Coronavirus Work-life

Unmarried, but committed men: how do you feel when she starts bopping to "Put a Ring on It"?

funnylikeuplifting
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I left my ex when he said he didn’t want to get married because he didn’t see the point. I also don’t think a piece of paper means much but coincidentally, my now fiancé who shows much more care for me is willing to get married if it makes me happy and actually treats me like he wants me to be around for the long haul. Don’t settle for any non-committal clowns. Don’t let them try to reason out of giving you what you want.

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likeupliftingsmarthelpful
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Man here. There isn't a reason to marry if I don't want kids. Literally the only reason left is love. If she wants it and values it, I can do it to prove my commitment.

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Marriage means different things to different people. I know I want to be married to my gf one day, because it is important to me. Having husband and wife title to me solidifies our commitment and shows we are a team. Kind of hard to put into words, but I was happy when my gf told me she wants to talk about next steps and engagement. Long story short, you should be with someone who feels the same way about marriage.

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likeupliftinghelpful
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It was a gradual thing to get to that point, so it’s hard to pinpoint when exactly lol. But we both knew we wanted to get married and have kids one day, just didn’t know if we wanted that with each other until maybe about a year later. During that year we met each other’s families, friends, got into arguments and overcame them, learned more about each other, etc. I realized it’s easy to be with her. We click, our values match, we can be 100% ourselves around each other, and for the first time I saw a future with someone. I think that’s when I knew she was the one.

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I feel 10k coming out of my bank account

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likefunny
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I wish... Parents chipped in because more than half the guest were their friends, not mine. Asian here. The marriage was for me, the wedding was for them.

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My gf use to bring up marriage all the time and guess what...I married her. Best decision ever and looking back I regret waiting as long as we did. Don’t be afraid.

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likeupliftingsmart
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How long have you guys been together? If you know she’s not the one, please end it now.

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likesmart
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Ugh that pains me OP. Save yourself more time and future heartache :(

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I've asked my girlfriend what a legally binding contract will do to improve our relationship and she never has a good answer.

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likefunny
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Give her security that you actively want to share the risk of starting a family and building a life together? The reality is that the woman bears most of the physical and economic risk here. Failure to acknowledge that is a dick move. Marriage should never be used to try and improve a relationship, but an unwillingness to commit long term will definitely damage one.

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likeuplifting
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I explain how marriage is an outdated legal and social construct and I'm glad our relationship has evolved beyond it. And I'm so proud that she doesn't want to waste our precious time and hard earned money on a single party and a wedding ring, but rather on meaningful things. At least that's what I say to myself in this hypothetical situation.

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likefunnysmart
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Random and at least 5 years away from getting married but has anyone here not had a wedding and gotten married? I feel like I would rather take that money and blow it on a long honeymoon traveling the world or something or a vacation house

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Exit stage left. I need more time.

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funnylike
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Anxious.

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My bf didn't want to get married when he first met me, and after 3 years he's the one who bringing it up and talk about what we will do on our wedding. It might be that you're not ready or maybe the person is not right for you. In my bf case, the person wasn't right for him until he met me (sounds very confident but he told me this). I also listed things why I want marriage but that's a whole other thing.

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Can y’all just watch HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU? #problemsolved

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Run

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The institution of marriage was created so that there will be a stable workforce and defined gender roles. Families also had to have children so that they could carry their weight on the farms etc. This is now very outdated: you don’t need marriage or children to have an amazing life. Those things are completely optional and up to the couples to decide: you can be married with children, you can have children and not be married, you can not have children and not be married and all are ✅ I’m female, but unfortunately I had to end 4 relationships because the people would propose and maybe it was them that I didn’t see forever with, but I think for me it’s mostly the idea. I don’t even like weddings.

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This is exactly me. I'm hoping to find someone who wants to float indefinitely towards 'maybe' with no plan, expectations, or governing rules of how it should be. Just a life of adventures, memories, and silly moments.

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Get the hell out of there

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My wife is so happy she now has a legal binding document that enforces me to treat her well, love and respect her.

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Do you mean “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé? Lmao

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likefunny
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GTFO. She’s probably cheating anyway. If you liked it that much, well you know.

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*Becomes less committed

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likefunny
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Oh no nooo, no no nooo no no nooo, no no no!

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