{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Vulnerable post: how do I stop overpromising and underdelivering? I have always been very mature, motivated and focused. I would start 10 things and maybe finish 9. But it was energy/sprint. As a manager and above, I feel I have no solid foundation. I have a ton of accomplishments, which means I’m not a complete loss to project management but I feel like I’m constantly failing to meet my expectations and/or the big goals I commit to. Big goals engage but paralyze me. Small bites don’t motivate", "post_id": "5f182f05258772002fb1a3c4", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 9, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Vulnerable post: how do I stop overpromising and underdelivering? I have always been very mature, motivated and focused. I would start 10 things and maybe finish 9. But it was energy/sprint. As a manager and above, I feel I have no solid foundation. I have a ton of accomplishments, which means I’m not a complete loss to project management but I feel like I’m constantly failing to meet my expectations and/or the big goals I commit to. Big goals engage but paralyze me. Small bites don’t motivate

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I would recommend looking up ADHD symptoms in women/adults. What you are describing may be a symptom. I know this because I have the same issue. ADHD can present itself very differently in women. I didn’t realize that I had it until I was an adult because I was when I was in school, I could just give it 60% and still do well. I have a great memory so I could just Cram at the last minute (when adrenaline kicked in) and still get As. Didn’t realize that I was pretty much incapable of giving 100% until I was studying for my MBA while working full time. I would find myself chore-crastinsting when I needed to be studying because I didn’t know where to start.

That feeling of being paralyzed because you don’t know where you start is a classic symptom...

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Still experimenting but I think understanding the symptoms and “why your brain is the way it is” really helps. Many successful women with ADHD report guilt / shame as a huge issue in their life — they want to be organized and not procrastinate but they physically can’t make themselves do it. Many overcommit because they require external stimuli to get things done. They have a love-hate relationship with routine — they know that they need it in their life but the minute they “break it,” they consider themselves a failure and abandon it all together.

So I think it is important to be patient with yourself and forgive yourself when things don’t go as planned — look where you self sabotage and build in safeguards. Talk to loved ones or trusted colleagues about it and ask them to help you be accountable. Tell your work friend that you promise to get them the slide by tomorrow morning and make sure they give you a (well-deserved) hard time if you don’t. Sign up for work-out classes with a friend that you won’t disappoint by bailing. Find ways to hack your shortcomings and understand that there is a lot about ADHD that makes you successful as well. And look up tips and tricks on Pinterest and TikTok. Super helpful and motivating!

Wow... I have this exact issue too and I’m considering either life coach or career coach. It is something where I lose complete confidence in myself and my ability and I can’t deliver, even tho I know exactly what to do. Seriously look into some kind of coaching to help you get past it. Thank you for sharing OP.

smart

I have worked with coaches and I love it. For me, their value add has been accountability. What I need the most is substantial mindset shift to the point where I change this behavior at its root cause. That also shows I want to solve it all and in “Addicted to Unhappiness” the authors talk about how setbacks are normal and no change is feasible to be 100% proof.

OP is it possible you might be depressed? Or be suffering from anxiety?

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Very possible!

Not sure am understanding right. You seem to be saying that you’re motivated and finish tasks and at the same time saying small goals don’t motivate and therefore you’re underdelivering. Seems like you’re a problem solver who likes to solve complex problems but when you’ve solved it in your head, you want to move on. Is this what you’re getting at?

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Too big projects overwhelm. Chunk it up and not engaging at all.

I don’t think OP has ADHD or depression...
Maybe she is just very self-conscious and has great expectations of what she should be able to do regarding how she likes to work and being stimulated by interesting projects. And at the same time she is being overwhelmed by the amount if things she should master to do so, as she is self-conscious.
I would recommand to keep learning as much as you can, and be ok with the fact you can’t achieve everything at once.
Maybe try to plan more and prioritize your goals and actions? And don’t be to hard on yourself, if your able to accomplish 9 things out of 10, that’s actually pretty great.

helpful

I actually do that as well and am constantly worried that I won’t perform as I should. I look up to my colleagues who succeed and try to learn from them. I also take a look to my colleagues that don’t really perform and it’s a great reminder that I am not as bad as I think.
Hold on to the good feedbaks you receive to acknowledge your abilities and strenghts.

uplifting

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