What are your thoughts on team members who prefer to do their own thing after work (i.e don’t attend team dinners)?

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

I'm completely fine with it

likeupliftingsmart

How about everything in moderation? Do your own thing sometimes, hang with the team sometimes. There are times when I want to hide in my hotel room and times when I want to let loose with teammates.

First week though, you should try to socialize as much as possible.

My problem is most team activities involve alcohol and unhealthy food, both of which I’m trying to cut back on. If it was more common for team members to do exercise-based activities or go to the movies together I’d be all for those

like
Recent IconRecent

For the love of god, leave them alone.

like

Personally, I see nothing wrong with this, however, I know there is a great deal of bias against such team members. I am introverted, but I make a point of always attending team dinners and sometimes arranging them myself because I don’t want to be seen as an isolationist.

One of the members on my team skipped a team dinner during the first week she joined the project and while no one said anything that was outright negative, I could tell they disapproved.

This disapproval is one of the things that makes this profession so toxic and causes firms to lose great people.

likeupliftingsmart

yea team dinners once a week sounds awful

like

I absolutely hate the forced comradery and need time away from my team to decompress. Don’t put this burden on my team either. If they want to hang out, happy to pay for team dinner, but if they want to enjoy the city themselves, I let them. I have not seen teams operating better if they hang out every single night.

likesmart

“Every night” is speaking in absolutes and not at all a realistic expectation. It’s important. Imagine a partner who won’t attend team/client dinners because they want to “do their own thing”. Unacceptable

like

Work life balance means you shouldn’t be forced to eat dinner with your colleagues.

I do think, however, that team members should make an effort to attend special dinners (I.e. partner is taking the team out etc.). That’s just career management 101. If your boss offers to take you out and you say no, it’s going to make you look like a dink anywhere.

likefunny

My 2c:
- should go for first week to get to know team and last week to celebrate success
- should go if sr partner or some non every-day team member is in town
- otherwise shouldn’t be an expectation to attend. Point is to help people relax - don’t go if it doesn’t achieve that goal

like

^^ seconded

like

Who am I to judge what someone decides to do outside of work hours?

like

People are free to do as they like, but I prefer teammates who enjoy seeing each other outside the office 🤷‍♂️

likefunny

After spending 10+ hours with my coworkers, practically living with them M-Th, dinner is my sacred alone time. People can judge me but I have stellar performance reviews and could not care less if I’m the introverted teammate

Post Photo
likefunny

K2- exactly! I’ve been an amateur/competitive athlete for years and would enjoy team events that involved physical activity more than drinks and high calorie dinners, especially after we spend all day sitting. I crave physical activity/exercise at the end of a long day.

like

First team dinner or special roll off dinners should be attended to. At least if you want to get that exposure

like

I wouldn’t disapprove or judge, but people that spend time together outside of work are more likely to build stronger professional networks. I would say it hurts them more than it affects me

like

BA1 maybe people don't want to spend more time around coworkers after facing them 8+ hours a day at work.

likefunny

Haha fair point, thankfully I like everyone I work with at Booz

Rather go rock climbing ?

like

I’ve skipped most every team dinner I’ve been invited to, except for casual dinners with coworkers who are friends. And I’ll tell anyone to piss off if they give me sh*t because I’m good at my job

like

I could careless and also could careless if others judge me. And my network is extremely strong. The tribal bs and those that need to drink all the time often are at the bottom of the performance bar anyways. Do you boo boo.

like

I see both sides: you shouldn’t have to spend your time after work with “work”. Especially those days when you’ve already spent the entire day and then some with everyone (out of town clients, trainings, busier times of the year), some time to yourself is needed. It’s almost like you’re never turning it off and still haven’t left work. However, at the same time never attending team events can be perceived negatively. Happy hours at trainings allow you to network. Dinners with your team help you to bond. So I would say, you don’t have to attend them all, but also don’t miss them all.

like

I have greater respect for those people.

like

I don’t hold it against anyone, but they are missing networking / bonding opportunities, and like it or not that is one of the critical success factors in this industry. Deloitte is more explicit about it than other firms, but it’s true across the industry that the strength of your internal network makes or breaks your career.

like

I’m an introvert myself, I understand, and I have skipped my share of team dinners over the years. I’ve also been to more than I could ever count though, and many of my closest relationships with colleagues were formed through having those shared experiences outside the client site. When I do skip them, I realize I am missing a networking opportunity that might benefit my career.

Related Posts

What is the best way for someone with limited technical experience to learn how to build some bots for personal use? I want to automate some of my life.

