Was told I "have every qualification for promotion, but am not ready for it because I lack a bubbly/positive personality and may want to consider changing who I am at work." Advice?

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Find a new job. That's BS.

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Are you female? Because I’d be shocked if this crap was said to a man. Find a new job for sure. Your personality is your personality. We’re not working at a summer camp. I would argue you actually have a sexism case on your hands if you’re female. No one should expect you to be “bubbly” as a qualification for a promotion.

likesmart

While this is entirely aggravating and bubbly is an unprofessional and sexist term. I’m guessing your supervisor isn’t very senior herself and lacks the experience or maturity to express herself properly. I would take an honest look at what might be underneath it. While bubbly shouldn’t be a criteria for anything having generally a positive/optimistic attitude is important for success within a team and clients. So do honestly assess that. If that’s an unfair characterization I’d approach her and ask for further clarification and defend yourself and also go to her supervisor

likehelpful

There is a real difference between being bubbly and positive. Bubbly is a stupid comment. Positive could speak to your mindset, creating a negative work environment and ability to inspire a team...hence, no promotion. You should work with your manager to understand this better.

likesmart

Don't complain about your client and their asks. You can empathize with your team when a lot is demanded of them, but you should always try to help the team see the value in the most mundane asks.

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I’ve had something similar said to me before. I’m low-key, but an excellent employee and account team member. My clients like and respect me for my straight-shooting demeanor, and I have great relationships internally. Some managers don’t think you are succeeding unless you are just like them - a mirror image. I would have them clarify and get specific examples and suggestions on how to change. But if they just want a clone, then you need to find a job at a company and with a team that appreciates you for who you are and celebrates that different personalities bring a variety of assets to the table that benefit the whole group. The old-school Account style of kissing up to everyone (clients and internal) are incredibly outdated. Deliver good work, be a resource and team member to the client, treat your internal teams with respect and you’ll go far - no matter what your personality is.

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Get out of there as fast as you can.

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Something similar happened to me between the AE and SAE level. It came from the practice lead, who was extremely catty, gossipy and created a toxic environment. Because my personality didn’t mirror hers, and I didn’t suck up to her, she resented me for it and purposefully thwarted my career advances. I’m blunt and can be intense, but always had great relationships internally. I chose not to give in and continued to kick ass at work and build amazing relationships with my clients without compromising who I am. Eventually she left and I was promoted twice back to back and never received that feedback again.

Always be you and never let this job/certain bosses beat you down or change who you are. It’s not worth it. That being said, we can always work to improve our attitudes, the way we communicate with junior staff (setting a good example) and be more professional as we move up the ranks, which is expected at the AS level. Just don’t compromise who you are. We need more girl bosses in this industry. You don’t need to be “bubbly” to kill it at work.

likehelpful

It sounds like you have an inexperienced manager - if there was critical feedback for you in that statement, the delivery fell 100% flat with the use of an unproductive adjective and no actionable next steps to improve.

You don't need to be bubbly to gain credibility with a team. You can gain credibility and act like a leader by:
- Being positive about the tasks at hand - explain the why behind them when you can to give purpose
- Seeing the whole person behind your teammates and treating them as individuals (what are they best suited to contribute, what may be weighing on them today /giving them a pass if needed, finding where you could help nurture a passion)
- Creating opportunities for them and space for them to rise to the occasion
- Honesty (honest praise, honest feedback) & fairness (sharing praise and feedback where its needed, not just where it's easy to do so)

Is there an opportunity to get perspective directly from your colleagues about where you're falling short? Your supervisor seems to be playing a telephone game (or just trying to fill her own notion of what you should be)... go to the source if you can.

I hope you also have a mentor to talk to about this more. Hard to grow into a Supervisor if your own isn't providing the best example.

likesmart

Maybe be nicer?

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Giving feedback is a skill, and it’s easy to flub, I agree with the comments that indicate this was poor delivery but there’s likely more there that you need to uncover. If you have an area of improvement that is legitimately preventing you from a promotion, you should embrace this opportunity to diagnose it. Once you do, then you work on strategies to solve, and I love the earlier mention of a mentor. That could be one avenue depending on what is really going on. However, assuming the only out is to leave without exploring this is a risk, as you may find yourself in this position again down the road which can stall your growth. So my advice is advocate for yourself and diplomatically seek better input, and see where it leads.

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