{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Unpopular opinion. I’m a young woman of color. I think we’re all focusing on race when it comes to violence in America when the issue is actually with men. Men of all colors have been terrorizing America yet everyone is arguing about white supremacy.", "post_id": "605accfe2e54e400241a344f", "reply_count": 286, "vote_count": 118, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

Unpopular opinion. I’m a young woman of color. I think we’re all focusing on race when it comes to violence in America when the issue is actually with men. Men of all colors have been terrorizing America yet everyone is arguing about white supremacy.

likefunnysmart
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

I really don’t think OP’s intention was to blame or shame anyone. If we agree that as a society we’d like to have fewer mass shootings and other violent crimes, then it’s entirely reasonable to look at the data to better frame the problem statement and begin to design solutions. I think the comments here deflecting and redirecting blame are just another symptom of the problem. Toxic masculinity makes it difficult for men to grapple with their emotions in healthy ways. There’s a lot we can all do to help begin to solve this problem. Most of us know men and there are ways to gently encourage them that there is space for them to express emotions. Many of us will raise boys and there is a great opportunity there to demonstrate that they don’t have to be tough to be a Man. We need to reframe masculinity in our culture, and we are empowered to do so. Leaders can speak this way in public, we can speak this way in our homes, offices, schools, etc. It is so, so important to remember that we have the power to change things, not by blame and shame but by rallying around a shared truth and acting on that knowledge in a way that is solution-oriented and compassionate to all.

likesmart

Racism is very real. But men are the ones violently acting out about it. I’d rather a racist Karen say mean things than a white, black, or Hispanic man hit me in the face with a crowbar for being Asian

like

It’s funny how so many people in this bowl of all places don’t know how to deal with probabilities and trends. It’s true that it is much more likely that a male committed violence. It does not follow that we are asking for something to be done to all males. What it does do is potentially halve the cost (for starters) of potential solutions since addressing females would not be efficient in terms of reducing violence. I say potentially because mothers may have a role to play in radicalizing their male children to commit violence against minorities (or other minorities, they themselves may be minorities too).

like
Recent IconRecent

Two words: white men

likefunnysmart

My male boss is a pain, never seen a more super petty human in my entire career. He is inconsistent and blocks opportunities for me to add value cos he fears I may be more popular and take his job. I am just 4 months in and I am frustrated. He even listens to my calls and sees my teams messages, he is not smart so sometimes he inadvertently references things I discuss over calls on chat. I feel stuck

like

I think about this all the time. Men commit the vast majority of crimes across all categories, in all countries and for all years on record. That’s so clearly a significant fact with ramifications on how we should address toxic masculinity, the need for women in leadership, etc., yet you rarely hear men or women in power talk about it.

likefunnysmart

It’s only natural because we over reward aggression when it’s not actually beneficial which is exactly what feminists have been saying. Incredible.

Agree. Between 1982 and March 2021, 66 out of the 121 mass shootings in the United States were carried out by white shooters. By comparison, the perpetrator was African American in 21 mass shootings, and Latino in 10. When calculated as percentages, this amounts to 54 percent, 17 percent and eight percent respectively. Therefore, the racial distribution of mass shootings mirrors the racial distribution of the U.S. population as a whole. Sad that just because this doesn't fit a narrative it is ignored.

likesmart

Everyone in that pic is a man

like

Struck a nerve with LOT of men on this one, OP!

likesmartfunny

BCG1 I agree with almost everything you’re saying, but you can 100% be racist against white people. Defining racism as a social construct that oppresses marginalized groups is a way of not being comfortable with the original definition - hating anyone because of the color of their skin, no matter what that color is. So yeah, reverse racism isn’t a thing because racism exists against all colors and peoples. Our system just disproportionately punishes certain groups for that hate.

Let’s take another step back, the problem is with humans. All humans are terrible. Actually come to think of it, all livings things are terrible.

likehelpfulfunny

They commit other crimes at much higher rates. Emotional abuse is a thing and it’s very much destructive. What you’re espousing is some type of female supremacy. Guess what the side who thinks they are supreme always attempts to do with those who are not?

likefunny

89.5% of homicide are done by men 98.9% of rapists are men 79.7% of domestic violences to family and children are carried out by men 64/65 of mass shooting are done by men

likesmart

The whole point is that men cannot process their emotions and act out violently. We shouldn’t be ignoring emotions

like

Let’s just assume that your argument is correct and men are at fault. What does this accomplish? All it serves it to divide us further. And if mental health is what’s motivating men to perpetrate violence, I am sure that women are similarly impacted although it may not manifest in the same way

likefunny

We could start with how we raise and socialize boys. Maybe condition them to embrace their feelings and learn how to express those feelings in a healthy way. Maybe teach them that women do not exist for them so that when they don’t get the attention they think they deserve, they don’t act out with violence.