There is absolutely nothing worse than pounding sand at your desk, being bored as hell, just for optics to show you’re in the office bc you’re required to be in the office. What a giant waste.

like

Asked for a raise and was told to wait for the annual raise period even though I was doing extra stuff on top of doing my job at a very high level and they would not budge at all. I started looking around 2 months ago and I just signed an offer for a new position with a raise just above 50% of my current salary. Know your worth and go get it!!!

likeuplifting

Hello Fishes, it will be very helpful if you could share some details about the work culture and career growth at KPMG.

like

Hi! I'm a Content Producer (English and Hindi) with 4.5 years of experience and I am looking for new opportunities. I have been trying for over 2 years with no success. I have experience in the entire process of content production along with knowledge on how to build teams, manage multiple projects, do editorial work and client servicing too. I'm looking for reliable leads and advice on where to apply. If you are not from the same industry, perhaps a friend maybe. Any help is highly appreciated!

like

This may be or seem like a very generalized question but how did some of you all start? Where do you start? I’m curious about learning about the process of creating a startup, but honestly want to learn more…really looking for recourses, good books and stories!! TIA!!

like

Hi All,
Any idea on what will be the thrid round for the strategy and transformation team at Deloitte???
Requesting your support and guidance please

Does BDO provide employees with work mobile device and pay for monthly data?

like

Truthfully, how much do you milk your hours in your time sheet for FDD

like

Stages of a consultant

Post Photo
likefunnyuplifting

It's difficult to come up with a compelling ad campaign for some of these products; why would someone "need" a specific set of kitchen knives or the like

like

I got an offer with a standard chartered Bank after i rejoined cognizant. Pay is the same but SCB offers me an association manager.

The thing is I just joined cognizant 15 days back for the same project with the same roles and responsibilities.

In cognizant night Shift i don't like it.
In a standard chartered day shift.

If I resign I would have a problem in future on bgv? Because my previous experience 1 year with cognizant.

like

My husband is having a bit of trouble getting an entry level Cyber Security role (Recent St. John's University Graduate - Cybersecurity major. Digital Forensics concentration with apprenticeships and internships under his belt along with certifications). Please advise what's the best route or if anyone has any open positions at their company! Thank you!

like
funny

Can somebody give me a review on TE-ES-Oracle Financials team in@KGS @KPMG@

like

Having 2.5 years of experience in manual testing and automation testing using selenium webdriver with java. Can you please refer me.

like

what is the official notice period in VMware India? 😑

like

Any Referrals for KPMG Kochi ? Looking for manager and above roles

like

How many rounds of interview will be there in infosys? I just finished a technical round yesterday. I have 5 years of exp.

like

Any one in the DMV wanna plan to go out to one of our Washigton Capitals game? Ive never been to oen of their games and would love to not go alone.

like

Additional Posts in Consulting

Hey BIG 4 (and similar) fishes with CPA, interested in remaining in a top notch prof service firm but want WLB more similar to industry and less travel? Miserable at big 4 or similar? DM me! I can refer to internal accounting roles. Best of both worlds, including employee stock, solid benefits, career growth. Join a strong team team. Need CPA, 3+ years and a positive attitude. I am not a recruiter, just tryna help folks out here and happy to refer.

like

Happy layoff hunger games

Post Photo
likefunny

Does anyone here find the headrest on their office chair super helpful? I've never had one, and can't imagine it's necessary as I shop for a new chair, but want to make sure there isn't something I'm missing.

like

wish i could go back to the time where my biggest stressor was taking minutes lol

likefunnysmart

After a year using my home office setup, especially the 27 inch monitor, how can I ever go back to the traveling life with tiny laptop screen? 😔

likesmart

I sit by a lot of admins and I have to say they work SO hard and their work seems consistently underappreciated by partners and staff; some treat them astonishingly rudely. Don't be that person.

like

Any recommendations on a good office chair below $500?

like

McKinsey & Company Bain & Company Has anyone worked at Kearney and an MBB? What are the differences between the firms? Are there drastic changes in terms of work, comp, and benefits? Kearney McKinsey & Company Bain & Company Boston Consulting Group

like

A bowl for "thirsty" consultants on travel a good idea or nah? Kind of like that movie about an elite hook up ring for working professionals who don't have time to date

like

Hey fish, I need some guidance and advice based on experience. How does one easily transition out of consulting when work is 60+ hours a week? Finding a new role is not always quick, especially if you trying to move away from your current industry. Does anyone have recommendations for specific headhunters or other methods of finding a new role while working consulting hours?

like

I've been googling but please help!!! Anyone know of a way to erase txt messages.?!? Mgr and bf have same name sent the wrong pic to the wrong person... so not trying to get fired!!!

like

Has anyone heard of Stax? What’re their specialties and general salary bands for undergrad hires?

like

Has anyone stayed at the Home2 suites by Hilton? Is it a better choice compared to a DoubleTree? Need to travel to Houston for a night. Appreciate the insight!

like

Had a meeting with my counselor yesterday and I got a 2. She thinks I should've gotten a 1 but with this new YE format, she could not suggest/defend a rating. Bummer!

like

Anyone real estate investing? Looking for good podcasts /books/resources on non-commercial multi family in particular.

like

There is an echo when I speak on calls due to my home office being relatively empty. I added a carpet but hasn’t made as big an impact as I would like. Any tips

like

Does anyone own a motorbike? Where do I start if I’m interested in looking? Also - any places that rent? FYI - I live in NYC.

like

Looking to get a new phone (currently iPhone 5s). Thinking of getting an iPhone again to ease syncing with my iPad but not a big fan of the newer versions. Suggestions on what to get?

like

McKinsey & Company Bain & Company What are the best professional growth tips you have for a young consultant, besides doing a good job and network Accenture Deloitte EY PwC McKinsey & Company Boston Consulting Group Bain & Company Oliver Wyman Kearney

like

Facebook initial round to result timeline: it has been almost 2 weeks and should I send the recruiter a follow up email? Also do they use the application portal where you can check the status? Thanks!!

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal