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Add dummy meetings on your calendar, occasionally say “Hi this is X speaking, who else do we have on the line?” And then go totally silent, interrupted only through “Absolutely agree"
this is the move when WFH on a slow day. I have an "appointment" but really I'm at the pool until my next real meeting.
Fake conference calls with your buddies and then say random things out loud in your ‘telephone voice’ like “I saw this at my previous client as well. It helped to have a roadmap exercise at engagement kickoff to level expectations"
Throw out buzzwords like you're getting paid per buzzword.
I stare at the screen and furrow my brows like I’m thinking real hard, when in reality I’m on espn
Work at Protiviti
Nothing to elaborate about. Worked there 2 years, the name is not looked upon well because it’s all ex Arther Andersen folks. Low pay, nice people, known for risk and internal audit, heavy politics, struggles to grow in goo economy with favorable conditions for consulting spend. The above is why I left. Took me a while but finally was able to move to big 4
Listen to an audiobook while taking notes like you're on a conference call
You’re a damn genius
Privacy screen and do whatever the heck you want
You should be. The firm sees them as a way to protect the firm from prying eyes. I see them as a way to protect myself from prying eyes around the firm
Print something that looks important and somewhat relevant to your role(reference doc, white paper in your field, PPT or proposal) and randomly highlight stuff then type onto your computer (on chats with friends, random websites, etc)
Cool waste paper and destroy the environment 👏🏻
Make checklist (ideally they have already been completed) of things that must be finished in a visible place. Check them off through the day at random intervals.
Training on one monitor, Word doc on another, todo list on the last
web.whatsapp.com
Chat with your friends, but look like you are typing away on something super important.
There’s a whole episode of Seinfeld about this and Costanza said it best - look annoyed all the time and people will think you’re busy.
Oh wow. I was just genuinely annoyed.
I once took pictures of my eyes open and tapped it to the inside of my glasses so I could nap. key was to keep my head propped up in the direction of my laptop. worked a few times until someone actually came up to chat with me. ha!
Dramatically exit with your computer as if you’re late. Go back to the hotel and take a nap. “Offsite meetings"
1) Go into a just in time room/bookable conference room.
2) Book the whole room solid. Say you have a “All Hands Call”.
3) Have headphones on
4) Play Lady Gaga and emotionally lip sync to Lady Gaga.
5) When someone walks buy mouth to “can’t read my can’t read my, no you can’t read my pokerface"
Take 30mgs of Ritalin and I guarantee you’ll look busy!
Soma anyone?
Copy anything you want to read, like an article, and paste it into the notes section of the PowerPoint you’re working on. If someone passes by you don’t even have to alt tab. Just remember to delete it...
Genius
The fake excel work mode in Wold3D and other classic games.
D1 has opened a whole new world for me
I am type with intention but really I’m talking to my friends via Google Chat.
“Type with intention” lmao
http://pcottle.github.io/MSOutlookit/
😉
Look pissed off
All day every day
I’m actually pretty appalled at the complete lack of work ethic and commitment to clients that is being demonstrated on this thread. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Your employers and clients are paying you for your expertise and knowledge to be applied to real problems they’re facing on a daily basis - to give them less than 100% of your focus on their dime is equivalent to theft or embezzlement of funds under false pretenses
IBM 1, I bet it’s a mushroom themed party because fungis only