To the Creative Directors approaching their 40s that are single with no kids and work 60-70hr weeks. You have all the awards and work at awesome places but is it worth it?

likesmart
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I am a CD in my 40s. I have won LOTS of awards (all the best ones) ... and I have 3 kids. I am so grateful at night, when I rest my head on my pillow, to have a found a source of true fulfillment that will always be there for me. I know one day I will look back on my legacy with no regrets.

I'm talking about my awards obviously. My kids drive me crazy.

likefunnyuplifting

You had me in the first half. Ain’t gonna lie. 😂

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Personally, I was never happy in this industry until I was a parent. It gives me perspective, let’s me zoom out, and gives me a joy achievement doesn’t. They’re a wondrous, wonderful reminder that I am not my job.

Not shaming anyone, though. I think a marriage or great friendships or a life rich in travel could do the same thing, the key is just to cultivate something else too. A singular focus on success will probably not fulfill you, long term. Or maybe it will, but success is fickle.

I don’t think I’m better than non-parents though, just luckier.

likehelpfulupliftingsmart

I feel similarly. I was perfectly happy before kids, enjoying living my life and going out with my teams, no cares in the world. I wasn’t someone who was itching to have kids. But having kids completely changed my perspective and for me, actually made me a better worker - my time is more valuable, and I have a family to support, so I work with more focus and purpose. I have also become more nurturing and caring of others.

With all that, I do wish I had leaned in to work more BEFORE I had kids - I enjoyed working and worked on award winning projects but wasn’t necessarily ambitious about climbing up the rungs. Because the time balance and juggle is much harder now, I feel like I wasted so much time and opportunity when I had an endless supply!

likesmart
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Really gross question. Because popping a kid out is the only way to have a meaningful life, huh?

likefunnysmarthelpful

Ok fair point but “popping out a kid” is unnecessary. You don’t look better. Just look as gross if not more gross.

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Not everyone wants kids. I say that as someone with a kid.

likefunny

41. No kids. Some awards. No debt. Solid money in the bank, investments, and can do whatever I want. Get to be a rad uncle, then leave.

Yep, totally worth it.

likesmart

Yeah sure, singleshame people because it fits whatever narrative that helps you through the day.

likefunny

53, unmarried, no kids. Underpaid and overworked. Got my name on a few awards. None of it has been worth it.

likehelpfulsmart

@Ogilvy1, did you recently change professions? How much experience do you have? in this job market you’re either accepting that you do mediocre work or you haven’t yet learned how to market yourself. Get out on LinkedIn and grab that cash.

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The not having kids part is totally worth it. Last year there was talk of layoff - no worries here, I could’ve used the time off. Want to jump into another company and take the risk, no problem about to do it. If I want to do nothing an entire weekend and sleep past noon, I do it. No soccer practice, no birthdays parties, no having to be fake nice with other kids' parents. I get out of town when I want to, just me and my partner and I live my life the way I want to. Love it 🥰 - not having kids is great 😊

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Freelancing will do that too with more freedom. My larger point is that the ego strokes of awards, a great book, a prestigious job, awards show juries etc are shiny but unfulfilling long term. I think that’s what OP was really asking. Freedom, friendship, money are better goals, long term, success is ephemeral. And I say that as someone who’s chased it.

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It is singleshaming though. We should stop doing that. More and more people consciously decide to be single or be childless and still have fulfilled lives. Your post implies you need children to have meaning in life.

likeupliftingsmartfunny

I didn’t take it that way. To me a close reading says they’re genuinely curious if people senior to them find as much meaning in their work - after years of dedication to it - as other aspects of life common to their age group.

likehelpful

People in here are triiiiiiggered

likefunnyuplifting

Sensitive :/

I'll be honest. I'm young and think it might be cute to have a baby one day. But dealing with pregnancy, possibility of dying during childbirth, possibility of breaking up and having to raise a baby alone, having to keep a baby alive, having to watch it all the time, possibility that your own child kills you (creeps me out whenever I see articles about this)---all major turn-offs. I'd rather have the awards on money. Also babies are more work than a 70-hour week.

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My kid wouldn’t dare kill me. I’d ground him for at least a week!

I’ve put in the time and had some industry recognition, and I’m a parent. My kid brings me so much joy, but the earlier years are also hard to say the least.

In short, I can equally imagine being satisfied with life either way - whether it includes more time at my desk but plenty more recognition, money, and solitude - or if it was like it is now, more balanced in some ways and with a family. Do you.

As an aside I think as an industry we could be more compassionate to parents. Sure, we chose to be parents. But it’s also maybe the most difficult thing you’ll ever do, and that’s not something that seems commonly understood. Be kind to parents. Especially new ones.

likeuplifting

I know what you mean. The article, I could have passed though. Some points seem to be serious, while some seem to be for entertainment. There are pretty solid arguments either way, as to the advantages of being wedded or single. I might decline to elaborate here though, because fishbowl can get mighty uncivil about controversial and personal topics. (Is it the anonymity that makes it spicier than other social media?)

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How about this:

To successful CDs that find fulfillment in living that work-life to the highest levels: is there anything you feel you miss out on/regret? Or is it amazingly awesome?

Answer: Amazingly Awesome

likehelpful

Love this reframing of the question! 🙌

Now that I have kids and have zero free time, I can't believe I wasted so many weekends and evenings chasing awards pre-children.

likehelpful

Yeah what did you do? Watch case studies? Search for social problems to fix?

Please don’t take this as single shaming. Just looking at what keeps you going. I burned out in my 30s and don’t have any motivation work-wise.

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Some people like their jobs because they're good at it. Hence the awards and hiring by awesome places.

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Ignoring the "single and no kids" part of the comment, just to focus on the "awards and amazing places" thought.

Napoleon made an observation that his soldiers would fight long and hard for a bit of coloured ribbon.

"Awards and amazing places" are the industry's coloured ribbon. If you're still excited and fulfilled by them, that's great. If not, that's also great.

A lot of my peers (mid-40s) simply stopped buying in to them. Many left in search of better working conditions. Those that remain in the industry do so to support themselves (and their families), and try to make the most of the parts of their job that they still find satisfying.

likesmart

I’m 40, no kids and not married (but have been with my SO for 18 years). I put a stop at 50 hours a week for my own mental well being and to make sure my team follows suit so they can have a life. I do not regret any of it. I’m not a creative and give zero shits about awards, but do care about the work we do. We aren’t curing cancer in this industry and so I try to live a fulfilling life outside of work. I find purpose outside the office and enrich myself with close friends and fun hobbies. I find that this has made a balanced person and a happy one. Doesn’t really answer your question, but just providing my perspective.

like

I know a lot of parents working far less or not working … and parenting burns them out. So it’s all personal preference. Whatever makes you happy.

likesmart

Massive generalization here but parents seem to look older/more tired than non-parents of a similar age. Non-parents often look less stressed and happy also.

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That’s what Botox is for baby!

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And don’t be so reactionary. It’s the internet.

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“Purpose and happiness have nothing to do with kids, awards, or the amount of hours you work.” Is a great statement. It both answers the question and criticizes it. I really appreciate it.

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