We work in a high-stress high-stakes industry, no doubt. This naturally requires thick skin and ability to handle feedback.

Not sure if anyone else is this way, but I’d be remiss to not admit that I’m sensitive (yep, men can’t always be tough) and hold myself to be in good standing with everyone. So receiving stern, harsh-but valid feedback is tough, emotionally.


Any advice for how to “get thick skin” or handle these conversations better without letting it get to me?

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Story controlling and accepting the blame but subtly shifting it onto someone else. It’s the consultant way. Have you ever heard the saying that every partner stands on a pile of those who didn’t make it or something along those lines?

Truth is subjective. You can accept feedback and work to improve without allowing it to become your story. That’s the more important part.

Also you are worth more than your job.

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Appreciate this input, thank you

Hey look, sometimes you and your senior’s personalities just don’t mix. That’s okay. Instead of trying to become someone you’re not, try to find a place where your personality matches your team’s and your senior’s

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Acknowledge you’re not perfect and you’re growing. People are helping you, you just may not know it yet

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I'm *very* sensitive and have done decently for myself in consulting.

Some keys:
1. Someone who takes the time to formulate and deliver feedback to me wants me to succeed, or else they wouldn't do it.
2. Criticisms are of my work, but I am not my work and my work is not me. People are not making a statement about my personal worth to the world when they criticize things that I do.
3. Despite what I sometimes tell myself, I'm adding value to my firm, and that's why I was hired in the first place.

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This was very helpful, thank you!

Draw strength and perspective from other parts of your life. For instance I volunteer as a ff/emt and I usually compare stuff to dead / dying patients I’ve worked on. I’d imagine people with kids get thicker skin through their brutal honesty and life challenges. Everyone has their thing.

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Stop caring as much. Not every piece of criticism is the worst thing since the hindenburg. Given how high turnover is, and how fast things change in consulting, it is likely that either you or the person giving you feedback will not be at the same firm 3 or 4 years from now, and if you are, you may not work together, and any particular conversation will have been long forgotten.

Read up on "insecure overachiever", which you may be. Don't pin your self esteem on getting good reviews at work.

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I am one indeed, and like I said, would be remiss of me to ignore this so it’s better to just face facts and not let it get personal

If it’s valid feedback then take it as a legit recommendation on how to improve and do your best to separate the content from the delivery. Time will give you perspective and the sting will go away. Sometimes these lessons are the toughest to go through but most valuable in the long run. The fact that you are bothered by it emotionally means you care, for what that’s worth. Keep your head up, in a few years you will look back on this as a positive stepping stone.

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Yes. You’ve got this!

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It really helps to detach your personal identity from your job. I am so much more than an employee so why would I take criticism personally when it’s about such a fraction of my personality?

Also…I would recommend against trying to be in good standing with everyone. You can be the juiciest ripest peach, there will always be people who don’t like peaches. 🤷‍♀️

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Haha appreciate the perspective, valuable insight ty, definitely have come around to this thinking since joining the firm - some folks just can’t be turned and I’m not God to intervene and change them

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