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Who let the SEC in here?
Just straight up tell them that
"I'm sick, contagious, trying to recuperate, but I'm checking email so that I don't hold anyone else up"
Be honest. Tell your supervisor that you’re sick and don’t want anyone else to get sick, so you’re working remotely .
Tell them you’re hungover from the weekend but don’t mind checking emails if you have to
They’re here to audit all of us
Use the term “mildly explosive diarrhea”.
You don’t.. they’ll get the hint that you’re that sick.