What are your least favorite phrases of legal corporatespeak?

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“High level.” Perhaps useful phrase but most often used to mean “this doesn’t interest me at all, just tell me the bare minimum”

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I HATE THIS PHRASE.

For Florida litigators, the phrase commonly used to close demand letters, which is actually a favorite of mine (I’m a transactional lawyer, so when I say favorite, I mean I like to use it as a joke in emails to friends) rather than one I hate, always tickles me:

GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY

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“Don’t spin your wheels.” I don’t have wheels. I’m a human being.

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😂😂😂😂exactly the case

Mine is a tie between “open kimono” and “kick the tires”

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I’ve heard “peek under the skirt”. St Patty’s day 2017. I was wearing a lovely kilt.

The most recent ones aren’t limited to the law department:

Pivot

“We will review and revert”

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I’m agnostic..

Why the fuck do we start pleadings with “NOW COMES . . .”? I thought it was pretty weird when I started, but I can’t shake myself of the habit. What has become of me?

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Idk, Partner 4.... I would very much enjoy seeing my partners in wigs! 😂 (this is now my new thing to think about on stressful days to pick myself up)

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Can we “noodle” about something?

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Hate this one!!! All I can think about is someone standing with their arms by their sides and wiggling like a piece of spaghetti!

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Can you PING them again? So grating on my ears

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You should all watch the cartoon “Boss Baby.” It is full of ridiculous things like this. (I have a five year old. I haven’t watched normal tv in three years. Send help).

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My kids’ favorite scene is when the kid is putting baby powder on the Boss Baby’s but then slaps his cheeks to the beat of the song playing and the baby poots throwing up a cloud of powder. They would play that seen over and over again and howl with laughter. Funny movie!

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"belt and suspenders approach" .... wtf?

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One of my classmates in law school would show up for exams wearing belts and suspenders, as a reminder to have multiple ways to address issues.

“I’m not married to the idea”

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Embiggen

Cromulent

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Or put a pin in it.

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Hahaha I say this, was told it’s a Midwest thing.

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“As per my...”

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I like this one...juuust snarky enough to show you’re annoyed without being too much

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"pregnant with a deal"

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“Peek under their skirt” ugh gross

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“Split the baby”: it sounds monstrous and has no relation to the actual story of Solomon

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It’s a litigation term but I can’t stand “hot tubbing” - referring to when both parties’ expert witnesses collaborate on a report (business valuation etc)

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“What is hot-tubbing?
Concurrent expert evidence ('CEE'), or 'hot-tubbing' as it is colloquially known, is a procedure at trial whereby experts in any discipline give their evidence simultaneously. The process is governed by CPR PD 35, para 11.

The format is usually a discussion chaired by the judge with counsel putting questions to the experts when permitted by the court. The process is intended to be flexible with variations being made depending on the nature of the case.

The giving of expert evidence concurrently is regularly adopted in claims proceeding in the Technology and Construction Court (TCC).

Background to hot-tubbing
The option for expert witnesses, in all civil proceedings, to give their evidence concurrently was introduced to CPR PD 35, para 11 under the April 2013 Jackson Reforms.

Having spoken to various practitioners in Australia who had used hot-tubbing for some time, Lord Justice Jackson 'formed the provisional view that CEE was a cost saving procedure, which merited a Hot-tubbing (Concurrent expert evidence) in England and Wales. If the Hot-tubbing (Concurrent expert evidence) was successful, then it should be introduced generally into our procedure' (Jackson LJ lecture of 29 June 2016).

Before then, most English court proceedings had tended to favour the adversarial approach of experts giving their evidence sequentially and being cross-examined on it.”

https://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/civil/rules/part35/pd_part35#11.1

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Buckets or silos

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Let’s “table it” for next time

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Thought leaders.....dear god let’s make corporate speak as stuffy and ridiculous as we possibly can.

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