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It’s nothing wild but after being reassured by my manager I think it’s the right decision to speak to HR. The short version: She called me to complain about an assignment because she was “confused” even though there were written directions AND we’d had a discussion about it earlier in the week. Things went left when she started to get rude and I shut it down immediately saying I will not be spoken to that way because it was disrespectful.
She was shocked (I was kinda shocked myself lol) and then started to complain about how much she “does for my team”, then tried to turn it around and say that I was being AGGRESSIVE.
I was messaging my manager while the exchange was happening and called her immediately after I got off the phone. She was supportive and asked if she wanted her to speak to her and I said no. But after thinking about it over the weekend I can’t let it go. I’m both hurt and angry she would say something like that—you can’t say shit like that about black people in the office. Or in general. It can be so damaging to your reputation.
The worst part though is that I’m going to HR to protect myself. I don’t care that she cussed at me. I’m trying to get ahead of this because I’m scared this woman is going to blab about me to the office. I should be reporting her to HR because she’s a Karen but no, it’s more about damage control for my sake and it’s so fucked up.
Certainly get in front of reporting the issue before she attempts to muddy the waters and report you, rather that's to HR directly or your manager. Make sure to include date/time you communicated to your manager during the interaction. If you trust your manager, I would also advise her that you're going to HR and that you want her to address it as it may be a pattern with this rude lady. I hope everything goes well!
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Number 1 rule, have EVERYTHING in writing even conversation with HR
If you are able to record the conversation, I would suggest to play back and type up the conversation afterwards and email to self for record keeping in case you lose the recording.
If you are unable to record, have a notepad and take detailed notes.
When you talk to others about it remove the emotion. Emotions take away from your credibility. Stick to "she was highly unprofessional which hinders the firms...yadda yadda yadda." And as said before document, document, document.
Lol definitely cried during the call. So much for no emotions.
Please consider getting a lawyer to review and edit your written complaint before you send it to HR. They can also help you understand the impact of recording a conversation without mutual consent. My heart is with you - sincerely hope you pull through this. Good luck!
HR is not your friend or on your side. Just remember that.
They are there to protect the company, not employees.
I wish you luck! 💕
I'm going through that myself right now, but haven't gotten over the fear/trauma enough to tell HR. It Would be great to hear your experience on how your HR reacted
My manager was involved and parroted the same language to me as if it was valid feedback (she told my manager that I was terrorizing and threatening her and yes those were the exact words, she also asked my colleage why hadn't anybody corrected my "tone"). I'd never been alone with this woman in my life or had any isolated interaction with her, every interaction was always in the presence of others and in those meetings nobody else said I every acted unprofessional. I think she just doesn't like a black woman that outranks her and she is attempting to undermine me to my colleagues and manager. But I'm still just totally shattered by everything that happened and am having a difficult time moving forward.
What did she do or not do?
Curious to know this as well.
You got a lot of good advice, OP. I hope this went well for you.
So glad you're protecting yourself!
Yes I learned to REPORT EVERYTHING bc we can ignore things and be fine but then when they snitch on us for NO reason and we say what's been going on this whole time they're like "well why didn't you report it "
Really glad you are taking steps to protect yourself. I am sorry to hear that this happened. No one should have to go through this.
Good luck!! Sorry that happened to you!