{ "media_type": "image", "post_content": "What are your thoughts on this article?\n\nI was confused by how an earnest request of how to deal with money matters turned into a \"you are sexist and part of the problem\" epithet. \n\nInterested to hear if others agree or disagree with the approach taken in this article and what I might be missing.\n\nhttps://www.marketwatch.com/amp/story/my-girlfriend-makes-twice-what-i-earn-i-reluctantly-paid-the-200-dinner-check-for-her-first-promotion-she-just-got-another-one-should-i-pay-again-11627260385", "post_id": "60ffaa29a97b920022e60d91", "reply_count": 17, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "58f82c66e7a8f40010f612a7", "bowl_name": "Politics" }
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Is this real life? If they were going out for a birthday dinner would they split that too? Why would splitting a celebratory dinner honoring one person even cross your mind?

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This poor bastatd's getting taken for a ride. She got promoted and expects him to pay? How about "Honey, let's go out and celebrate. This wouldn't have been possible without your love and support. It's on me tonight." Imagine if it was a man who made twice as much expecting his nurse girlfriend to pay for his promotion dinners.

likeuplifting

It's about income and all those other things, but mostly income.

My elderly mom who is on a fixed income celebrated me making manager by cooking my favorite childhood meal. It was touching and really just about how far we’d come. It’s literally not about the money. The Op in the article sounds insecure at best and restful and jealous at worst.

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I didn’t see it as he was being called sexist. I thought the main point was that two people should be supportive, #1 fans of each other. Is he her #1 fan? He’s making an issue out of paying for the celebration dinner because he doesn’t like that she got another promotion. He shared why and I also thought that was telling. It’s very easy to celebrate this another way that wouldn’t require so much money. Why is it an issue? I don’t know what kind of nursing he does but my mom was a nurse and she worked her butt off. Sometimes on 2nd or 3rd shifts. We had to do more. So it is fair to point that someone’s work can interfere with life together no matter the profession. If he had a SO that was complaining and maybe saying “oh we never go out to dinner” but what she said indicated that she didn’t like being married to a nurse or that her husband was gone at night, that’s the real issue.

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I agree with this reading. Its not like these promotions are three months apart and he doesn't want to or cannot put up the cash again. They are years apart and he is still griping about a dinner bill from years ago. It really comes off like he doesn't want to celebrate something that obviously means a lot to her. If it was just about the money, it would be about dinners/entertainment expenses in general - not about a specific duo of dinners that are meant to celebrate her accomplishments. The fact that he is conflating house work with her job speaks a lot to me as well. The amount of housework she does in relation to him should be a different conversation than her career advancement. Otherwise he's making the argument that she should put in less effort at work so she can vacuum more at home - yes, that is pretty toxic.

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They split everything 55-45. She didn’t want to split the 2 celebration dinners. He didn’t say “can we celebrate another way” after not liking it the first time. How is he being taken for a ride?

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10% bid-ask spread is acceptable for certain personal "benefits"

funny

I'd say this is acceptable behavior for a couple that is just dating, it's best to keep all finances separated at that point. But it would be quite odd behavior if they were engaged / married. Ultimately it sounds like the person needs to be more assertive. But if this issue comes up only once every two years.... Just pay the dinner and move on

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I have two feelings on this. 1) as a couple, you’re a team. It’s not hers or yours. Promotions abs anything else is a big cause of celebration and the cheap dude needs to ante up and get over himself. 2) imagine any article suggesting a woman should cook their man a meal as a celebration for promotion when he makes 2x as her. I’d imagine the reaction would be starkly different

likesmart

The whole issue sounds petty but different strokes for different folks.

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I read it and thought they both fail my “door test” for a good partner. Very glad not to be dealing with such pettiness.

likesmart

Yes everything is sexist, racist, or some other-ist. That’s how you create division. So if a guy made director or partner, the wife or gf should pay for celebratory dinner? It’s not like a birthday, it’s literally making more money and asking someone making less to pay.

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I just got promoted over a friend and I am really worried about how this will impact her. To be honest I think she is even more deserving of the promotion than me. What do I do to make it better so our friendship isn’t poisoned by this?

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There’s no better feeling than getting into a top 2 business school after being denied a promotion + being discriminated against in a toxic work environment (sorry for the humblebrag, just so excited to leave my job)

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likehelpful

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