We are blessed with a boy who is 2 years old now. We started trying for 2nd baby and no luck so far after trying for over 8 months. Did SA and it is fine. Both of us are 35 years. Is this common ? Should we aggressively pursue fertility treatments ? Would appreciate and pros and cons from the group. Thank you all

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My OB suggested not waiting a year to seek help- go after six months. The majority of people get pregnant within six months and then it’s a trickle from months 7-12. If it’s an insurance coverage issue, heterosexual couples can just say they’ve been trying longer (there’s no way to prove it). At 35, I wouldn’t wait. My SIL has truly struggled with unexplained secondary infertility and I know she wishes they didn’t wait to ask for help.

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At 35, they actually do recommend going in after trying for six months. I would make an appointment. There may be nothing wrong, and you may still need a bit of a push. Going in to get checked out only gives you more information. And you may end up getting pregnant naturally in the meantime!
There are really no cons to getting checked. It can be invasive, but if you’ve already had a kid, I don’t think it’s more than that.

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I would recommend reaching out to an RE sooner. I had my first kid on the first try (age 27) but now have been dealing with secondary infertility for almost two years (I'm now 31). A lot about your hormones can change after one pregnancy as well as egg quality, so that would be one area I'd recommend prioritizing to investigate.

For me, I had a slight thyroid issue (not technically hypothyroidism but they started me on medication any way to get it to the optimal fertility level), I also was ovulating pretty late in my cycle (day 20/21 vs. 14-16), so have been taken some fertility meds and have been doing acupucuture. Feel free to DM if you want to discuss further!

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Thank you so much everyone. I am taking your suggestions seriously and just booked a prelim consult appointment. You all are awesome

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There are a few more tests you could do before it becomes aggressive - day 3 blood work (checks several indicators of debate fertility) and ultrasound )count follicles)

Are you tracking and testing for ovulation indicators and then timing intercourse?

I’d go ahead and call reproductive endocrinologists to get a first consult. Covid delayed a lot of people and so there may be a few months of waiting to start getting consults. If you get pregnant the old fashioned way just cancel the appointment!

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I’d also recommend doing your research and looking into your insurance coverage. If your insurance requires you to apply to an infertility program, that might take some time. Getting pre certifications and appointment times might take some time. All this to say, if you said you wanted to start fertility treatments today, all the other factors might not make that possible until a few months from now. Something I wish I knew was that it can be a lengthy process. Glad to hear you are making an appointment now instead of waiting after 12 months of trying. Wish I had the same advice when I was in a similar situation!

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I had the same issue with my second as well. But eventually got pregnant within a year of trying. I asked my doctor and she said she wouldn’t recommend looking into infertility until after 12 months, and I assume that is standard practice. If you are really concerned then you should definitely see what your doctor says. Just wanted to let you know that I went through the same thing and it turned out nothing was wrong so there is hope!

Thank you so much. That is very encouraging. Both of us are fit and no major issue or change in life style after our first baby so we are confused. We don’t want to go too much beyond 35 years so trying to rush it at this point

While you are waiting for an appointment, are you using ovulation sticks? We tried for a few months without any luck and then I got pregnant the first month we used ovulation sticks. I was ovulating later in my cycle than we thought.

I echo the suggestions for getting checked out. Just because you had a child once already does not mean that you will have another quickly again or that you don't have fertility issues.

3 years after having mine I finally had tests done and found a number of issues that were previously unknown. In fact one of those issues would have made my pregnancy be considered high risk but they thought it was a normal, low risk pregnancy the whole time.

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