{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Was talking to this girl ( arranged marriage ) over the past couple of months(jun-sep) and things were progressing towards in the correct direction.\n\nDuring our inital conversion in the early stages, I had mentioned everything about my status (h1b. with early stages of perm,i-140 stage) and told her how she won't be able to get EAD immediately after coming the US) \n\nAll of sudden she said(oct) she now does not want to come to the US as my status does not allow her to work immediately in the US.", "post_id": "5fa66a0ed344b2001afdeb53", "reply_count": 34, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "58f8108c753e990016608a0b", "bowl_name": "Desi Consultants" }

Was talking to this girl ( arranged marriage ) over the past couple of months(jun-sep) and things were progressing towards in the correct direction. During our inital conversion in the early stages, I had mentioned everything about my status (h1b. with early stages of perm,i-140 stage) and told her how she won't be able to get EAD immediately after coming the US) All of sudden she said(oct) she now does not want to come to the US as my status does not allow her to work immediately in the US.

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Lesson I learned is - regardless of arranged/dating, don’t get too attached until you have some sense of commitment. People today have multiple options and see everything as a transaction. I’ve been told “you are my happiness “ only to find the person is talking to others as well.

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True that MC1 ... #lesson learned..

Sorry OP, I’m just starting the arranged marriage process now and already kinda dreading it. The one positive thing going for me is that I’m in Canada so I don’t have to go through the H1B EAD mess and my spouse will be able to work here! Also, as one of the other posted mentioned, it’s possible she found the other guy more compatible and the explanation she gave to you was a cop-out. From my experience, usually people don’t really reveal the real reason when rejecting someone. All the best in your search!

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Look at it this way, a girl who is not by your side through thick and thin you don’t want her anyway, be grateful that your time is saved and there is a new better possibility coming if you are open to it eventually

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Yeah even i feel the same way given how I dogged a bullet on this one.. thanks for the kind words .. really needed it !

Good riddance, my friend 🍻 You deserve much better, mate!! That's all I can say.

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I think so too.. Cheers 🍻

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I was once talking to a girl, and she flatly expected me to pay $400k for her dental school tuition fees. Good riddance my friend, marriage is not a business deal.

likefunny

Isn’t that called dowry ^^^

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All I’ll tell you is that it’s good this happened before and not after you guys got engaged or married. You just avoided getting hit by an asteroid

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Bhai* party karle. I know the 3 month emotional investment hurts but it's better than the crap you'd have to put up with. Also, very important: please don't ever talk to her. 100% move on. *assuming India mein same sex arrange marriage ka probability is almost zero.

helpfulfunny

Haha thank you bhai ! Definitely bach gaye lagta hai nah toh lau*** lag jate !

You dodged the bullet my friend

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Aiight OP! This opens up doors for dating and fishing ... plenty fish out there.. keep fishing and stay happy

funny

Good thing you got saved from a gold digger

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Being a little judgmental there C1.. from my talks with her, she did not came across anything like that but definitely one thing that she wanted was for her to work immediately once being moved to US. (Which i had explained her in detail ^ in the story )

Do you know the reason? I probably would have done the same as that girl did due to family dependency I have on my job. I saw many people commenting about girl being gold digger, what a waste...!

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Am not dissing you. She has a right to choose so does you as for reason she might not be comfortable to tell you and she is not entitled to tell( that’s what I feel) you as well since you weren’t officially engaged or something. All am saying is don’t call girl gold digger( not you but some did call her that) if she makes decision for her own future.. all of us are selfish in some way. Sorry this has happened with you and I hope you can find better match!! Good luck man!

smartfunny

Thank you for all the folks who lended me some great advice and open communication. With all the previous conversations with the girl, everything now makes me doubt about every thing she might have said to me as someone aptly said "One lie cast doubts on every truth that has been told"

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I tried to explain her that the process takes time but eventually will get it but the conversation kind of fizzled and she stopped responding. All these 3+ month the just went down the drain and feeling quite low to be honest when I had already mentioned all of these during our initial conversation and also asked her if thats a deal breaker (about moving to usa/working immediately) ;; she said this is not a problem Now - I got to know that the same girl is now marrying my friends friend (I do not know him directly but LinkedIn connection since he had reached out to me for referral purposes when he graduated college recently -- ) who is staying the US and is now on OPT, let alone be able to provide any form of EAD to his better half. Ngl feels really f'ed and to a certain degree angry about the situation that this person did not want to come to be US and if she did wanted to come , be able to work from the getgo all of sudden decided to come to the US Anyways this was a rant, I'm sure there must be something f'ed about my personality and not had to do anything with status (h1b) atleast thats what I'll keep on telling myself

Sorry man. It hurts and your first reaction is to find some fault in yourself to explain it. Given that she ghosted you, think for a bit that maybe it’s her fault? Her nature isn’t trustworthy? You’re better off that this didn’t work out? It’s definitely a waste of time invested, and your situation will always make it hard for them to work immediately unless they are also on H1, but there are others, no? Keep looking. Good luck!

Thank you Sir! Now that I think about it as well, I should have not been attached to quickly but guess # lessons learned ..

One question. Is that guy better looking than you? Do you think overall he has better profile compared to you ignoring visa status?This happens in case of arranged marriages. A lot of times to buy some time since they may have found someone better and things are in progress with the other party. At other times, it’s a way to say no since many folks do not want to say a straightforward No.

Definitely im not the one who compares an individual on the way someone looks and don't want to throw shade on the guy as well.. Maybe that might be the case but she said she wanted to marry someone taller then her . I'm 6 they other guy is 5.4 for what's it worth but anywho.. ## I'll stop thinking now #ranting again

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