare for the toddler 2x/week and my husband had 2 weeks of leave. We’re also managing just fine this go around :) I think you have way more support lined up already than the large majority of people.

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This maybe an unpopular opinion, but I wouldn’t have so many people around unless they are going to be a significant help to you/husband/baby because I find the postpartem hormones + hosting guests made me too anxious. I would make a plan on what your family members will do, either baby stuff (holding, changing, entertaining, feeding if not breastfeeding) or house stuff (cleaning, cooking, laundry). The first 6 weeks you will be feeding the baby around the clock every 2-3 hours (meaning- the baby will start eating, end, be awake a short amount, sleep and start eating again within 2-3 hours). I had breastfeeding issues, so did triple feeding, which meant my spouse and my parents did all the supplemental feeding/holding/changing baby while I breastfed, pumped and slept for 20-30 minutes then rinse and repeat. Depending on how delivery goes, you may also need support to eat, go to the bathroom, and shower as well.

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PM1- you’re in the thick of it. It gets better, I promise

likeuplifting

Honestly I’d rather have a cleaner or laundry service than another person to do baby stuff (maaaybe a night nanny a few nights/week). Laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking/picking up carry out are things you can delegate to your siblings so you can focus on baby and your own recovery!

Agree with above - think you got it covered but a night nurse is amazing if you can afford. We did one for three weeks and I loved it. We had our moms staying us for a couple weeks and they cooked, made meals for freezer, cleaned, grocery shopped. So helpful. I also had a day doula come because I had a bad third degree tear and had limited mobility. Probably overkill and I don’t think you need one but I also got to sleep when she was there and learned about newborns (knew nothing). Taking cara babies class also super helpful.

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