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Hi, My joining is on 12th December. When can I expect Onboarding details mail and stuff?
I have been told that it arrives two days before joining.
I have to relocate to join and have been told by the team that travel desk will contact and arrange for that.
Kindly provide info on this.
Thanks in advance!
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....town
Papa has a business and mum’s a housewife
Brother was working for a big firm but he never liked working and left his job
Now supposedly he is helping dad in his business which he isn’t actually rather destroying whatever dad had built
He acts as if he is the head of the family and treat our parents like they are his workers
Fights with them every single day for stupid reasons
He is so much in his head as if he is the king of the town
He was not this person but for past couple of years he turned out to be a completely diff personality
He scares them with suicide threats
My parents being the loving parents that they are get scared and agree to whatever he says
Parents are scared to go against him for very small things
I feel my brother needs to go see a shrink but in India no one goes to a therapy unless you are mad and he is not going to agree to it so that’s completely out of the equation.
He doesn’t talk to me too about what’s he thinking or anything for that matter
Parents cry so often talking to me
I can’t see my parents in pain
They are very orthodox and have that societal fear and want him to be married and get settled and all
I want them to stay with me but they won’t leave him until he is not married (which he is not agreeing to) and settled because they think he is their responsibility.
I feel another reason for them not coming and staying with me is that they don’t want to be a burden on me while I am struggling and their argument is that anyways ultimately they will have to go back to India no matter what even if they come for sometime
I have begged them to at least come and visit me but they just won’t until my brother is married.
Brother has spoiled his own life and our parents too
I can not forgive him for treating mom dad like he do
I have no control over the situation and it’s driving me crazy
Don’t know what to do 😭😢😢
Please no hate comments or making fun of the situation.
Just looking for some comfort as it’s killing me inside for not being able to help my parents
Chief
1. Your parents need to take a firm stand about family issues. My mom would kick me out if I talk back to her.
2. Business runs on profit, if he not making profit then he has to find an alternative and your dad to take over again.
3. It might be better if you talk to him to find what changed him in last two years? He might open up in front of an elder sister than parents.
4. Have you explored an option of calling him here than calling your parents ? (Out of box thinking might be)
Thanks EY2
It is really hard to do that but I am definitely going to try it now
Stay strong! Sorry that you have to go through this. Sending you hugs 🤗 dm anytime if you want an outlet. Hang in there. Speak to your parents as a support and outlet as much as you. Be patient! Keep all communication open even with your brother.
Dm me too if you like op. I can at least listen.
OP - So sorry to know what you're going through. EY2 has offered good advice. I too think it's worth trying asking your brother to visit you and connecting with him. Siblings have a better understanding of each other than parents have of their children. Try to find out why your brother behaves this way. There could be issues he's repressed that cause such behavior or it could be a disorder. Try to "sell" him therapy as just conversations with a professional who makes one think logically about problems and solutions. I really hope it gets better for you and your family. DM anytime you want to talk or just vent.
I’m sorry OP to hear this. It is heartbreaking to be in this unfortunate situation. I’d only suggest to be the voice of reason instead of being the mediator. I was in a similar situation but nothing compared to what you said. Good luck.
Pro
OP - incredibly sorry for what you’re going through. I hope things improve and you feel better soon. My 2 cents would be you please keep calm and composed. Loads of love ❤️
Dm me if you need a listening ear! I feel so terrible about your situation.. no parent should have to go through such circumstances when it’s close to retirement. I feel for them and can understand your pain as my moms parents had a similar experience. I know how it is and hoping things get better for you ❤️
OP convince your parents not to dip into retirement funds . That would be a double whammy.
Sorry to hear that Op. had a similar situation in the family. You need to counsel your parents to not tolerate such behavior. Please seek medical help. Have your brother travel. Now is not the situation to do that I guess but once this covid shit settles down have him travel across the world by himself. Somehow seduce him into the world outside
Pro
I’m so sorry, OP. I don’t know what to say.
Chief
OP, so very sorry to hear about your situation. Since your brother is not listening to you and your parents are not willing to come here, seems to me that the only way to get everyone at the table talking it out would be for you to take the first flight out when this lockdown ends and India allows incoming flights. Might be a while though since there's bound to be a rush as soon as flights open up. Alternatively, why don't you all do a video chat over whatsapp? Will your brother agree to that or a zoom call?
OP, so sorry that you and your parents are going through this. I have seen some cases like this with relatives, extended family etc.. Here’s my 2 cents and dm me if you want to talk. This is in addition to what others have suggested.
1. Don’t cut your lines with your brother, be patient and try to get through him with good words and offering help.
2. May be, can u travel to India and convince him to see a therapist so u can go in along with him to make him feel comfortable?
3. What is his standing on getting married? Is he willing & looking? My kind advise, don’t force him into marriage or even let him get married until he has a clear path for his future and mends his path. Or the girl who comes into the family will suffer. Thats an unforgivable sin on your entire family. Parents think people change when they are married but in most cases it only gets worse. The suffering and pain will only increase with more people added to the family. I am telling this with a first hand experience as we have gone through this in our own family. Don’t let your parents think marriage is their responsibility in this 21st century nor feel pressured by society.
4. Did u see this kind of behaviour in any of your extended family members? Uncles, aunts, previous generations from both u r maternal and paternal side? If yes, this could hold some clues.
5. Did you see this kind of behaviour as he grew up. Any flags? It shouldn’t have changed all of a sudden in last two years or so without any reason.
6. Does he have close friends & ex colleagues? if yes, do u know any of them? May be talking to them will help in understanding whats transpiring this.
7. Approach the problem logically than emotionally. Emotional dealing will only drain u and u r family out.
I hope this is a temporary storm and things will get calmer with peace and happiness.
Chief
I think #1 is really important
Sorry to hear OP. Is there someone else he looks up to (friend or family) as a mentor that he could listen to? That might be an option to get something into his head.
Rising Star
Maybe your brother is bipolar? My uncle was bipolar, and spent his inheritance on a failed car dealership business. He could not hold down a job. You need to “fire” your brother and support your parents.