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Just a little humor
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Rising Star
Today my first grader looked at my school ID and told me my picture was going to make her sick. When I told her that wasn’t a very nice thing to say, she said, “Well you don’t have a mask.” Then she pretty much asked me to marry her dad.
oh wow!!!
I get called mom a lot accidentally but a student accidentally called me grandma …. I’m in my late 20’s …. It was a rough one!
Rising Star
Mine told me with a big smile on her face “You look just like my grandma!” Her grandmother is in her 70’s and I was 36. It was because grandma is a nurse and apparently my blue dress looked like scrubs to her.
Rising Star
Well TODAY we were practicing for an earthquake drill and I told them they needed to get under something heavy like their desk. To which one girl
replied, “We could also get under the teacher.”
I had a student email me around midnight and email me twice more in the wee hours, saying please respond!
Same thing happened to me last year during virtual. I emailed her back and reminded her of the time and that I do not respond to emails that late. Then I told all of my classes the same thing
Parents of my student gave me doctor’s orders to reduce sugar in his diet. So cafeteria manager ordered plain Cheerios for him ( all students get free breakfast). Student refused to eat it. Told parent to send in snack for him… chocolate cupcakes!!!
I called a parent one time because her son wasn’t turning in work. She said she was a taxpayer and the way I see it, I work for her, so it was up to me to figure out how to motivate him!
I really wanted to tell her that she was going to get her money’s worth because he was going to get to spend an extra year in middle school, but I was too far from retirement!!
Parent: "Can you call me everyday to let me know if he showed up for tutorial?"
Me: 😏 I can't do that but I will have him call you on the days he shows up
*student never showed up*
That reminds me that a parent expected me to call after school every day. Another parent yelled at me for my sub not following my plans and for me not contacting her while I was on leave because my newborn son was in the NICU!
I kid asked me how long people have hated Nickeback.
Of course, the answer was, "always."
At the beginning of my career, I taught grade school. I had a second grader who handed in his homework which had a ridiculously strong marijuana smell. When the student handed me his work, it hit me like a brick wall. I said, "whew!", to which the student said...."I know my backpack smells. When my dad leaves town for work, my mom's boyfriend comes over and they smoke a lot!" I'm sure mom would love that story also!
One parent emailed me at 11:30 at night and called the principal at 8 am complaining that I hadn’t responded. I didn’t have to be in until 8:45 and while I sometimes checked my email at night (not that late), in the mornings I was getting my toddler ready so didn’t check work email. Another crazy thing was at a parent teacher conference when a parent saw a picture of my family on my desk and said she didn’t think I was married because I don’t wear makeup and men “like a little something.”🤣
She also argued with me about where Alaska is. She was from Albania and had only lived in the US (northeast) for a few years so I wouldn’t expect her to be an expert in US geography but she was adamant that Alaska was actually really close to Hawaii. I tried explaining that they’re two very different climates and she showed me a map which, yes, does put Alaska down near Hawaii. I hate that maps do this.
I had a student who was on edge and needed to calm down before we could get anywhere with what was going on and why he behaved the way he did. I called mom to inform her of what had happened that day. As she proceeded to tell me that her son doesn’t like it when I talk to him right away but understood that I don’t have all the time in world to wait for him to be fully calm before I talk to him… (sorry, didn’t I say that I let him calm down before I spoke to him?!? 🤔) she said, “I’m not a teacher… well, I do teach Sunday school and have 10 kids in class so I know how hard it can be…” I don’t even know how her sentence ended because my mind was screaming WTF?!? 😡
Wow! 10 kids once a week for an hour or so! How difficult! 🤣
We took our students on a 3-day field trip to a camp run by a Christian organization, but the program itself was a secular nature science retreat for publics schools. Our district had been doing this for years, btw. One student's mother, who had signed the permission slip herself and packed the kid's things, tried to say that we kidnapped her child to religiously indoctrinate the kid. She did this while we were on the trip. It helped that everyone knew she was crazy and had a history of crazy complaints, but I still shake my head when I think of that one.
Pro
Student~“Your breath smells like onions. “
Parent~”My child did his work” while she was the one doing the work for her child.
Rising Star
Yep. I had a student that was supposed to be completing a Google slides project. He was lying back on a bed - full body visible - while I could see his form being magically updated. When I passively said “Please make sure ____ is doing his own work so I can see how he’s doing.” Her response was “Oh of course! He is. “.
Rising Star
We have parents come in once a year, in the morning, to attend their child’s class with them. (Yes, it’s super disruptive.) After, a parent when to the principal and told him I had medication open and on my desk in full view. I couldn’t figure out why the parent thought this. It was a tissue box that a drug rep (parent of a student) donated to the school that had their logo on it. Sometimes parents jump to conclusions without knowing the facts.