{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Well my mother has arrived.. in other words, here come the announcements of every insecurity and failure of my life to anyone willing to listen to her. Kill me now please.", "post_id": "5835d8dfa88ff90011793ff0", "reply_count": 50, "vote_count": 108, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
null

Well my mother has arrived.. in other words, here come the announcements of every insecurity and failure of my life to anyone willing to listen to her. Kill me now please.

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I 100% agree. Every single person who has heard that story used the same words. It was one of the most f'd up experiences of my life. I am never stepping foot in that cabin again. They're coming to see us this Christmas (3 days) and will be staying in a hotel. If you can't tell, the dad is kind of crazy so I'm not sure that he'll be able to handle the three days in the hotel. We'll see what happens next Christmas. We don't have kids yet, but after last Christmas, I think that they know that seeing their grandchildren is on the line. It was straight-up abusive. Oh yeah, and apparently part of why the blanket was taken from us was because we arrived later than the dad had wanted. We were driving through I-95 East Coast traffic in the rain on Christmas Eve. My husband had a bad cold and I had previously had surgery a few days earlier, but we still made the eleven hour drive and that is how we were treated. They can go pound salt! (Your parents too!)

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So many years of that.... I went thru the same. Finally realized my mother is sooooooooo jealous of what I made of myself. She said these things to others and was snarky to me because she was angry I did it in my own. I was/am very independent. She sees herself as the grande dame, the matriarch, the one everyone needs and everyone turns to for advice. Once I realized that, I was able to simply roll my eyes and ignore her. Bonus- it made her even angrier. People started seeing HER as insecure and saw me as someone who pushed past her failures and achieved. Try it this year. Just roll your eyes and ignore her. Walk away. Say, " yep, that's what happened 10 years ago and I was strong enough to learn from it". You got this!

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I thought it was only me hahahaha

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My husband and I are spending Thanksgiving with our friends and their parents and I am realizing how happy we should be that we don't have to deal with our crazy families. Part of why we are not seeing them for Thanksgiving is because they acted too crazy on previous Thanksgivings! Haha

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D1- cruel and unusual punishment!

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Love you, OP! S&1- that's some real high quality cognitive behavioral therapy in action. Thanks for sharing!

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I feel bad for all your shitty families

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Are you Indian?

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Despite how batshit crazy our families are, it was that exposure that shaped who you are. if you want to thank them for all of your hang ups and disappointments, you have to also thank them for all of your accomplishments and strengths.

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^A1 you are luckier than you'll ever know. Totally wish I had a loving family but I always dread seeing them, and make my stays short in the holidays

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D1 lmao what??? Don't blame you for not visiting them again

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How old are you and your siblings, SC1?

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Omg sc1 - sounds like my mother in law! Hang in there people and drink up!

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SC1- good for you. I'm not even kidding. These crazy people don't deserve us

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Thanks, A1. I'll speak for myself, but I def don't get the sympathy enough, but mostly because I'd never disclose this info in public.

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Stay strong OP

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Wow, you people have some real effed up families. Tonight I am thankful for a caring family, esp more so after seeing this

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My mom is the sweetest person on earth... Absolutely lovely and ready to do anything that I ask for and within her reach! She is so naive sometimes and I keep telling her that she is unfortunate to have a daughter like me! Lucky me!

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C1- that's nice, but def still hurtful to read

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D1, what got me past where you are is recognizing my parents did the best they were capable of. It wasn't enough-not nearly so. But it was what they could do. It was still, however, toxic and chaotic. As an adult you have the power to decide who is in your life. Don't be a passive victim of your parents disregard. Take control of your reactions to their lack of what you need from them. And use it as a "how not to". None of it is easy, but speaking from experience, so incredibly worth it.

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PWC1, that's awful... At least you were able to come above that!

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