like

Lmao all these men in the comments acting like we don’t live in a patriarchal society where everyone has internalized sexism and misogyny. All this policing of women who are calling this out, instead of directing that towards the men committing mass shootings and violent crimes 🤡.

likesmart

C10, I don’t want a medal and I’m not doing the bare minimum, read my post. I’m also not tone policing women. I’m making an argument that tone and communication matter when it comes to issues of societal change because underlying change is changing minds. I feel strongly about my argument as a larger societal issue. Engage in the argument with me or not . So far you’ve labeled me and accused me of doing things I’m not doing. I don’t really care on an individual level, but IMO the behavior you exhibit does more to divide people and push them away from hearing otherwise good arguments...

likehelpful

Agreed but not mutually exclusive - there are many problems of which gender and race both play conflating roles

like

Crime statistics are actually down a lot. It's more the media creating a panic than anything else, speaking as a person of color.

like

Not true in major cities like nyc and sf

like

I think we can all agree the worst is Polynesian men under 5'10 with one front tooth missing

likefunny

Hey everything OP hit the nail on this one. It’s all men’s fault. Problem solved!

likefunny

Your gender fluctuates on the day to day, so these stats are unreliable

like

I agree with this. If mass shooters were heavily weighted to any demographic I think it would be important to examine why this is happening. I would most definitely be wanting some root cause analysis if mass shooters were all elderly women, so why aren’t we doing the same thing with young men?

likesmart

The unsub is white male...

Post Photo
likefunny

Thank you 😂

Meh, I agree and disagree. This is where intersectionality needs to be taken into consideration

likesmart

Wait. Are you saying race is not the only lens with which we should be viewing issues?

like

I’ve said this a couple times in individual replies so I’d like to reiterate here. I don’t by any means think that women are not at fault, not racist, not evil etc - they just act on it differently. Exhibit A: woman using racial slurs in NY coffee shop a few days ago. Exhibit B: all the anti Asian violence committed by men and the latest shootings committed by men. Wouldn’t you rather have A over B? Isn’t it funny that we have a name for Karens but not for when men kill, rape, or assault us?

likesmart

SC8 is that REALLY your reply? “It’s happened throughout history”... Implying “therefore it is not a problem”? Wow. Just wow.

like

GeNdER iS a sOcIAL cOnSTruCT

likefunny

But OP never said gender was a social construct....

like

This is super misandrist. You would not make a broad claim like about a race, because it would be racist. Also, this is female superiority, you’re saying females do not do evil. While the majority of reported violent crimes are perpetuated by men. Women lead the way in fraud and other such crimes and I would be guessing on emotional harm done as well. We are all capable of evil and do so fairly evenly.

funnylikehelpful

Yes PwC 3! It is possible to acknowledge the statistics and admit that many of these crimes are disproportionately committed by men without being personally offended. It is also possible to agree that OP is raising a good point around WHY this is the case and agreeing that it is helpful to ask these questions. What is NOT helpful is statements like “but women do X”. Why is it that so many men get defensive in these conversations and try to put down women instead of acknowledging the facts and trying to further the conversation?

like

Related Posts

Anyone here working in Dublin? How is the working culture in Ireland for the Consulting Firms (both big ones and Salesforce boutiques)?

like

I’m waiting for the work from home email, like a kid waiting for a snow day announcement.

like

Anybody at Advisory Board down to talk about Austin office/maybe drop me a referral? Would really like to move out there!

like

Looking for a good company to move to in order to have a baby and a good work-life balance. Don't really care about the pay as long as it's not lower than 50K in Florida. Any good firms you know that offer that?

like

McKinsey Implementation Consultants - Healthcare Specific : Keep seeing this pop up on my radar via LinkedIn and am very intrigued. Any insider scoop on types of engagements, length, etc.

like

Hi! Has anyone completed the diversity and inclusion certificate online through Cornell university? Thoughts? Worth it? Helpful in your career? Thanks!!

like

So. Much. Diversity.

