Very curious- do people see it as racist for a white male to not be attracted to black males? They have no issues with black gay males, become friends with them, treat them equally- but sexually aren’t attracted to them. Thoughts?

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A bunch of gays will see it as racist, but then those same group will see the opposite as fetishizing. Gay community will find a way to judge you :)

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It’s not “but” - the central thesis for both is the same: reducing your decision to a phenotype one way or the other

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Just looking for a nice, loyal, top - I’ll take any color 🙋🏻‍♂️

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That’s the right attitude!

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I am a POC and I have dealt with a lot of "it's just a preference" Gays. Initially it used to upset me a lot because I have a a physically attractive body in general. It depends a lot on how the interaction goes. People have blocked me after sending pics saying sorry not my type, that's rude. Some people have went ahead and assumed if I am cut/uncut and went ahead with making judgement about what's wrong and right. That's rude too. IMO I feel it's their loss because they lost out on some mind blowing sex and for me my goal is to date a good hearted person and someone who does/says things like that is a big red flag and I would anyway never date someone like that apart from a casual hookup or two. Even if you are not sexually attracted to someone but if you are nice who knows you can make a good friend (maybe with benefits).

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If you’ve never challenged the idea of how you landed on what you’re ‘attracted to’, you don’t know how your preferences were formed. So at some level, your dismissal of entire races of people is a conditioned response, based on, guess what?

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I personally don’t think it’s offensive. I know people will disagree with me and call it racist, but I don’t find it different from people not being attracted to certain body types, ages, levels of natural hair etc. People like what they like. As long as they’re not rude about it, it doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.

As a side note, yes I’m white, but have encountered plenty of people who don’t talk to me because of some facet of my appearance (don’t like white guys, don’t like guys my age, don’t like thin framed guys, etc.) and I may find it disappointing but I survive.

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Perspectives and perceptions change when shoes are switched. When it happens to you, you feel bad but with others you simply do not see it as offensive. Interestingly that is how the world works. Glad that this pride these conversations are happening and thanks to the pandemic people got some time to ponder over lol, otherwise this year too these things would have gone under the rug.

It’s definitely racist but I prefer for folks to be upfront about it. Gays love the Black aesthetic and their “inner Black woman” but do not actually love Black people, love that for y’all. Keep that same energy.

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“Preferences” are rooted in bias; maybe not overt intentional bias, but implicit biases. What we find “beautiful” “attractive” etc has a lot to do with our conditioning..not just “nature”

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That is true, and hey there is a term for that : Hypocrisy. All those guys will march for BLM, but when it comes to sheets, ‘sorry, yo that ain’t gonna happen’

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Are you the OW one who is the trump supporter and wanted to zoom call and debate?

Share the link. I wanna see

You think Matthew James isn’t hot?? He hot as fuuuck

No, because I don’t find white males remotely attractive.

🤷🏾‍♂️

I’m a white male who is attracted to all, but often date black men. I really think you like what you like sexually, and we shouldn’t feel bad about it as long as were respectful to all.. Life as a gay man is fucked up enough as it is, why do we have to make ourselves feel bad about what we are attracted to? Now, if all you do is hang out with other white gay men and have reached your 30s without a diverse network of gay friends then we may have an issue here.

I found this post quite helpful in better understanding and articulating a response to this question:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CCEYrQIFXGd/?igshid=pnrrmu0yz7gg

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