Went to a therapist for the first time last week. I found it super awkward and quiet. I am not much of a talker but she wasn’t prompting me for questions either. Not a good fit or am I new to this?

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Sure. I have a psych background too. Go figure. I would ask for their specialities/experience (family, couples, PTSD, abuse, etc.) In other words, what do they have the most experience counseling. Some therapists, for example, may work with mostly psychological issues versus couples counseling which may not be a good fit if you’re seeking relationship help. What types of therapy does he/she use? Do they use cognitive behavioral, for example? How would they describe their counseling (are they actively engaged in the counseling — talking back and forth with you or tend to listen more without providing insights)? How long have they been practicing? What is their license (e.g. masters in counseling, clinical psychology, PhD in psychology, social work)? Don’t bother with a psychiatrist; they treat via prescriptions and questioning to root treatable issues. They don’t spend time counseling - social workers and licensed counselors are good. Mention what your goals are (for ex, that you want to change certain behavior) and ask they if they have experience. It’s a good idea to interview your therapist/counselor before the appointment. Most would be happy to talk for a few minutes for you to gauge a fit

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Sound like a bad fit. Try another

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Also, there are EAP programs paid by employer so don’t be shy using that free resource. A optimal situation would be one that you see through EAP who is also covered by your insurance. In this way, you can use your EAP benefits and then continue through your insurance once the EAP runs out. Best of both worlds

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Might not be a good fit, but like any relationship it takes a little bit to establish a flow and rapport. Give it a few more sessions maybe, and if you feel comfortable enough, communicate what you need from her

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I did ask her what to expect and how things work. And she said it’s whatever I want. I prefer structure I guess. I found the whole thing uncomfortable and was really looking for someone to shed light on my past relationship and how can improve / find a healthy relationship. She said I can come in and talk about whatever I want but she won’t really provide opinions. I might as well continue my habit now then of writing to myself if I’m going to talk to a wall.

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Sounds like her style doesn't gel with you! Other therapists have methods that are more suited to your style, I promise. You just need to communicate what you would like out of therapy in an initial 30 min (free!) Intro meet or call- this is the kind of thing you want to ask them before taking them on as a provider

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If you prefer to be prompted, ask her to do so. Some therapists default to listening initially because they don't want to suggest things that are not the case for you, especially since they don't know you yet

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OP - I had a therapist like that and she wasn’t a good fit. She would make faces too which I found inappropriate. I found someone else who gave advice which I prefer

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Thank you C3!! Super helpful!

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Thanks C3 - any recommendations on the right questions to ask when calling around looking for a therapist?

You’re most welcome!

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