Update: Not sure if you saw my other post, but I've come clean to my girlfriend about my actual salary ($80K vs. the $270k I lied to her about). So, she asked for some time away to think about things, which is totally fair. She was shocked, disgusted, and disappointed. But I think I still have a chance. Anyways, just sharing because so many folks were giving me great advice. I've given her space and I'm heartbroken but I know it's for the best.
Good luck OP, you did the right thing.
I wasn’t in the original post but there was some fantastic advice there. I’m glad you had the courage to come clean even knowing the outcome might not be good. Sending you my best wishes
Good decision bro, even if it hurts, that's what builds a strong personality
Thanks D1, trying to get there!
Can you link the previous post here?
Yup thats the one
I applaud your courage and your will in trying hard to get onto the road to honesty!
Hopefully she will realize that you did the right thing for both of you. But if she breaks up with you because of this, you should at least feel good that you are now at peace with yourself, and you can move on to pursue a more peaceful life without any guilt everyday when looking into the mirrors. Inner peace - that's the most important part for you.
Best wishes! And if she does turn around, share the news with us.
I know that wasn’t easy but I am proud of you.
I am proud as well!
I'm personally surprised her reaction was disgust, I think everyone can relate to exaggerating something like that at some point. Wishing you the best op
Yeah 5 years is a different story, i didn't realize that. That part of the story I'm referring to is that he majorly exaggerated to a friend. This happens, but clearly such matters should be completely replaced with the truth before you get into a serious relationship.
OP maybe it’s in your other post but why did you lie in the first place? To me it reads as low self esteem, which I hope you are tackling separately.
Realized it was insecurities and built up frustrations
You can’t build any relationship on lies. Learn from it. If I was lied to like this I would also have pause about a relationship with someone as well because what would they lie about next?
Thanks for the update! I was wondering what had happened haha, glad you did the right thing! hope she gives you another chance... if she does, don't blow it please. Good luck!
I'm curious if she said she was shocked, disgusted, & disappointed or if she was shocked, and you inferred that she was disgusted and disappointed?
Still though, good for you for having that hard conversation.
So is she a gold digger
@A1, thanks I dont even have the energy to respond to trolls
Better to come clean now than to let the lie continue. I know it stinks but this will be better for both of you in the long run. Keep us posted.
Thanks M1!
She is disgusted about what ? Does she earns? Or she was boosting about your salary to her friends ??? I feel you coming clean is great. Take lot of courage . Wish you best ahead.
Disgusted about being lied to for 5 years, probably
Good for you!! What will be will be.
You did the right thing and she’ll come around. It’s hurting to know your partner lied but give her some time to wrap her head around it and it’ll be fine.
Thank you! I think so too, I have hope 😭
they shouldn't care what salary you're making should only care about you as a person but obviously they are nothing more than a gold digger
If you actually read the posts, you would know it’s the fact that OP lied for 5 years, which is in fact about them as a person. Not that she’s a gold digger
Good for you. Doing the right thing late is still doing the right thing; on the plus side, you've also shown her you're willing to come clean even when it hurts alot. That's worth something. And you'll also know whether she was in love with the idea of dating a salary, and not a person.
Well done, now set your goal and work hard to double your salary in 5 years, you'll either know if she is a keeper or digger. Either way it will only do you good.
Or you know… lying tends to be a poor way to build the foundation of a relationship.