Post Photo
likefunnysmartuplifting

What apps/systems do you use to keep track of all your projects and tasks for the various matters you're working on? I recently took on a more senior associate role and am juggling even more projects and assignments than before. I want to make sure I am putting my best foot forward and keeping track of everything I'm juggling so I don't drop something by accident.

like

Posted yesterday about getting into a wreck. My insurance has determined that I was not at fault. So the other insurance will likely pay. Do I ask them to reimburse me for the cars diminished value ??

like

What is the federal parental leave policy? I’m new to government and having a baby soon. I know we’re given 12 weeks and have to sign an agreement to work 12 weeks after we return but are there other stipulations to a claw back period or how long we had to be at the agency first?

like

Best consulting firms for real inclusion?

funny

We are calling “sexual harassment” “gender bias” now. FYI

Just found out I’m pregnant (only 5 weeks so still a bit to go before I tell anyone really). After I’m farther along and everything is confirmed with doctors, when do I start telling people at work? Due in mid May.

like

16w pregnant w/ 2nd child and have an interview for a job I want. When should I tell the potential employer? I know it’s illegal to discriminate...but also want to be strategic. Any advice?

Maternity leave is ending soon and we'll be hiring a nanny. Any recommendations on services to facilitate payroll, taxes, workers comp? Would love to hear examples of what people are using. Thanks.

like

How much would leaving big law be worth to you? I.e. how much of a pay cut would you take to leave (assume comparable work with a much better culture and hours requirement).

like

Expecting an offer for an SAE position in the next few days! What salary should I expect and negotiate for? I have 2.5 years experience in account management and live in Chicago

like

4.5 YOE in NYC, 2 years were in consulting and 2.5 in industry. What salary range (base and TC) can I expect for an exit opp?

like

Earlier this week I was so busy I only pumped three times when I normally pump 6 times. Since then my milk supply fell drastically where I only pump 2 oz each session even if I pump 30 minutes when before I’d be pumping 3.5-5 oz in 15, and it’s been 4 days already. I know it’s silly but I feel sad thinking I won’t be able to feed my baby sufficiently with breastmilk anymore. I’ll supplement but I felt happy being able to provide full breastmilk before and feel a sense of loss now. Just venting

like

Is taking a new role focused on email copywriting (my background is mainly digital and social currently) taking a step back career-wise? Pay increase is wonderful and great client to add to my book. But curious since I’m still a junior if this move will hinder my agency trajectory to get to mid, senior, etc. Would love to get broadcast and more 360 campaign experience.

like

Additional Posts

Any one on bench on pandemic more than two months ?

like

What’s a typical salary for an acd in philly?

like

I filed prevailing wages in June this year under H1b. When would I expect to receive response from DOL?

like

I think I asked for too low of a salary during initial interviews elsewhere. The recruiter never told me the band either. About to go into second round. Is there still a chance to ask for more?

like

I know my boss is interviewing. And I'm not surprised that nobody will hire him. But, I sure wish someone would!

likefunny

I’m done trying to compensate for a broken system. I know it means that the kids will suffer from a substandard education, but as long as they think we will pick up the slack it will never change.

like

Was reached out to by a Vynamic recruiter Really want to get into healthcare-specific consulting, but would love to move into this space along with a bump. Currently make $120k base ~10k bonus per year with 4.5 YOE. Anyone know of Vynamic’s average comp at the Manager level & if I can expect an increase?

like

Anyone here working in Dublin? How is the working culture in Ireland for the Consulting Firms (both big ones and Salesforce boutiques)?

like

What’s everyone’s favorite zoom background?

like

Is there a way where you can have a zoom lesson while doing an interactive pear deck? Is there a way to do a poll?

like

Per diem dinner allowance for Orlando at KPMG seems low at $33. That city has become much more expensive especially since it’s essentially a resort town. What do other firms allow?

like

I’m waiting for the work from home email, like a kid waiting for a snow day announcement.

like

First M&A day 1 readiness project and its killing me but I absolutely love it...

like

Qualifying for elite status is like the myth of Sisyphus - we spend all year rolling our stone up the hill then it's back to the base. #notevengoldyet

like

Was a bitch? My coworker routinely asks me how I am doing, what I’m working on, if everything is ok, joking that I’m starting my week on Wednesday because I’ve been remote for two days, etc etc. I find it distracting and invasive so today I told them to please stop asking questions that put me on the spot. Was I a bitch?

like

New client project requires a drug test 😳. Never had this situation before.

like

ACN people- how many people do you think comprise a "deep" bench?

like

Anybody at Advisory Board down to talk about Austin office/maybe drop me a referral? Would really like to move out there!

like

Anyone wanna share the Delta fast track link? My firm doesn't have it 😒

like

What is the best credit card to get as a new associate with no credit or past credit card?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal