{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Was going to move back home with my parents to save money during this pandemic and pay off my student loans. Parents told me they were going to charge me rent. \nGuess who’s not moving back home with their parents anymore (me) . If I’m paying rent might as well get my own place.", "post_id": "5f491c5d8d7c2800229cb437", "reply_count": 90, "vote_count": 12, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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Was going to move back home with my parents to save money during this pandemic and pay off my student loans. Parents told me they were going to charge me rent.
Guess who’s not moving back home with their parents anymore (me) . If I’m paying rent might as well get my own place.

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For the record this “live at home” culture is a relatively new feature in the US. When wages stagnate for decades, the cost of housing increases disproportionately, and the value of your college degree is diluted by the number of people obtaining one, you aren’t exactly left with many options (i know this isn’t the reality for many of the folks with generational wealth or overachievers on this app) but to be able to make it, from scratch, in a HCOL city where the job opportunities live, it’s rough.

Parenting in the US for decades has been based around raising your children to become independent - that’s just a cultural pillar here that isn’t going to change any time soon. Most reasonable parents are willing and able to take children back in to their homes if they know it’s temporary, the child is demonstrating effort to get out / stop leeching off of them, and/or some kind of monetary or non-monetary compensation (paying rent, doing chores, etc). The big difference from the US and most other developed countries that forces this dynamic is our geographic footprint and population distribution.

I recently moved in with my white parents for similar reasons. I’m paying 300$ a month. I’m happy because it’s FAR below market prices allowing me to still save aggressively. My parents have very little and it would be absurd for me to not alleviate the burden of another adult in a home (food, utilities, use of vehicle etc...)

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OP will ignore comments like this that go against their “accepted by most here” racism.

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I didn't grow up in America. What's with paying your own parents rent? Seems like hyper commodification of life where every aspect is viewed through a transactional lens for even something as sacred as a parent child relationship. Where I'm from parents beg their kids to come live with them and vice versa. Paying rent, especially on a house that's paid off makes no sense. Sure, help pay off the mortgage if they have one and you're living there, but paying rent is absurd. Feels like your parents love money more than your company

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This thread is complete bullshit. I’m super white and currently living with my super white parents during Corona, with my wife too, and they aren’t charging rent. Why y’all gotta do the “white people like this” thing. This dude’s parents could have said they’re charging him rent for 1000 reasons and you, without any information, are saying it’s Bc they are hyper capitalist transactional parents who don’t love to see their kid.

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This is not going to go as you expected OP.

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It’s a privilege not to pay your parents rent. Not a right. Gotta be grateful if you are given such a luxury

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That’s why unless I’ve lost my job I wouldn’t live with my parents. If they didn’t have me pay rent I would feel weird and like I should at least offer and then I wouldn’t know how much, and why not live by myself or roommates?

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I’m South-Asian American and my parents would feel shocked and insulted if I so much as offered to pay them rent or contribute anything financially to the household.

In my opinion, the implication with asking for rent (whether true or not) is that “we don’t want you around unless you pay us a monthly fee.”

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Surprised by the responses. Makes sense in white American culture where everything is highly transactional. Maybe I find this odd because I’m Latino and we don’t operate like this normally.

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OP, I’m with you haha. People on this app posting sometimes are just weird people who sort of want to attack any kind of “privilege”.

Do you make more than your parents?

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Oh ya I’m grabbing my popcorn for this one

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This is 100% not normal, usual, or common behavior for Latinos. White people yes I’m aware you operate like this.

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Congrats on being an expert on us "whites".

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Well are they charging a lot? I’d rather pay parents than some stranger

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Your parents really love you.

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This is mean. Things are tight for people.

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2 questions. Do they know why you want to move home? How much rent?

Maybe they're willing to help but it's not outrageous if they're just looking for you to contribute to the added expenses of you being home. Parents may be foreseeing a lot of time providing maid services if you move home.

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Yeah I get this but OP doesn't have it that bad. We don't have all the details as to why his parents are asking for rent. Could be anything.

I find it hard to sympathize based on the tone esp when I know people like a friend who has grown up verbally abused at best but now supports her family. Pays their rent, groceries, bills, other needs, and provides allowance. These are things that they demand while not providing much of a loving family in return. Instead, they keep comparing different things that other people's kids do for them and expect all to be combined in my friend. I get not all families are as willing to embrace their kids as dependents for life. Mine are and family is family but I still don't treat it as something they owe me. If anything, I owe them for getting me as far as I have gotten.

I think contributing to utilities and food is reasonable but not really the “rent” part.

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Wow. Just straight to the point racist OP. What does white American culture have to do with your latinx parents charging you rent?

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Seriously. Wtf

Hot take, OP could be a slob, the parents have a small place and converted their old bedroom to an office/shared space, or maybe they just enjoy their privacy and want to bang in the kitchen, who knows and it's anyone's guess. The point is, your parents do not have to and should not support you forever. If they have the means and choose to help you then great, but you are not entitled to it

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SC1 - I send 1K every month to my dad so he can splurge a little. We grew up middle class and this is a little extra to do something he likes. I have a lot of friends who do this. We do this because we want to. I really cannot come to terms with parents or children charging each other for anything.

Lol. OP was trying to make money by moving back. Add opposed to moving back because they wanted to see their parents/ be with them.

And you’re surprised the parents decided to charge rent?

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I can't structure an argument because I can't think of words that would make you love your parents enough to help them without gaining something in return and vice versa.

I’m sure the rent they would charge you would be cheaper than what you are paying. So are you surprised?

Please stop bashing white people. Parents in my home country, Germany, wouldn’t act like that. Ever. Neither would parents in Italy, Spain, Greece, Austria, France, Poland, Czech Republic, etc...think roughly 400 million white Europeans, more than all US Americans altogether.
But it’s cultures like the US, UK and the Netherlands (and possibly Nordic countries I’m not sure) that don’t regard relationships as important and are highly transactional. It has nothing to do with the color of skin.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the Chinese did the same but don’t know.

Yes analyst, we're all born into a capitalistic system, doesn't mean we can't complain about it lol

You must not be Indian

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