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I hear you. But... she’s probably full of hormones + anxious about her delivery, hoping she’s a good mom, etc. Just don’t let such stuff bother you. Honestly do whatever you want. I don’t have kids, I wanted them a few years ago but then I discovered independence and also an unstable marriage. I love my freedom and probably won’t have kids ever. And I am fine with what everyone thinks about me. I’m Indian so I’m judged even more. But, all cool. I literally do not care
Rising Star
Ordinarily I’d agree with you 100%, but consider the fact that you voiced over some pretty real fears to someone pregnant.
IMO it’s pretty rude and insensitive of you to bring up these types of fears to someone pregnant. It could have seemed like you were judging her for “bringing a child into this messed up world” and I can see how it may have been triggering to her.
You could have simply told her: that’s not true, i do want to nurture, but right now im worried for other reasons personal. There was absolutely no need to bring in the fact that the kid might have a disability or experience horrible things in this messed up world. Sure you have your right of speech or whatever but this is your family, and it seems like you guys still care for each other. This experience really isn’t about you, its about your sister. When your comes, she should he there for you 100% but for now it’s not your turn.
Pro
You might get some additional helpful answers if you post in the Childfree Bowl! https://joinfishbowl.com/bowl_oapwjf7vfd
Conversation Starter
OP - I always thought I couldn’t have kids and when I met my husband I went great lengths to make sure we have a kid. I am pregnant now however I have anxiety ( a lot) on how my kid will be , will she or he be okay, worried during every ultrasound and so freaked out about pregnancy. Don’t take it to heart , it’s your choice and your reason
This goes both ways really. People judge if u have too many kids and people judge if you don’t or not enough kids. Like it or not many people out there that will and u can’t control them. Right or wrong... it’s the world we live in. So put on you super hero cap and brush them off. Who cares what they think. Don’t let it get to u.
I dunno man, I am A-okay with the idea of not having kids anymore and it doesn’t have anything to do with me not being caring. People say hurtful things sometimes - don’t take it personally.
She is way too comfortable disrespecting you. She knew the comment she was making was a dig at you but she still chose to be passive aggressive and unfortunately sometimes the biggest offenders are your family. I think you need to begin setting boundaries with her and letting her know how her comments impact you. You were confiding in her a feeling that took courage to recognize and in response she shit on you verbally. That is not okay and she needs to understand that.
Rising Star
Do you want to nurture and care for others? In what capacity? I'm sure her words stung to hear it articulated in that way but unless you are in a caregiver position or have an interest, I don't see anything untrue about her statement. It doesn't make you selfish or uncaring as a person, just describes what you want to do (or more accurately not do) in your life.
How do I manage? By not giving AF! Who cares what anyone else thinks. Your choice to not have kids is yours alone.
I have never wanted kids and won't adjust how I feel to appease to anyone else. It is what it is