Today there was a post in the singles bowl where someone was venting about their ex dumping them for a “chubby plain admin”. In the spirit of helping all women rise together (cont)

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Yeah. I'm the one who left a response telling her how nakedly ugly it was of her to tear down another woman, just to try and make herself feel better.

I don't know why people do this. I get it. Your ego is bruised. But abusing someone else will not improve your situation and from what I've seen, just makes you feel worse.

I call people on this and challenge them sit with their own ego struggle, rather than transmuting that pain into abuse of others.

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Same here! Even when my bf cheated on me with someone I thought was a friend, I didn’t tear her down. Personally, I just don’t find it worth it and it makes you feel ugly inside. How can you justify being better than either of them at that point. Just be positive and love yourself! Someone more deserving of you will come along then.

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Supporting SC1. It’s not a great reaction but it’s an honest one who someone who’s hurt and angry. Let her have her reaction to it and get through that before going into how to describe someone. Collectively, yes, I agree that it’s a hurtful insult to call someone those things but we’ve all said shit when we’re upset that was just that.

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OP thanks for posting this. As a woman who didn’t become self aware about my ego until more or less too late, I wish I knew about the need to sort that stuff out and how it impacts myself and others

I am wondering how we can all collectively change the conversation when it comes to this type of post/sentiment. How do we support each other but not bring each other down? Calling out other women seems to be giving men license to do the same.

likeupliftinghelpful

When people are hurt and their ego is bruised they are going to lash out. I wouldn’t turn it into some sort of commentary on society. That person is in a bad place and needs to figure out her shit.

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SC1 it’s one on many examples of this I see on a daily basis. Collectively it does create an impact.

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I love this post, thank you for calling out that this kind of body shaming talk about other women is unacceptable.

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I think some of this comes from a part of female empowerment that I find sort of ugly and unhelpful that centers on if someone doesn’t want you they are missing out/going to regret it/making a mistake/insecure. Sometimes we just aren’t right for someone, and sometimes they know it before we do. I think it’s better for folks to work to feel secure enough in themselves to let things go in this way (ie, things happen that you can’t control, don’t take it personally) rather than having to make it this whole “THEIR LOSS!!!” Drama. I don’t think that vibe is healthy.

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I think it’s a natural human reaction but it shouldn’t be! Men rarely have that reaction when a woman moves on, SHES a **ore or a B or whatever. Women always take the blame and men rarely ever do.

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