To what extent do you differentiate bedtime for your children by age? And how do you enforce it? I would like to do this and know it would be the right thing to do, but I find it hard to enforce. We have four children.

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I have 3: 14, 13, 11. Bedtime is 7:30 for all of them and always has been. This isn’t lights out necessarily, this is start bedtime process: showers, wind down, read in your room, etc. Lights out is 8:30-9. Some people say this is early but for our family it really works. It allows for alone time with my husband, last minute chores for the night, and gets them to sleep earlier so they’re not so groggy in the morning.

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I feel relieved that you (and others on this thread) have an approach where bedtime is the same for all children, with them being allowed to do quiet things in their room for a while. My parents had a system where my bedtime was always 30 minutes later than my sister‘s (she is 2 years younger). But I just find it too complicated to implement something like this with my children.

I have used a tally mark system for years. If you have to remind them or they get out of bed they get a tally by their name. 3 tallies and you give a consequence. At the same time you can reward good behavior. They get a sticker for every night they fall in bed like you asked. And you can reward accordingly.

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Could you give examples of consequences and rewards you use, pls?

And not to go on and on but my friend has four kids and they would all be put to sleep at the same time. I remember when they were 4 years to 10 years they were all in bed by 7 and up about 6. I said why and how do you make them go to bed so early! And she said she just needed her time alone.

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I feel relieved that you (and others on this thread) have an approach where bedtime is the same for all children, with them being allowed to do quiet things in their room for a while. My parents had a system where my bedtime was always 30 minutes later than my sister‘s (she is 2 years younger). But I just find it too complicated to implement something like this with my children.

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I also have four. We had a set routine. Dad bathed youngest, then I read bedtime stories to her while he bathed the next. Bedtime took about 2 hours from start to finish and each child had some alone time with mom and dad. As they got older and could bath themselves we kept the staggered approach with dad playing with the kids while I read to each individually.

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Wow, this sounds amazing

We have 5 (all school age), some nights we just give up 😂, particularly on weekends. I try to get the younger ones to bed by 830/9, but sometimes the older ones still have homework they are finishing and it stretches to 10 or 1030. I’m typically more of a stickler than my husband, so if I’m doing late calls and he’s running bedtime, it always stretches. The struggle is real!

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Yes, it can be a struggle 😉

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