What are the signs of a selfish boyfriend?
What are the signs of a selfish boyfriend?
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It’s still early in the relationship. From what you described, I’d end it. Seems like a handful and you’re not bob the builder, it’s not your job to fix him.
I love your advice “you’re not Bob the builder. It’s not your job to fix him.” That’s fantastic!
Well, it’s hard to say if this guy just doesn’t know any better or if he’s a complete jerk. My young boys know to always ask if anyone else would like the last piece of anything — because I’ve taught them proper manners. But at some point a grown man shouldn’t have to be taught basic etiquette.
If you’d like to continue seeing where this goes, have the conversation— I don’t mind paying some times, but you need to pay for meals as well. Then order your own meal and don’t share. I’ve never been one to share my food anyway — ask my husband. lol. Sexual compatibility can come in time if you’re both open to talking about what works and what doesn’t. Sounds like he doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience himself. But if you think he might have potential, give him another chance. If there’s no improvement in the next few months, time to move on.
Any examples show he is sweet? Because this certainly doesn't show he is sweet at all....
He definitely needs more self awareness, but you can’t say it’s unfair if you won’t tell him. Because then you’re being unfair too. People communicate in a mature relationship.
I don’t know you or your boyfriend, so I can’t say he is or isn’t selfish.
Depending on how he reacts to your feelings, then you’ll know if there’s a major red flag or not.
Disclaimer: Make sure that you do everything in your power to communicate calmly, kindly and rationally. Because if he reacts negatively to poor delivery, then that’s not fair to make a judgment on that too.
Are your conversations dying out because of building resentment? I’ve found that if you can’t be open/honest about the big things, then the little things follow and it throws the whole dynamic off.
I hope you figure this out soon! 💛
EDIT: do voice your concerns to him, in the hope he follows through if he is making an honest effort. intimacy-wise, if he’s not making the effort to make sure you’re comfortable so you can learn more about yourself in that way, and makes empty comments (without following through), it’s pretty selfish imo especially if you’ve made it known to him that it is new to you.
Pro
End this. Move on.
If you’re considering ending it-then I like the advice above (D1)-which is to just talk to him about your concerns. Figure if the conversation doesn’t go well, only helps you with the decision to end it. Be specific in your conversation (if you decide to do that).
Maybe this is my audit mind speaking, but have your tried to weigh the pros and cons? I've been with my guy for 5 years (not sure how honestly), and I'd be lying if I haven't thought of breaking up now and again, but the pros outweigh the cons by a lot. We both have different love languages.
Not sure if it's fair to him (or you) to break up without communicating your problems to him. Pick a time where you're not heated, and find a way to hone in on one action (just one) that bothers you. For example, "I would like to share the meals more fairly at dinner. What do you think?". If he doesn't make an effort to improve, then he's probably not the type that'll ever change, or he just doesn't care. Then you'll know your answer.
At least that's what I would do. My guy is not perfect, but he tries. And for me it makes all the difference.
For context, my current boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months. I find that most of the time, I'm footing the bill for meals or we're splitting. When he does pay, he eats most of the portions of whatever we're 'sharing' and constantly takes the last piece without asking. He also loves posting on Instagram and getting attention there. Also, I'm new at sexual intimacy, and as a result it was hard to have sex the first couple of times. He got frustrated and made comments such as 'the romantic intimacy is there but we need to work on the sexual intimacy'.
He told me his past relationships were all casual, but then casually mentioned he and his ex girlfriend and his dad met up for dinner once (so she's met the parents). I stumbled upon his dad's instagram, and saw a picture of him and his ex girlfriend together and his dad saying how happy he was with the two of them. When I asked about this, he mentioned that it just demonstrates how cool his parents are.
I'm feeling frustrated, and I want to try to fix this because he's a sweet guy, but I'm at the point where I'm thinking of ending it. I don't know if the issue is that I don't know how to say no or set boundaries, if he's just not the right match for me, or if it's both.
Rising Star
I wouldn’t get hung up on his ex-girlfriend; they chose to break up and he’s with you now, so I’d just move on from all that. As far as things you want from him that you’re not getting, just tell him. Can’t be too annoyed with someone about what they don’t know. But if you tell him and he doesn’t care, that’s a problem, and selfish. I think if you really enjoy spending time with him, and like him more as you get to know him more, give it a little more time.
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I think if you have to ask,there's your sign
Or emotionally immature
The conversation doesn't flow like it used to, and sometimes we run out of things to say. We used to make each other laugh so much more. in an effort to fix this, I've taken on some of his hobbies and favorite games to try to make conversation, but he hasn't returned the same level of effort (he'll say he'll check it out, but actually doesn't). I'm just feeling really frustrated and annoyed.
A relationship takes a LOT of work, but I don't think he is very sincere. I think everyone has their strengths, for example: I don't talk too much, but my husband always has topics, so he is the one who always tries to keep the conversation going. But I try to make sure we stay on track for important stuff.
If you are in a serious relationship, does he try at all to keep the relationship going? If not, move on.
If you are not in a serious relationship, then just have fun. If it is not fun anymore, move on.
Does not do everything in their power to give you an orgasm.
Sounds to me that when you ask that question you already have an answer. Give it some time and make the decision. It’s hard but once you make up your mind it will only be Better from there
He definitely needs more self awareness, but you can’t say anything is unfair if you won’t tell him. Because then you’re being unfair too. People communicate in a mature relationship.
I don’t know you or your boyfriend, so I can’t say he is or isn’t selfish.
Depending on how he reacts to your feelings, then you’ll know if there’s a major red flag or not.
Disclaimer: Make sure that you do everything in your power to communicate calmly, kindly and rationally. Because if he reacts negatively to poor delivery, then that’s not fair to make a judgment on that too.
Are your conversations/interest dying out because of building resentment? I’ve found that if you can’t be open/honest about the big things, then the little things follow and it throws the whole dynamic off.
I hope you figure this out soon! 💛
Rising Star
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