Went on a second date and he made me pay. Have been talking to this guy for several weeks. Went on a coffee date the first date and then dinner at a fine dining place that he chose for a second date. He paid for dinner. I suggested we go for a drink somewhere else so we can get to know each other as we felt the pressure at the restaurant to leave. I asked him twice if he wants me to pay and he said yes. Never been asked by a man to pay before the first 2 months or so. Thoughts?

funnylike
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Seems fair to me 🤷🏽‍♀️ He paid for dinner, you paid for the drinks. The drinks were your suggestion.

likesmarthelpful

He paid for dinner and you paid for drinks. Seems pretty fair to me unless he is a millionaire or something.

Equality, girlfriend.

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Yes! 🙌

Recent IconRecent

Doesn’t seem like a big deal at all to me. The dynamic of guys always paying feels very old school and conservative to me, and I feel like there are a ton of other ways for guys to be charming and show chivalry, other than paying.

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💯

Why did you offer if you didn't want to pay?

likefunny

He didn’t “make” you pay. You offered and he accepted your offer....

likefunnysmarthelpful

Were you expecting him to say no after you asked him not once, but twice if you should pay??

likefunny

Wait, he said yes the first time you asked and you asked again? 😂

Sigh, it's definitely not him that's the issue here...

likefunnyhelpful

If you don’t want to pay don’t ask him if you should pay lol.

But I disagree with some other people here. Even though you asked for the drinks doesn’t mean you should have to pay for them. It’s still a date. Sometimes I suggest dinner or other things and men I’ve gone on dates with always pay regardless.

But like I said earlier, if you don’t want to pay don’t offer lol. I never offer to pay, I just let them take care of it.

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Thank you 😃

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lol girl, if he paid for dinner why not pay for drinks?

likefunny

I always pay on the 2nd date 🤷‍♀️
Or if they pay for dinner and we go for drinks I pay for the drinks part after. It makes more comfortable that way. Fancy dinner and drinks are expensive and I don’t feel comfortable with someone I just started dating spending that much money and me not contributing. To each their own, that may be his style but not yours

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I’ve read this post three times and still can’t figure out if OP paid for the dinner or just drinks. 🤷🏼‍♀️

likefunnyuplifting

Seems fair, actually.

likesmart

Some women are offended when men don’t ever let them pay — it sort of kicks equality in the teeth.

So if I was a man, I would definitely pay the first few dates but to be respectful of her as a badass business woman, I would let her pay especially when it was just for drinks.

You can’t ask for equal pay and equal respect but still always expect him to pay.

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Consultant 3, you don’t have to agree with my opinion, but that shouldn’t mean you stop supporting women with varying beliefs as long if it isn’t oppressing anyone. I’ve been very kind and respectful throughout this thread about others opinions, I don’t understand why you can’t do the same?

🙄🙄🙄

likefunny

Honestly, after reading this and especially with OP’s stance on it, I feel sorry for men in the dating world. Damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

likefunnyhelpful

Right! When I was going out to clubs and bars and a guy asked if he could buy me a drink I’d say I already have one thank you but you can definitely still sit and talk with me! I tried to be clear as possible... such a mess dating is!

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I am so glad to read all the responses.

This attitude of looking at how much men pay for us to know of their feelings for us has to go. The women before us didn’t fight for equality, pay equity for nothing. We didn’t work as hard as men, to make as much as them for nothing.

Let’s find better signs of their feelings and interest signs for us.

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Consultant 3, how does it make me evil to have dating preferences and choices that mimic the lifestyle my parents had?

funny

Next time if you don't really want to pay, don't offer just for the sake of offering. It's fair to me that you should pay since he already paid for the big meal.

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🙄

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Hey I’m not going to be harsh on you OP, it’s totally normal to expect a guy to pay for dates early on...or even throughout the whole relationship. You make your standards. For me personally I like to go 80% guy pay / 20% me pay in my relationships but everyone has their preferences.

I think asking him if you should pay probably threw him off thinking that he could get you to pay. I would just say in the future don’t offer if you don’t want to pay. Then see his reaction. A lot of guys are pretty cheap and will do their very hardest to do less than the bare minimum in dating.

likefunnysmart

Lol you are literally saying YOU need HIS money to consider HIM! You’re hilarious. Good luck out there 🤣🤣🤣

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Younger ladies on this thread who say you'd want the guy to pay for majority of the dates, how do you feel if the guy says I want my gf/wife to do majority of household chores?
Always think of the true equality and don't be hypocrite about it and then it happens.

likehelpful

I would tell him not to go out with you again

likefunny

No offense but how does this attitude align with 21st century female empowerment and striving for equality. Nothing wrong with chivalry anf all that, but if you, too, warn your own money, then why is it more appropriate if he pays for your dinner than if you pay for both of your drinks.

likesmart

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